Custody battle over a move

[makaykaysmama]

What is the name of your state? Maine

My husband of 2 years and I got divorced in November of 07 and agreed on joint custody and shared primary residence. I am now planning to move 45 minutes away to go back to college and he is threatening to take me to court and take my 3 year old daughter from me because of it. He spent the first 2 1/2 years of her life in prison and sees her only a couple of times a month now as it is. He says because he has no license or vehicle that it isnt reasonable for me to move so far away. He is claiming that he has all kinds of things to use against me in court but the truth of the matter is that my daughter has been with me every day of her life and I truly believe it would be severely emotionally damaging to her to be away from me..(.he is also threatening to not give her back if she comes for visits)--And we were just in court a few months ago for the divorce and custody agreement..if he thought I was a bad mother why didn't he bring it up then. My whole life revolves around my child and I know that he is not concerned with her best interest..only in hurting me. I guess what I am wondering is what kinds of things should I be aware of when I go to court and how can I prevent him from taking my child from me?---He is the type of person to lie cheat and steal to get his way and I am scared that he will make things up (he has also said he has people to go to court for him--but friends will lie too)-just to make things worse.I have saved the text messages that he has sent me (he refuses to talk to me on the phone like an adult) where he is calling me names and making threats about not giving her back---.please help!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Maine

My husband of 2 years and I got divorced in November of 07 and agreed on joint custody and shared primary residence.

Okay.

I am now planning to move 45 minutes away to go back to college

And how will that interfere with dad's time? Who is going to provide the additional transportatioN? Why can't you commute 45 minutes to college?

and he is threatening to take me to court and take my 3 year old daughter from me because of it.

Your three year old daughter? Did you hatch her? Or is she also dad's daughter?

He spent the first 2 1/2 years of her life in prison and sees her only a couple of times a month now as it is.

His time in prison doesn't matter because you still thought it appropriate to have shared custody.

He says because he has no license or vehicle that it isnt reasonable for me to move so far away.

And that is a very good point. Are you going to provide all transportation so that the child can still spend court ordered time with dad?

He is claiming that he has all kinds of things to use against me in court but the truth of the matter is that my daughter has been with me every day of her life and I truly believe it would be severely emotionally damaging to her to be away from me..(.

I believe the moon is made of green cheese. Your prove your belief and I will prove mine. Okay?

he is also threatening to not give her back if she comes for visits)--

And until he follows through on that you have nothing.

And we were just in court a few months ago for the divorce and custody agreement..

So the only change would be you moving correct?

if he thought I was a bad mother why didn't he bring it up then.

Why are you bringing up the stuff that doesn't matter? Like the fact that he doesn't have a license and such. If that mattered to his parenting you would have had an issue with it a few months ago.

My whole life revolves around my child and I know that he is not concerned with her best interest..only in hurting me.

You are lying. YOUR WHOLE LIFE does NOT revolve around your child. That is a flat out lie. Quite frankly if it was you would need severe help. YOu would also not be moving to go to school. And if you knew he was not concerned with her best interest, you are a neglectful parent for agreeing to joint custody.

I guess what I am wondering is what kinds of things should I be aware of when I go to court and how can I prevent him from taking my child from me?---

You need to be aware that this child is NOT just YOUR child. And you are trying to take HIS child away from him.

He is the type of person to lie cheat and steal to get his way and I am scared that he will make things up

And you thought him appropriate to have joint custody with -- just a few months ago apparnetly -- and create a child with.

(he has also said he has people to go to court for him--but friends will lie too)-

So will mothers.

just to make things worse.I have saved the text messages that he has sent me (he refuses to talk to me on the phone like an adult) where he is calling me names and making threats about not giving her back---.please help!

Answer my questions. How are you going to handle transportation? How are you not taking his child away from him if you move? Why is he SUDDENLY a horrible awful person when just a few months ago he was appropriate to have shared legal and physical custody?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Maine

My husband of 2 years and I got divorced in November of 07 and agreed on joint custody and shared primary residence. I am now planning to move 45 minutes away to go back to college and he is threatening to take me to court and take my 3 year old daughter from me because of it. He spent the first 2 1/2 years of her life in prison and sees her only a couple of times a month now as it is. He says because he has no license or vehicle that it isnt reasonable for me to move so far away. He is claiming that he has all kinds of things to use against me in court but the truth of the matter is that my daughter has been with me every day of her life and I truly believe it would be severely emotionally damaging to her to be away from me..(.he is also threatening to not give her back if she comes for visits)--And we were just in court a few months ago for the divorce and custody agreement..if he thought I was a bad mother why didn't he bring it up then. My whole life revolves around my child and I know that he is not concerned with her best interest..only in hurting me. I guess what I am wondering is what kinds of things should I be aware of when I go to court and how can I prevent him from taking my child from me?---He is the type of person to lie cheat and steal to get his way and I am scared that he will make things up (he has also said he has people to go to court for him--but friends will lie too)-just to make things worse.I have saved the text messages that he has sent me (he refuses to talk to me on the phone like an adult) where he is calling me names and making threats about not giving her back---.please help!

If you can honor the existing parenting schedule, and provide all of the transportation to do so, you would probably be given permission by the court to move 45 minutes away. If you cannot, then you probably need to plan to commute to school, or start thinking about other creative ways to manage your situation.