Custodial parent charged with aggravated assault and unlawful restraint on minor.

[enigma1774]

State: Vermont

My ex husband, (who has custody of our 16 year old son J.L.) was recently arraigned in court for Aggravated Assault and Unlawful Restraint on his girlfriends 16 year old son who he held against a wall and choked. There have been numerous complaints to the Department of Children and Families concerning my ex and his abusing his girlfriends children but this is the first time charges have been filed. The girlfriend is still residing with my ex and there is still turmoil brewing in the household. I currently have J.L for visitation until 8/11 and hate the thought of sending him home to his abusive father. Do I have grounds to file an emergency motion to modify parental rights and responsibilities based on this?

Back story: I live in Florida, case is in Vermont where my ex and our son live. Our son J.L. made the choice to stay with his father at age 13. I agreed with his choice at the time because I was moving away and didn't want to take him from friends and extended family he had in Vermont. I communicate regularly with J.L and he visits me 10 weeks a year in FL. and I visit him in VT. My ex is very controlling and manipulative and was abusive toward me but never toward our son that I witnessed. I have noticed recently that our son is becoming withdrawn and painfully timid, flinching if I move too quick next to him like he expects me to hit him. J.L would not dare speak against his father or tell me if anything was wrong but I feel strongly he is in need of counseling and a safe environment. I did what I thought was best for him at the time, now I feel whats best for him is to get him out of such a destructive environment.

 

[sandyclaus]

State: Vermont

My ex husband, (who has custody of our 16 year old son J.L.) was recently arraigned in court for Aggravated Assault and Unlawful Restraint on his girlfriends 16 year old son who he held against a wall and choked. There have been numerous complaints to the Department of Children and Families concerning my ex and his abusing his girlfriends children but this is the first time charges have been filed. The girlfriend is still residing with my ex and there is still turmoil brewing in the household. I currently have J.L for visitation until 8/11 and hate the thought of sending him home to his abusive father. Do I have grounds to file an emergency motion to modify parental rights and responsibilities based on this?

Back story: I live in Florida, case is in Vermont where my ex and our son live. Our son J.L. made the choice to stay with his father at age 13. I agreed with his choice at the time because I was moving away and didn't want to take him from friends and extended family he had in Vermont. I communicate regularly with J.L and he visits me 10 weeks a year in FL. and I visit him in VT. My ex is very controlling and manipulative and was abusive toward me but never toward our son that I witnessed. I have noticed recently that our son is becoming withdrawn and painfully timid, flinching if I move too quick next to him like he expects me to hit him. J.L would not dare speak against his father or tell me if anything was wrong but I feel strongly he is in need of counseling and a safe environment. I did what I thought was best for him at the time, now I feel whats best for him is to get him out of such a destructive environment.

You've said yourself that your ex is not abusive toward your son. Are you sure about that? Obviously the Department of Children and Families is involved in the situation between your ex and the girlfriend's son. Have you spoken with them about investigating potential abuse against YOUR son?

And when you say you want to modify parental rights and responsibilities, what exactly are you looking to change? Are you looking to change custody?

 

[LdiJ]

State: Vermont

My ex husband, (who has custody of our 16 year old son J.L.) was recently arraigned in court for Aggravated Assault and Unlawful Restraint on his girlfriends 16 year old son who he held against a wall and choked. There have been numerous complaints to the Department of Children and Families concerning my ex and his abusing his girlfriends children but this is the first time charges have been filed. The girlfriend is still residing with my ex and there is still turmoil brewing in the household. I currently have J.L for visitation until 8/11 and hate the thought of sending him home to his abusive father. Do I have grounds to file an emergency motion to modify parental rights and responsibilities based on this?

Back story: I live in Florida, case is in Vermont where my ex and our son live. Our son J.L. made the choice to stay with his father at age 13. I agreed with his choice at the time because I was moving away and didn't want to take him from friends and extended family he had in Vermont. I communicate regularly with J.L and he visits me 10 weeks a year in FL. and I visit him in VT. My ex is very controlling and manipulative and was abusive toward me but never toward our son that I witnessed. I have noticed recently that our son is becoming withdrawn and painfully timid, flinching if I move too quick next to him like he expects me to hit him. J.L would not dare speak against his father or tell me if anything was wrong but I feel strongly he is in need of counseling and a safe environment. I did what I thought was best for him at the time, now I feel whats best for him is to get him out of such a destructive environment.

Unfortunately, you cannot just keep JL instead of sending him back on 8/11...you would need a court order. You could try for a temporary, emergency order based on the charges against dad, but that is no guarantee that you would get it. You can certainly file to modify custody, but that takes time and it would not allow you to keep JL.

I recommend that you consult with an attorney in Vermont. You are going to need one anyway, as its not something that you can realistically handle without on, on a long distance basis.

 

[CJane]

Is dad currently incarcerated?

 

[Just Blue]

Is dad currently incarcerated?

Very good question.

Also after looking over your other thread I must ask...Why did you allow your child to CHOSE to live with this abusive man? Why would you move 1.5 K miles away?? Did it seem easier than giving up your new hubby??

 

[enigma1774]

No, he is not in jail. I was two months pregnant with my present husband and just diagnosed with cancer and in no shape physicaly or mentaly at that point for a custody battle. I had an attorney who was worthless that had already consumed $5000 of my deposit and gotten nowhere. I had to get myself healthy before I could take on this fight, with his present charges I have an open window now.

 

[Ohiogal]

No, he is not in jail. I was two months pregnant with my present husband and just diagnosed with cancer and in no shape physicaly or mentaly at that point for a custody battle. I had an attorney who was worthless that had already consumed $5000 of my deposit and gotten nowhere. I had to get myself healthy before I could take on this fight, with his present charges I have an open window now.

Charges mean very little. A conviction MIGHT. An investigation by CPS means very little -- why? Because false calls are always sent in and CPS must investigate every call. If they found something CPS would take it to court and then you would have to complete a ICPC in order to get custody.