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Custodial Parent unemployed deliberately

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LdiJ

Senior Member
Good point of view, which brings me back to wonder... how does she survive on just CS? Could there be LTD or SSDI that Is not being factored in?
Previous employment had an open return to work offer, and at an OBGYN, not really sure what the tasks involve that don’t allow for the occasional break. And even with that open door, why pursue a different field?
It depends on whether or not, with her bad back, that she can physically do the work that she was previously doing for the OBGYN. The bad back could explain why she went back to school for different training.
 

Bookert13

Member
It depends on whether or not, with her bad back, that she can physically do the work that she was previously doing for the OBGYN. The bad back could explain why she went back to school for different training.
That’s what baffles me, if that was indeed the purpose, why 2 years later is she still unemployed for the career path of her choice that I’m sure she figured suited her special needs.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
That’s what baffles me, if that was indeed the purpose, why 2 years later is she still unemployed for the career path of her choice that I’m sure she figured suited her special needs.
Perhaps, as you were told by someone else, those kinds of jobs are actually very hard to find.
 

Pinkie39

Member
Good point of view, which brings me back to wonder... how does she survive on just CS? Could there be LTD or SSDI that Is not being factored in?
Previous employment had an open return to work offer, and at an OBGYN, not really sure what the tasks involve that don’t allow for the occasional break. And even with that open door, why pursue a different field?
Possibly any or all of the following. Section 8 or other subsidized housing. SNAP/food stamps. Medicaid. HEAP/PIPP. WIC, if any of the kids are 5 years old or younger. Free or reduced price school lunches for the kids.

Many people would be worse off with say, a $15 an hour full time job, and being over income for any government assistance, vs say, a minimum wage job plus government assistance. Or say, nontaxable child support and government assistance.

I'm a public assistance caseworker in a Medicaid expansion state. My state doesn't even count child support when it comes to determining Medicaid eligibility. It doesn't affect eligibility. But $1400 a month in earned income will be counted.

Maybe she looked at her eligibility for various assistance programs if she took a full time job earning above minimum wage, and determined it wouldn't be worth it financially.
 

Bookert13

Member
Possibly any or all of the following. Section 8 or other subsidized housing. SNAP/food stamps. Medicaid. HEAP/PIPP. WIC, if any of the kids are 5 years old or younger. Free or reduced price school lunches for the kids.

Many people would be worse off with say, a $15 an hour full time job, and being over income for any government assistance, vs say, a minimum wage job plus government assistance. Or say, nontaxable child support and government assistance.

I'm a public assistance caseworker in a Medicaid expansion state. My state doesn't even count child support when it comes to determining Medicaid eligibility. It doesn't affect eligibility. But $1400 a month in earned income will be counted.

Maybe she looked at her eligibility for various assistance programs if she took a full time job earning above minimum wage, and determined it wouldn't be worth it financially.
Thank you for that. I have always wondered. My new household won’t even qualify for free school lunches. And her housing is a mortgage on a home since, while working she qualified to purchase a very decent home with the CS and her income. Out of curiosity, do these govt assistant programs just pay out indefinitely? I’m happy to know there are sources for her, and definitely don’t want her demise in anyway. She has my children after all; my entire post was just to inquire and get peace of mind at how one parent can shirk working responsibilities, but if the tables were turned and I could not work or find work, I believe I would be thrown in jail. This lady has taken me to court for contempt of court over $43 in back CS that was only short because her bank deducted the fee from the type of transfer that she requested. So in my defense, I am not so much bitter but just tired of being drug through the dirt when all I wanted was to be there for my children and provide what is needed. And even amidst all that, she was on a mission to keep them away from me. So yes, I try to see them but all 4 of them have been made to block me on Facebook, if that paints the clearer picture. So to hide any income she has if there is is something I would not put past her. That is all. I will keep paying what I need to; I suppose I was counting down as each child dropped off which it will go from 4 to 2 right now, but it seems a reduction has yet to happen since my raises make up for the aging out of children while all along her min wage is maintained.
 

Pinkie39

Member
Thank you for that. I have always wondered. My new household won’t even qualify for free school lunches. And her housing is a mortgage on a home since, while working she qualified to purchase a very decent home with the CS and her income. Out of curiosity, do these govt assistant programs just pay out indefinitely? I’m happy to know there are sources for her, and definitely don’t want her demise in anyway. She has my children after all; my entire post was just to inquire and get peace of mind at how one parent can shirk working responsibilities, but if the tables were turned and I could not work or find work, I believe I would be thrown in jail. This lady has taken me to court for contempt of court over $43 in back CS that was only short because her bank deducted the fee from the type of transfer that she requested. So in my defense, I am not so much bitter but just tired of being drug through the dirt when all I wanted was to be there for my children and provide what is needed. And even amidst all that, she was on a mission to keep them away from me. So yes, I try to see them but all 4 of them have been made to block me on Facebook, if that paints the clearer picture. So to hide any income she has if there is is something I would not put past her. That is all. I will keep paying what I need to; I suppose I was counting down as each child dropped off which it will go from 4 to 2 right now, but it seems a reduction has yet to happen since my raises make up for the aging out of children while all along her min wage is maintained.
Are any of the above programs time limited? No, although some states require adults without dependent children to meet certain work requirements (or meet an exemption) to get SNAP. And cash welfare (TANF) of course is time limited to 60 months in a lifetime, with some states setting lower initial caps. But if she's getting $1400 a month in child support, she's almost certainly ineligible for TANF.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Thank you for that. I have always wondered. My new household won’t even qualify for free school lunches. And her housing is a mortgage on a home since, while working she qualified to purchase a very decent home with the CS and her income. Out of curiosity, do these govt assistant programs just pay out indefinitely? I’m happy to know there are sources for her, and definitely don’t want her demise in anyway. She has my children after all; my entire post was just to inquire and get peace of mind at how one parent can shirk working responsibilities, but if the tables were turned and I could not work or find work, I believe I would be thrown in jail. This lady has taken me to court for contempt of court over $43 in back CS that was only short because her bank deducted the fee from the type of transfer that she requested. So in my defense, I am not so much bitter but just tired of being drug through the dirt when all I wanted was to be there for my children and provide what is needed. And even amidst all that, she was on a mission to keep them away from me. So yes, I try to see them but all 4 of them have been made to block me on Facebook, if that paints the clearer picture. So to hide any income she has if there is is something I would not put past her. That is all. I will keep paying what I need to; I suppose I was counting down as each child dropped off which it will go from 4 to 2 right now, but it seems a reduction has yet to happen since my raises make up for the aging out of children while all along her min wage is maintained.
If you are not seeing your children that is on you as much as it is on mom. You can enforce your court ordered visitation rights.
 

ajkroy

Member
Medical Assisting careers are booming everywhere around the country, and growing at a rate much higher than most other sectors, healthcare or otherwise. Since most hospitals are hiring BSNs and above, MAs are doing the work traditionally done by RNs before (except for starting IVs). Most doctor offices hire MAs instead of RNs. There is no "heavy lifting", so no real chance to hurt one's back; in fact, many MA positions are administrative only. We perform injections, EKGs, draw blood, help with radiology, surgery, office exams, labor/delivery, oncology, specimen retrieval/testing, and many more tasks.

HIM (Health Information Management) is also highly in demand. It would be a desk job at a hospital and one would need accurate knowledge of coding and billing in order to perform it.

If the OP's ex is not employed in either of these fields after appropriate training, it is absolutely the fault of the ex.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Medical Assisting careers are booming everywhere around the country, and growing at a rate much higher than most other sectors, healthcare or otherwise. Since most hospitals are hiring BSNs and above, MAs are doing the work traditionally done by RNs before (except for starting IVs). Most doctor offices hire MAs instead of RNs. There is no "heavy lifting", so no real chance to hurt one's back; in fact, many MA positions are administrative only. We perform injections, EKGs, draw blood, help with radiology, surgery, office exams, labor/delivery, oncology, specimen retrieval/testing, and many more tasks.

HIM (Health Information Management) is also highly in demand. It would be a desk job at a hospital and one would need accurate knowledge of coding and billing in order to perform it.

If the OP's ex is not employed in either of these fields after appropriate training, it is absolutely the fault of the ex.
Commentator, who is a respected senior member gave a very different description of the potential jobs in question and their availability. How do we know which one of you is correct? Those are vastly opposing opinions.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I suspect there is a great variety in what is available by region, practice and specific training. I have seen many clinical MAs who are required to aid with patient transfer. And that can be back-breaking.

In any event, OP will need to go much deeper than "I saw some stuff on social media that she got more qualifications, so she just doesn't want to work!" and provide some actual proof, both of the additional qualifications, that there are plenty of appropriate positions, and that Mom has refused to either look for work and/or refused offers.
 

ajkroy

Member
Commentator, who is a respected senior member gave a very different description of the potential jobs in question and their availability. How do we know which one of you is correct? Those are vastly opposing opinions.
I respect Commentator immensely; she has helped me personally and I see all that she does to help this forum. It is also with respect that I think she may have been thinking of CNAs in her post. Those jobs are difficult, back-breaking, and physically-demanding nurse aides that suffer constant turnover and low wages.

I have been an MA for 25 years and have been a Medical Assisting instructor for nearly 20 years. I not only hold a license to teach others about Medical Assisting in Massachusetts, I am part of a core group of people who assesses other potential Medical Assisting instructors in their own quest for licensure. I also hold a Masters in Healthcare Administration.

The information I posted should also be easy to look up on Google.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I respect Commentator immensely; she has helped me personally and I see all that she does to help this forum. It is also with respect that I think she may have been thinking of CNAs in her post. Those jobs are difficult, back-breaking, and physically-demanding nurse aides that suffer constant turnover and low wages.

I have been an MA for 25 years and have been a Medical Assisting instructor for nearly 20 years. I not only hold a license to teach others about Medical Assisting in Massachusetts, I am part of a core group of people who assesses other potential Medical Assisting instructors in their own quest for licensure. I also hold a Masters in Healthcare Administration.

The information I posted should also be easy to look up on Google.
Thank you for explaining. I think that cleared things up.
 

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