custody again

[talezman]

What is the name of your state? OH
I have shared parenting with my ex-wife and she now wants legal guardianship. Our court papers show both parents as legal guardians when we each have our daughter. My problem is when it is her mothers time and she wants to go to an event my family is having, her mother feels she needs to tag along as well, ie...church events, family outtings, scheduled events, etc... Why should I have to entertain my ex-wife at my church events, she doesn't even go to church and doesn't like church? When I told her she was not invited and it may be beter to skip the events all together she claimed I was making our daughter choose between her parents.
I have a journal of every time my ex tried to interfear with my parenting time and every little dirty secret from her and her whole family. I would like to find that one attorney everyone is affraid of. You know the one I'm talking about. When other attorneys see there name they take a step back and rethink there plan. I know I have a great case but I need to make sure I have the right attorney to go for the throat. Don't get me wrong, I never could and never would take my daughter away from her mother, but I damn sure will let her mother know I can. Does anyone in OH know of the best attorney to handle this?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? OH
I have shared parenting with my ex-wife and she now wants legal guardianship. Our court papers show both parents as legal guardians when we each have our daughter. My problem is when it is her mothers time and she wants to go to an event my family is having, her mother feels she needs to tag along as well, ie...church events, family outtings, scheduled events, etc... Why should I have to entertain my ex-wife at my church events, she doesn't even go to church and doesn't like church? When I told her she was not invited and it may be beter to skip the events all together she claimed I was making our daughter choose between her parents.
I have a journal of every time my ex tried to interfear with my parenting time and every little dirty secret from her and her whole family. I would like to find that one attorney everyone is affraid of. You know the one I'm talking about. When other attorneys see there name they take a step back and rethink there plan. I know I have a great case but I need to make sure I have the right attorney to go for the throat. Don't get me wrong, I never could and never would take my daughter away from her mother, but I damn sure will let her mother know I can. Does anyone in OH know of the best attorney to handle this?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?

You don't have to entertain your ex wife at events that involve your family.....you can opt not to interfere with your ex wife's time with the child by either not scheduling events on your ex wife's time (and asking your family to help with that), or not asking that your child be involved with events on your ex wife's time.

If your ex interferes with your parenting time, then you can file for contempt against her.

Shared parenting means that both parents make every effort to NOT interfere with the other parent's time, and that each parent cooperates as best they can, with NECESSARY schedule changes.

Personally...I think its really really really tacky of you to object to mom being present at church functions. However, that is merely a personal opinion, not a legal one.

 

[CJane]

You don't have to entertain your ex wife at events that involve your family.....you can opt not to interfere with your ex wife's time with the child by either not scheduling events on your ex wife's time (and asking your family to help with that), or not asking that your child be involved with events on your ex wife's time.

If your ex interferes with your parenting time, then you can file for contempt against her.

Shared parenting means that both parents make every effort to NOT interfere with the other parent's time, and that each parent cooperates as best they can, with NECESSARY schedule changes.

Personally...I think its really really really tacky of you to object to mom being present at church functions. However, that is merely a personal opinion, not a legal one.

This is a duplicate post...

I'm gonna copy/paste my earlier response here and report the other...

What is the name of your state? OH
I have shared parenting with my ex-wife and she now wants legal guardianship. Our court papers show both parents as legal guardians when we each have our daughter. My problem is when it is her mothers time and she wants to go to an event my family is having, her mother feels she needs to tag along as well, ie...church events, family outtings, scheduled events, etc... Why should I have to entertain my ex-wife at my church events, she doesn't even go to church and doesn't like church? When I told her she was not invited and it may be beter to skip the events all together she claimed I was making our daughter choose between her parents.

Oh dear.

You CAN ask mom not to attend family gatherings held in private locations. And therefore not invite your daughter either.

You DO NOT have the right to tell your ex that she is not welcome in a PUBLIC location such as a church. THAT is going to be so frowned upon by the court I can't even tell you.

I don't go to church. I am, in fact, a heathen. My ex is Southern Baptist. Church 3x/week at least. He had my daughter baptized w/out notifying me. When THAT came up in court and his response was "She's not even Christian, we don't want her there" the judge REAMED him. Badly.

This is NOT a road you want to go down.

I have a journal of every time my ex tried to interfear with my parenting time

Such as?

And by 'tried to' do you mean she was successful?

and every little dirty secret from her and her whole family.

Irrelevant.

I know I have a great case

Umm.... not so far, you don't.

but I need to make sure I have the right attorney to go for the throat. Don't get me wrong, I never could and never would take my daughter away from her mother, but I damn sure will let her mother know I can. Does anyone in OH know of the best attorney to handle this?

No ethical attorney is going to touch a case of game playing and threat tossing.

 

[majomom1]

This is a duplicate post...

I'm gonna copy/paste my earlier response here and report the other...

FYI... I am not sure yet how to report a thread... but I will look...

These duplicate posts are a glitch on the site (I hope that is the right word). I learned this when I first started posting. If you don't logon to your user name, before you start a new thread, it will post it twice.

When you try to submit the post, before you login, it asks you for your user name and sign in info, then it comes back to a blank screen. It looks like all you typed has been lost, so you retype it all and click on submit. Then it ends up being posted twice.

This happened to me twice, before I learned to login and then set it to remember me.

 

[CJane]

FYI... I am not sure yet how to report a thread... but I will look...

These duplicate posts are a glitch on the site (I hope that is the right word). I learned this when I first started posting. If you don't logon to your user name, before you start a new thread, it will post it twice.

When you try to submit the post, before you login, it asks you for your user name and sign in info, then it comes back to a blank screen. It looks like all you typed has been lost, so you retype it all and click on submit. Then it ends up being posted twice.

This happened to me twice, before I learned to login and then set it to remember me.

So? Maybe I ENJOY reporting threads. Did you ever think of THAT????

 

[talezman]

there have been countless events I haven't mentioned to my daughter because they were not held on my weekends. However, I was married to this person for 10 years and she never once went to church with me. I asked a few times but didn't want to push my beleafs on her so let it go. She said she wasn't brought up in church and feels out of place when she goes. I had no problem with that. However, when I take my daughter to church, which she loves by the way, and they announce an upcomming event that my daughter wants to go to, I simply ask my ex for the same respect I give her and let me take her. I grew up in this church and my daughter is as well. Why now would my ex feel so comfortable going to church? When my daughter had friends birthday parties, Rugrats on ice, her other grandmothers birthday party, an appointment to get her hair cut, help mommy pick out a new car, the list goes on and on, I let my ex pick her up and take her. Just a little respect for my ex and the simple fact that my daughter wanted to do something and I would not hold her back from it. Is it really too much to ask for the same respect in return? Or am I asking a bunch of mothers that feel fathers should have to give in and let the childs mother do as they please? It seems I have given plenty of my time to my ex and everyone in here thinks thats just the way it should be. If you were treated poorly by your childrens fathers thats not right, but hopefully, some day you will see that there actually are fathers out there that DO want the best for there kids and maybe mom isn't always a saint.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

It seems to me that you want boundaries to be clarified ... have you ever considered having post-divorce counseling?

 

[talezman]

Our divorce papers say we are to see a mediator if we can't agree so I scheduled a session last week. Before I got the paperwork back with the date and times I got papers for a court case to reset parenting. I guess she wants to go to court instead.

 

[majomom1]

So? Maybe I ENJOY reporting threads. Did you ever think of THAT????

Actually... I did. You go girl!!!

Now report the glitch for me.... Please and thanks!

 

[LdiJ]

there have been countless events I haven't mentioned to my daughter because they were not held on my weekends. However, I was married to this person for 10 years and she never once went to church with me. I asked a few times but didn't want to push my beleafs on her so let it go. She said she wasn't brought up in church and feels out of place when she goes. I had no problem with that. However, when I take my daughter to church, which she loves by the way, and they announce an upcomming event that my daughter wants to go to, I simply ask my ex for the same respect I give her and let me take her. I grew up in this church and my daughter is as well. Why now would my ex feel so comfortable going to church? When my daughter had friends birthday parties, Rugrats on ice, her other grandmothers birthday party, an appointment to get her hair cut, help mommy pick out a new car, the list goes on and on, I let my ex pick her up and take her. Just a little respect for my ex and the simple fact that my daughter wanted to do something and I would not hold her back from it. Is it really too much to ask for the same respect in return? Or am I asking a bunch of mothers that feel fathers should have to give in and let the childs mother do as they please? It seems I have given plenty of my time to my ex and everyone in here thinks thats just the way it should be. If you were treated poorly by your childrens fathers thats not right, but hopefully, some day you will see that there actually are fathers out there that DO want the best for there kids and maybe mom isn't always a saint.

I certainly can understand your point of view when you express it like that.

However, that isn't how you expressed it before. How you expressed it before was that you didn't want mom to be present even for things that a court would consider to be neutral territory, and you wanted a "pittbull" attorney who would scare the heck out of mom to ensure the result you wanted...or in the alternative, you wanted full custody.

The reality of things is that there is not a whole lot of chance that a judge is going to restrict mom from being present at "neutral territory" stuff...that's reality....you are going to have to accept that....and there is absolutely no way that a judge would give you full custody over those kinds of issues....so that's an empty threat.

Personally, my ex was always welcome at any and all family events that included our daughter.....and chose to be present often.

 

[Ohiogal]

there have been countless events I haven't mentioned to my daughter because they were not held on my weekends.

And trying to guilt your daughter because she couldn't go because mom had her would be wrong. Good thing you didn't do that.

However, I was married to this person for 10 years and she never once went to church with me.

So?

I asked a few times but didn't want to push my beleafs on her so let it go. She said she wasn't brought up in church and feels out of place when she goes. I had no problem with that. However, when I take my daughter to church, which she loves by the way, and they announce an upcomming event that my daughter wants to go to, I simply ask my ex for the same respect I give her and let me take her.

You have NO RIGHT to ask for your ex's time. Your ex is doing you a HUGE favor by bringing your daughter on her weekends to events at your church.

I grew up in this church and my daughter is as well. Why now would my ex feel so comfortable going to church?

Maybe she is putting YOUR DAUGHTER'S needs first!

When my daughter had friends birthday parties, Rugrats on ice, her other grandmothers birthday party, an appointment to get her hair cut, help mommy pick out a new car, the list goes on and on, I let my ex pick her up and take her.

Goody for you. Did you buy a ticket to Rugrats on ice? YOu could have gone to the hair cut appointment or it could have been rescheduled. She didn't have to help mommy pick out a new car. The birthday parties are pretty big events though -- especially grandmother's birthdays.

Just a little respect for my ex and the simple fact that my daughter wanted to do something and I would not hold her back from it. Is it really too much to ask for the same respect in return?

Look you have a court order -- you can both follow it to the tee or you can work together. WHich she is trying to do. Maybe you should see the positives of this.

Or am I asking a bunch of mothers that feel fathers should have to give in and let the childs mother do as they please?

Do NOT even go there with me. Don't. Do you understand OHIO law? Do you understand the responsibilities of a parent and what the court views as important?

It seems I have given plenty of my time to my ex and everyone in here thinks thats just the way it should be. If you were treated poorly by your childrens fathers thats not right, but hopefully, some day you will see that there actually are fathers out there that DO want the best for there kids and maybe mom isn't always a saint.

No one said mom is a saint. However mom has a right to not allow the child to go to anything scheduled on her time. Mom however is taking steps to share events with her daughter that fall on her time> Get over it. This is NOT about you and it is not about your ex -- it is about your daughter. Quit the petty ass tit for tat and start looking at the fact that your daughter is extremely blessed that her mother who may not like the church wants to attend it on her time with the child. Because it is important to the child. In other words grow the hell up.

 

[Ohiogal]

Our divorce papers say we are to see a mediator if we can't agree so I scheduled a session last week. Before I got the paperwork back with the date and times I got papers for a court case to reset parenting. I guess she wants to go to court instead.

So you go to court and state that your divorce papers require mediation and ask the court to order it to mediation. You will get that. End of story. The only things not mediated are contempt and child support (financial) issues.

 

[talezman]

I may have expressed myself wrong at first. I have no problem with my ex being present for events that our daughter is preforming or a part of ( cheerleading, girl scouts, church play, etc..) I just ask for the same respect I give her with reguards to events where we are spending quality time with our daughter. I can't change everyone elses schedukes around my visitation, and wouldn't expect outside parties to think of my visitation schedule when planning an event. If I don't have my daughter, I simply don't tell her of those events. Her mother makes sure she knows of any event that she may want to go to no matter whose she is with and then plays the guilt game to get her there. But you are tight about me wanting a pittbull for an attorney. I don't want to take her mother away from her, but I want my ex to know that the games she is playing WILL STOP. If anyone has any better ideas than a pittbull to get the point accrost please let me know.

 

[Ohiogal]

I may have expressed myself wrong at first. I have no problem with my ex being present for events that our daughter is preforming or a part of ( cheerleading, girl scouts, church play, etc..) I just ask for the same respect I give her with reguards to events where we are spending quality time with our daughter. I can't change everyone elses schedukes around my visitation, and wouldn't expect outside parties to think of my visitation schedule when planning an event. If I don't have my daughter, I simply don't tell her of those events. Her mother makes sure she knows of any event that she may want to go to no matter whose she is with and then plays the guilt game to get her there. But you are tight about me wanting a pittbull for an attorney. I don't want to take her mother away from her, but I want my ex to know that the games she is playing WILL STOP. If anyone has any better ideas than a pittbull to get the point accrost please let me know.

What you do not understand is that you have not mentioned any games she is actually playing. Seriously. And the court is NOT going to look at it as a game. Your ex is making sure your daughter attends all the important events on her time by taking her. Why can't you understand that? Why can't you understand that Ohio courts don't care for parents going at each other -- and basically will blast the parents -- because the CHILD is who they feel is important. And your CHILD is benefiting. Swallow the pride. Swallow your discomfort and DEAL. If your ex were playing games she would be scheduling surgeries for your child without telling you, taking the child to doctors without telling you, changing her school without telling you, and EXCLUDING you from your daughter's life and excluding your daughter from important functions. She is doing the exact opposite by making sure you daughter is included -- even if that means she comes along.

 

[CJane]

I'm curious about what 'games' your ex is playing as well.