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custody and support questions

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brendans_mommy

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico, Fifth District


I just got back from the court house, I was picking up a copy of the motion my ex(Isaiah) filed in return to my petition for paternity, custody, and support. What is the difference between legal custody and physical custody? I understand that until a custody agreement is signed by a judge who ever is holding the child has physical custody, but is there more to it?


In his motion Isaiah has agreed to pay child support in the amount that is figured out by the child support worksheet our state website offers. I went through and input the info. and put him in a making minumum wage and it came to $325.00 a month. He wants the child support payments to start after the dna test proves he is the father. Needless to say he has agreed to the dna testing that I requested.


Isaiah want me to pay for all the costs for the dna testing and the expert witness fees. Should I ask the judge to split the costs equally between us? Im willing to pay half of the costs, but he doesnt want to help pay for anything except the child support the judge will order.



He also wants joint legal custody, which was the reason for my first question. I feel that he shouldnt have custody of any kind of our child. I have made all the major choices in reguards to the best interests of my son since before he was born, and I have done it all by myself. I dont feel he has earned that right. However I do want him to have visitation and to be able to see his son. But I have a fiance and he is graduating from Sam Houston State later this month. So with in the next year i will be moving to join him in Houston, Tx. Also with my fiance's condition (scleroderma) we have to live close to his doctors in Houston because he goes atleast once a month. I dont want him to be able to force me to stay in the state, how do i get around that?



We both agree that I will be the one to keep insurance on my son. I feel we should split the medical & dental bills not covered by insurance 50/50 but Isaiah feels I should pay for them all.


Then after the dna test proves he is the father I requested that my sons birth records be changed to show Isaiah as his father and give my son his last name. Isaiah doesnt want them to change the records.


So my question is what can I do about all of this?

Thank you for taking the time to read this any thing you can tell me would be great.
xoxoxo Kayla
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico, Fifth District


I just got back from the court house, I was picking up a copy of the motion my ex(Isaiah) filed in return to my petition for paternity, custody, and support. What is the difference between legal custody and physical custody? I understand that until a custody agreement is signed by a judge who ever is holding the child has physical custody, but is there more to it?
Legal custody is basically decision making rights. Physical custody is where the child resides. Because you are in an unwed situation, at the moment you have sole legal and physical custody.


In his motion Isaiah has agreed to pay child support in the amount that is figured out by the child support worksheet our state website offers. I went through and input the info. and put him in a making minumum wage and it came to $325.00 a month. He wants the child support payments to start after the dna test proves he is the father. Needless to say he has agreed to the dna testing that I requested.
Ok...that all sounds reasonable.

Isaiah want me to pay for all the costs for the dna testing and the expert witness fees. Should I ask the judge to split the costs equally between us? Im willing to pay half of the costs, but he doesnt want to help pay for anything except the child support the judge will order.
Why were you the one who requested the DNA test? Was it because he was refusing to admit that he was the father? Normally its dad that pays if the DNA test is because dad won't admit to being the father without one, and then its mom that pays if he turns out NOT to be the father.

He also wants joint legal custody, which was the reason for my first question. I feel that he shouldnt have custody of any kind of our child. I have made all the major choices in reguards to the best interests of my son since before he was born, and I have done it all by myself. I dont feel he has earned that right.
You are going to have to get over that one. Its virtually guaranteed that a judge will give him joint legal custody.

However I do want him to have visitation and to be able to see his son. But I have a fiance and he is graduating from Sam Houston State later this month. So with in the next year i will be moving to join him in Houston, Tx. Also with my fiance's condition (scleroderma) we have to live close to his doctors in Houston because he goes atleast once a month. I dont want him to be able to force me to stay in the state, how do i get around that?
You may not be able to get around that. You may not be able to move to Houston. Its not 100% guaranteed, but that is a bridge you will have to cross when you come to it.

We both agree that I will be the one to keep insurance on my son. I feel we should split the medical & dental bills not covered by insurance 50/50 but Isaiah feels I should pay for them all.
Dad won't get what he wants on that one.

Then after the dna test proves he is the father I requested that my sons birth records be changed to show Isaiah as his father and give my son his last name. Isaiah doesnt want them to change the records.
Dad won't have any choice about the birth records.
 

brendans_mommy

Junior Member
Why were you the one who requested the DNA test? Was it because he was refusing to admit that he was the father? Normally its dad that pays if the DNA test is because dad won't admit to being the father without one, and then its mom that pays if he turns out NOT to be the father.

I requested that a dna test be done cause the last time he seen my son he screamed and yelled at me saying it wasnt his kid and he wanted nothing to do with him. I know that my son is his son, no questions about it. he just refuses to do anything with out a dna test to prove it.




You may not be able to get around that. You may not be able to move to Houston. Its not 100% guaranteed, but that is a bridge you will have to cross when you come to it.

Okay i was reading another post yesterday and someone told the lady she could file a petition for permission to relocate.....does that apply in New Mexico as well? About moving to Houston, my fiance is sick he has a life threatening disease, we have to be close to doctos who can treat him, there arent any around here, we have looked. I would still be willing to work something out so Isaiah could see the baby.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Why were you the one who requested the DNA test? Was it because he was refusing to admit that he was the father? Normally its dad that pays if the DNA test is because dad won't admit to being the father without one, and then its mom that pays if he turns out NOT to be the father.

I requested that a dna test be done cause the last time he seen my son he screamed and yelled at me saying it wasnt his kid and he wanted nothing to do with him. I know that my son is his son, no questions about it. he just refuses to do anything with out a dna test to prove it.




You may not be able to get around that. You may not be able to move to Houston. Its not 100% guaranteed, but that is a bridge you will have to cross when you come to it.

Okay i was reading another post yesterday and someone told the lady she could file a petition for permission to relocate.....does that apply in New Mexico as well? About moving to Houston, my fiance is sick he has a life threatening disease, we have to be close to doctos who can treat him, there arent any around here, we have looked. I would still be willing to work something out so Isaiah could see the baby.

You can move. Your fiance can move. The court would have to approve your moving with the baby. Especially if dad doesn't agree. And dad will get legal custody (joint) most likely. You made all the decisions but you were the only one with a legal right to make any decisions.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
Why were you the one who requested the DNA test? Was it because he was refusing to admit that he was the father? Normally its dad that pays if the DNA test is because dad won't admit to being the father without one, and then its mom that pays if he turns out NOT to be the father.

I requested that a dna test be done cause the last time he seen my son he screamed and yelled at me saying it wasnt his kid and he wanted nothing to do with him. I know that my son is his son, no questions about it. he just refuses to do anything with out a dna test to prove it.




You may not be able to get around that. You may not be able to move to Houston. Its not 100% guaranteed, but that is a bridge you will have to cross when you come to it.

Okay i was reading another post yesterday and someone told the lady she could file a petition for permission to relocate.....does that apply in New Mexico as well? About moving to Houston, my fiance is sick he has a life threatening disease, we have to be close to doctos who can treat him, there arent any around here, we have looked. I would still be willing to work something out so Isaiah could see the baby.
because your fiance does not matter. take the fiance out of the picture. "poof* he doesn't exist. now argue why you want to move the child from the father.
 

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