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CSPO Affect Shared Parenting?

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B

betterthanher

Guest
What is the name of your state?OH
OK...now I got to ask a question to get some opinions/advice from some of the "seasoned vets" on here. ;)

Would filing a CSPO (Civil Stalking Protection Order) affect me negatively in a Shared Parenting plan? The ex-gf (this is the only order I can file since we were never married) over the past 5-6 months has engaged in a pattern of conduct where she is intimidating (or trying to), threatening (taking kids out of state so I can't file spp), annoy and harass not only me, but now my wife. She's even attempted to extort and coerce money from me before any cs proceedings were final or else she'd file for back support (that alone is considered extortion according to Ohio's codes) and other "damages." (BTW...paternity and support order never existed until recently). Over those months, she made almost weekly calls (which can be proven by cell records) and written letters -- all of this between Dec 04 and June 2005.
She's called my work phone (unsolicited) and my wife (unsolicited) and we've told her not to call -- she has the number to call.

I wrote her a letter a couple of weeks ago pretty much stating we're not going to put up with this anymore and here's when you'll call, what number you'll call and the tone you'll use when addressing anyone of us (either live or recorded) and no letters, unless it's regarding our children (school, doctors, etc...in fact, I 'requested' this information, cited the ORC and FERPA and she has yet to send it). She's clearly disobeyed that, too.

Overall, she thinks she can do whatever she wants, but ohio codes state differently. I am going to file a CSPO against her (an emergency ex-parte hearing) -- but will that affect me negatively when it comes time to working out the shared parenting plan? There were some elements of it "the" final decision-maker on some things because of her behavior, along with her behavior which clearly demonstrates her Parent-Alienation with the child and me (as described by psychologists/researchers).

While her psychotic, insecure behavior needs to be stopped legally and this is the last resort, I am wondering if this might come to bite me in the backside so we don't have to suffer further mental distress from this nutjob. Technically, she has absolutely no reason to be calling.

BTW, Ohio defines Menacing by stalking as "No person by engaging in a pattern of conduct shall knowingly cause another person to believe that the offender will cause physical harm to the other person or cause mental distress to the other person" (ORC 2903.211(A)(1). Plus, I am claiming her behavior is in violation of ORC 2917.21 (A)(2)(5), (B), (C)(1)(2)(3). Extort/coercion: ORC 2905.11 (A)(4)(5) and 2905.12 (A)(2)(3)(4)(5).
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
betterthanher said:
What is the name of your state?OH
OK...now I got to ask a question to get some opinions/advice from some of the "seasoned vets" on here. ;)

Would filing a CSPO (Civil Stalking Protection Order) affect me negatively in a Shared Parenting plan? The ex-gf (this is the only order I can file since we were never married) over the past 5-6 months has engaged in a pattern of conduct where she is intimidating (or trying to), threatening (taking kids out of state so I can't file spp), annoy and harass not only me, but now my wife. She's even attempted to extort and coerce money from me before any cs proceedings were final or else she'd file for back support (that alone is considered extortion according to Ohio's codes) and other "damages." (BTW...paternity and support order never existed until recently). Over those months, she made almost weekly calls (which can be proven by cell records) and written letters -- all of this between Dec 04 and June 2005.
She's called my work phone (unsolicited) and my wife (unsolicited) and we've told her not to call -- she has the number to call.

I wrote her a letter a couple of weeks ago pretty much stating we're not going to put up with this anymore and here's when you'll call, what number you'll call and the tone you'll use when addressing anyone of us (either live or recorded) and no letters, unless it's regarding our children (school, doctors, etc...in fact, I 'requested' this information, cited the ORC and FERPA and she has yet to send it). She's clearly disobeyed that, too.

Overall, she thinks she can do whatever she wants, but ohio codes state differently. I am going to file a CSPO against her (an emergency ex-parte hearing) -- but will that affect me negatively when it comes time to working out the shared parenting plan? There were some elements of it "the" final decision-maker on some things because of her behavior, along with her behavior which clearly demonstrates her Parent-Alienation with the child and me (as described by psychologists/researchers).

While her psychotic, insecure behavior needs to be stopped legally and this is the last resort, I am wondering if this might come to bite me in the backside so we don't have to suffer further mental distress from this nutjob. Technically, she has absolutely no reason to be calling.

BTW, Ohio defines Menacing by stalking as "No person by engaging in a pattern of conduct shall knowingly cause another person to believe that the offender will cause physical harm to the other person or cause mental distress to the other person" (ORC 2903.211(A)(1). Plus, I am claiming her behavior is in violation of ORC 2917.21 (A)(2)(5), (B), (C)(1)(2)(3). Extort/coercion: ORC 2905.11 (A)(4)(5) and 2905.12 (A)(2)(3)(4)(5).
Dude, I think you could be digging yourself into a hole here.

Attempting to get you to help support your children, even though there is no child support order isn't extortion. Even threatening to file for back support if you don't wouldn't be considered extortion.

Contacting you once a week and writing letters, when you have minor children in common isn't harassment or stalking. It would be if she was contacting you 10 times a day...but not once a week.

ORC and FERPA don't require HER to provide you information regarding the children....it enables YOU to obtain that information directly from the parties holding the records.

Yes, filing a CSPO against her could definitely have a negative impact on any attempt by you to get shared parenting. It could demonstrate that you aren't willing to communicate and cooperate with mom.

In addition, you will never get a judge to order her not to communicate with you in writing.....about ANY issue regarding the children, which includes ALL issues related to the children....not just school and medical.
 
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casa

Senior Member
betterthanher said:
What is the name of your state?OH
OK...now I got to ask a question to get some opinions/advice from some of the "seasoned vets" on here. ;)

Would filing a CSPO (Civil Stalking Protection Order) affect me negatively in a Shared Parenting plan? The ex-gf (this is the only order I can file since we were never married) over the past 5-6 months has engaged in a pattern of conduct where she is intimidating (or trying to), threatening (taking kids out of state so I can't file spp), annoy and harass not only me, but now my wife. She's even attempted to extort and coerce money from me before any cs proceedings were final or else she'd file for back support (that alone is considered extortion according to Ohio's codes) and other "damages." (BTW...paternity and support order never existed until recently). Over those months, she made almost weekly calls (which can be proven by cell records) and written letters -- all of this between Dec 04 and June 2005.
She's called my work phone (unsolicited) and my wife (unsolicited) and we've told her not to call -- she has the number to call.

I wrote her a letter a couple of weeks ago pretty much stating we're not going to put up with this anymore and here's when you'll call, what number you'll call and the tone you'll use when addressing anyone of us (either live or recorded) and no letters, unless it's regarding our children (school, doctors, etc...in fact, I 'requested' this information, cited the ORC and FERPA and she has yet to send it). She's clearly disobeyed that, too.

Overall, she thinks she can do whatever she wants, but ohio codes state differently. I am going to file a CSPO against her (an emergency ex-parte hearing) -- but will that affect me negatively when it comes time to working out the shared parenting plan? There were some elements of it "the" final decision-maker on some things because of her behavior, along with her behavior which clearly demonstrates her Parent-Alienation with the child and me (as described by psychologists/researchers).

While her psychotic, insecure behavior needs to be stopped legally and this is the last resort, I am wondering if this might come to bite me in the backside so we don't have to suffer further mental distress from this nutjob. Technically, she has absolutely no reason to be calling.

BTW, Ohio defines Menacing by stalking as "No person by engaging in a pattern of conduct shall knowingly cause another person to believe that the offender will cause physical harm to the other person or cause mental distress to the other person" (ORC 2903.211(A)(1). Plus, I am claiming her behavior is in violation of ORC 2917.21 (A)(2)(5), (B), (C)(1)(2)(3). Extort/coercion: ORC 2905.11 (A)(4)(5) and 2905.12 (A)(2)(3)(4)(5).
This is why I always recommend any correspondence be in writing or on voice mail/answering machines.

Unless the letter you wrote her was sent registered mail, she'll deny you even asked her to stop. Also, as LdiJ pointed out- once a week isn't going to be considered over the top re; communication.

Your request for joint custody will depend on what the court views as your ability to cooperative co-parent.

You can obtain records from Dr.s and schools yourself by requesting them. That is your Right regardless of if you are a Custodial parent or not.

If paternity wasn't established until recently~ she'd be unlikely in getting back child support before that. You were not legally the father prior to paternity being established. In some cases, and in some states it happens- but it's definately not the rule.

Refuse to cooperate- she'll either lose interest when she no longer has an audience...or she'll start leaving proof via recorded messages of her harassment.
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
casa said:
This is why I always recommend any correspondence be in writing or on voice mail/answering machines.

Unless the letter you wrote her was sent registered mail, she'll deny you even asked her to stop. Also, as LdiJ pointed out- once a week isn't going to be considered over the top re; communication.

Your request for joint custody will depend on what the court views as your ability to cooperative co-parent.

You can obtain records from Dr.s and schools yourself by requesting them. That is your Right regardless of if you are a Custodial parent or not.

If paternity wasn't established until recently~ she'd be unlikely in getting back child support before that. You were not legally the father prior to paternity being established. In some cases, and in some states it happens- but it's definately not the rule.

Refuse to cooperate- she'll either lose interest when she no longer has an audience...or she'll start leaving proof via recorded messages of her harassment.
I DO have proof from her!!! (sorry if I didn't clarify that...I should know better! ;) ) She has left proof via recorded messages and in writing. I have 'em!

I have asked her to provide me with information and she hasn't (she is very much against spp because it would decrease the amount of cs she'd recieve...gee, like we haven't seen that on here before. But her issues go further than that, obviously).

I should clarify something that I see I wasn't clear about before (my bad, I know): A support order did NOT exist when she was making these calls and writing letters extorting or coercing money from me. She knew that b ecause she was told specifically by an attorney. But she continued to send letters asking money to be sent to her for this and that. I told her (several times) to send me the original literature that states the cost of things and I'll review it. Of course, I never got that information (obviously I caught her in her game). I was born at night, but not last night! ;)

I was sending money to the state during this time and she was getting it. She was asking for several hundred dollars and if she didn't get it, she'd file for "back support" or do other crap (yes, this is in writing and yes, according to ohio's codes, that is considered extortion because it constitutes ' threatening damage.').

I don't have any of this information, which is why I was requesting it from her. She thinks I am not entitled to any of it. But she's entitled to the support and I am entitled to nothing. :rolleyes: Ha! But, if this is the game she wants to play, she'll find out it will nip her in the butt because I have documented every single incident with her. I've even tried to talk to the kids and have never heard from them (documented date/times of this, too).

It's a shame that psychotic behavior like hers is allowed without any legal repurcussions when it's clearly spelled out in the state's codes. I HAVE been cooperative and she has no proof at all that I haven't!!! On the other hand, I have all of the evidence against her because she was stupid enough to write it and leave it on answering machines/voicemails. Her actions are unprovoked. I have proof of all of this and it's all stacked against her. She's lied before in court papers (which I will be dealing with in a separate suit when it's all said and done), so I know she'll start trying to throw anything to see what sticks -- she has no proof to back up anything.

Instead of filing the CSPO would it be better for me to just continue to ignore her and file for spp tomorrow and indicate, in detail, her behavior and actions (and refer to some state codes) along with indicating that I have evidence of this. I am trying to get her decision-making ability decreased or eliminated because of her behavior because she clearly does not have the best interest of the children in mind.
 

CJane

Senior Member
betterthanher said:
I have asked her to provide me with information and she hasn't (she is very much against spp because it would decrease the amount of cs she'd recieve...gee, like we haven't seen that on here before. But her issues go further than that, obviously).
Is there a court order that specifies that she is to provide you with ANY information?

I should clarify something that I see I wasn't clear about before (my bad, I know): A support order did NOT exist when she was making these calls and writing letters extorting or coercing money from me. She knew that b ecause she was told specifically by an attorney. But she continued to send letters asking money to be sent to her for this and that.

<snip>

I was sending money to the state during this time and she was getting it.
Without a support order?

She was asking for several hundred dollars and if she didn't get it, she'd file for "back support" or do other crap (yes, this is in writing and yes, according to ohio's codes, that is considered extortion because it constitutes ' threatening damage.').
Pretty flimsy.

I don't have any of this information, which is why I was requesting it from her. She thinks I am not entitled to any of it. But she's entitled to the support and I am entitled to nothing.
If you weren't legally established as the father, then you WEREN'T entitled to any of that. Even then, unless it's in the order that it's HER RESPONSIBILITY to provide you with that info, then she owes you nothing.

:rolleyes: Ha! But, if this is the game she wants to play, she'll find out it will nip her in the butt because I have documented every single incident with her. I've even tried to talk to the kids and have never heard from them (documented date/times of this, too).
Is there a contact order that she's in violation of?

Instead of filing the CSPO would it be better for me to just continue to ignore her and file for spp tomorrow and indicate, in detail, her behavior and actions (and refer to some state codes) along with indicating that I have evidence of this. I am trying to get her decision-making ability decreased or eliminated because of her behavior because she clearly does not have the best interest of the children in mind.
Yes, it'd be better to ignore it. Being the 'bifgger person' never hurts in these cases.

If filing for joint-custody, you probably wouldn't have to cite anything re: statutes since most states favor joint anyway. In fact, acting as if you're 'better than her' might just bite YOU in the ass.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
betterthanher said:
Instead of filing the CSPO would it be better for me to just continue to ignore her and file for spp tomorrow and indicate, in detail, her behavior and actions (and refer to some state codes) along with indicating that I have evidence of this. I am trying to get her decision-making ability decreased or eliminated because of her behavior because she clearly does not have the best interest of the children in mind.
I think it would be better to address your issues through family court, than through a CSPO.
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
CJane said:
Is there a court order that specifies that she is to provide you with ANY information?
Don't need a court order. It's information I am ENTITLED to and I don't doubt a Judge would frown on the mother for denying me this information that I requested. The fact is, she wouldn't have a valid reason at all. I can't very well contact the school, medical professionals, etc. if I don't know who they are. I am pretty sure a Judge would see this as a game she's playing.

Without a support order?
We're in one of those states where it takes months for them to add some numbers together. I sent some during this time. Hope that clarified it.

Pretty flimsy.
Actually it's not...look up the codes, it's spelled out.

If you weren't legally established as the father, then you WEREN'T entitled to any of that. Even then, unless it's in the order that it's HER RESPONSIBILITY to provide you with that info, then she owes you nothing.
Uggh...I was established as the father several months ago. I just asked for this information a couple of weeks ago. Again, there is no need for a court order to get this freaking information. It's info I am entitled to and she has no reason to withhold it. I don't play games...gimme the flipping information I am LEGALLY entitled to. She would have no valid reason NOT to give it to me and a Judge would no doubt back me up.

Is there a contact order that she's in violation of?
Has nothing to do with it. I have documented proof of her emotional and mental instability and refusal to cooperate and communicate like an adult. It's that "I'm a woman-scorned" BS. She -- nor anyone else -- has any right to act like Glenn Close from "Fatal Attraction" without dealing with the legal ramifications of it. Her behavior WILL bite her in the ass. All of the cards are against HER when it comes to encouraging a positive relationship between the adults. If she wants to act like she's 13, then let her. But, she'll pay for it. Another reason why I am better than her!

Yes, it'd be better to ignore it. Being the 'bifgger person' never hurts in these cases.
As I have been and been thinking that -- which is exactly why I decided to get advice from the more seasoned people on here!

If filing for joint-custody, you probably wouldn't have to cite anything re: statutes since most states favor joint anyway. In fact, acting as if you're 'better than her' might just bite YOU in the ass.
Nope...no reason to act like that at all. I know I am better than her! :) Plus her behavior over the past few months will hurt her because she thinks that she'll get exactly what she wants. I have the mounds of proof to show how difficult, disrespectful, inconsiderate and disobeying she is. She's got nothing on me. She'll be in for a big surprise when reality knocks her on her fat a$$! And if her behavior prevents me from getting shared parenting, which is my legal right, then she'll be dealt with accordingly when I file ANOTHER suit against her.
 
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B

betterthanher

Guest
LdiJ said:
I think it would be better to address your issues through family court, than through a CSPO.
I will do just that....and I appreciate everyone's advice.
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
svp938 said:
So how did everything go? Did she finally obey the orders?
Why did we dig up a 3 month old thread??? Hmm...and it's your first post.
 

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