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Custody Dispute

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melissa__46

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ALABAMA
I am going thru a child custody battle. I have 2 kids 3 and 5. My husband is trying to gain full custody of our children with me having NO visitation rights, because I have dated 2 ppl in the year we have been seperated. This is the only thing he has to stand on. I dont drink, do drugs,smoke, nothing. I dont know the laws in Alabama about dating while seperated. Does he have a case? Will I lose my kids?
 


wnbama

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ALABAMA
I am going thru a child custody battle. I have 2 kids 3 and 5. My husband is trying to gain full custody of our children with me having NO visitation rights, because I have dated 2 ppl in the year we have been seperated. This is the only thing he has to stand on. I dont drink, do drugs,smoke, nothing. I dont know the laws in Alabama about dating while seperated. Does he have a case? Will I lose my kids?
Go tell your STBX to pound sand! ;)

MARITAL AND DOMESTIC RELATIONS laws in Alabama:
Alabama Title 30 — MARITAL AND DOMESTIC RELATIONS. - Alabama Code - Alabama Law - Alabama Statutes :: Justia

How long have you been separated and has the paperwork been started?
 

melissa__46

Junior Member
I am going to a lawyer Monday. We have been seprated for a year and I will start the paperwork monday. I have bent over backwards to work with him but he is convinced he will get full custody on the grounds I have dated 2 people.....grr its frustrating.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I am going to a lawyer Monday. We have been seprated for a year and I will start the paperwork monday. I have bent over backwards to work with him but he is convinced he will get full custody on the grounds I have dated 2 people.....grr its frustrating.
He is living in fantasyland.
 

wnbama

Member
Just pure curosity, who left whom?

What was the REAL reason?

Also, in this year that ya'll have been separated has he not dated anyone at all?

Here are your/his choices for grounds of divorce in Alabama:

Section 30-2-1 — Grounds; jurisdiction for proceedings; divorce judgment awarded to both parties. - Alabama Section 30-2-1 — Grounds; jurisdiction for proceedings; divorce judgment awarded to both parties. - Alabama Code :: Justia

Section 30-2-1 — Grounds; jurisdiction for proceedings; divorce judgment awarded to both parties.

(a) The circuit court has power to divorce persons from the bonds of matrimony, upon a complaint filed by one of the parties, entitled "In re the marriage of _____ and _____," for the causes following:

(1) In favor of either party, when the other was, at the time of the marriage physically and incurably incapacitated from entering into the marriage state.

(2) For adultery.

(3) For voluntary abandonment from bed and board for one year next preceding the filing of the complaint.

(4) Imprisonment in the penitentiary of this or any other state for two years, the sentence being for seven years or longer.

(5) The commission of the crime against nature, whether with mankind or beast, either before or after marriage.

(6) For becoming addicted after marriage to habitual drunkenness or to habitual use of opium, morphine, cocaine or other like drug.

One of the common used in Alabama:
(7) Upon application of either the husband or wife, when the court is satisfied from all the testimony in the case that there exists such a complete incompatibility of temperament that the parties can no longer live together.
(8) In favor of either party, when the other, after marriage, shall have been confined in a mental hospital for a period of five successive years, if such party from whom a divorce is sought is hopelessly and incurably insane at the time of the filing of the complaint; provided, however, that the superintendent of the mental hospital in which such person is confined shall make a certified statement, under oath, that it is his opinion and belief, after a complete and full study and examination of such person, that such person is hopelessly and incurably insane.

Another common used in Alabama:
(9) Upon application of either party, when the court finds there has been an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage and that further attempts at reconciliation are impractical or futile and not in the best interests of the parties or family.


(10) In favor of the husband, when the wife was pregnant at the time of marriage, without his knowledge or agency.

(11) In favor of either party to the marriage when the other has committed actual violence on his or her person, attended with danger to life or health, or when from his or her conduct there is reasonable apprehension of such violence.

(12) In favor of the wife when the wife has lived, or shall have lived separate and apart from the bed and board of the husband for two years and without support from him for two years next preceding the filing of the complaint, and she has bona fide resided in this state during said period.

(b) When a judgment of divorce is entered, in effect, it is awarded to both parties to the marriage.

(Code 1852, §§1961-1963; Code 1867, §§2351-2353; Code 1876, §§2685-2687; Code 1886, §§2322-2324; Code 1896, §§1485-1487; Code 1907, §§3793-3795; Acts 1919, No. 584, p. 839; Acts 1919, No. 631, p. 878; Code 1923, §§7407-7409; Acts 1932, Ex. Sess., No. 41, p. 52; Acts 1933, Ex. Sess., No. 153, p. 142; Acts 1936-37, Ex. Sess., No. 211, p. 247; Code 1940, T. 34, §§20-22; Acts 1943, No. 463, p. 425; Acts 1947, No. 487, p. 336; Acts 1971, No. 222, p. 517; Acts 1971, No. 2272, p. 3662, §§1, 2.)
 

melissa__46

Junior Member
After 3 and half years I left him, which is why he is so bitter. He hasnt dated anyone and his parents forbid him. Which is the main reason I finally left. His Dad is a religious fanatic, and he couldnt or rather wouldnt get out from under his dads thumb. We lived on thier property and we couldnt so much as plant a flower without thier approval, couldnt buy groceries unless they knew about it or have someone over they didnt know. Everything we did was a sin. And the reason he wants full custody is his father has convinced him that divorce is an abomination unto God and I am going to hell. And they are for real. They really think that. His Dad has convinced him that he will get the kids on this and this alone. I have never drank, never done drugs, never smoked, never left my kids with anyone to go out, nothing that would endanger my kids at all. But I have dated 2 people. Thats what he is biulding his whole case on. I dont know enough about law to know if that matters or not.
I am filing on the common cause of irreconsilbile (sp) differences.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
After 3 and half years I left him, which is why he is so bitter. He hasnt dated anyone and his parents forbid him. Which is the main reason I finally left. His Dad is a religious fanatic, and he couldnt or rather wouldnt get out from under his dads thumb. We lived on thier property and we couldnt so much as plant a flower without thier approval, couldnt buy groceries unless they knew about it or have someone over they didnt know. Everything we did was a sin. And the reason he wants full custody is his father has convinced him that divorce is an abomination unto God and I am going to hell. And they are for real. They really think that. His Dad has convinced him that he will get the kids on this and this alone. I have never drank, never done drugs, never smoked, never left my kids with anyone to go out, nothing that would endanger my kids at all. But I have dated 2 people. Thats what he is biulding his whole case on. I dont know enough about law to know if that matters or not.
I am filing on the common cause of irreconsilbile (sp) differences.
Again, both dad and his father are living in fantasyland. It is completely irrelevant that you have dated.
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
After 3 and half years I left him, which is why he is so bitter. He hasnt dated anyone and his parents forbid him. Which is the main reason I finally left. His Dad is a religious fanatic, and he couldnt or rather wouldnt get out from under his dads thumb. We lived on thier property and we couldnt so much as plant a flower without thier approval, couldnt buy groceries unless they knew about it or have someone over they didnt know. Everything we did was a sin. And the reason he wants full custody is his father has convinced him that divorce is an abomination unto God and I am going to hell. And they are for real. They really think that. His Dad has convinced him that he will get the kids on this and this alone. I have never drank, never done drugs, never smoked, never left my kids with anyone to go out, nothing that would endanger my kids at all. But I have dated 2 people. Thats what he is biulding his whole case on. I dont know enough about law to know if that matters or not.
I am filing on the common cause of irreconsilbile (sp) differences.
Where are the children right now? Who is caring for them? How are they currently being supported?

To get sole custody and for you to get no visitation rights, he would have to prove you unfit and a danger to the children. That is VERY difficult to prove. Especially if the kiddos are with you right now.
 

melissa__46

Junior Member
The kids are with me, he gets them thursday and friday each with, well his parents get them. The rest of the time they are with me. We have been seperated for a year and he hasnt helped me financially one time, our daughter just started kindergarten, he didnt buy school clothes, nothing. She is actually going to school closer to him because thats where he wanted her to go and I have tried to be as nice as can be. I drive her 45 miles one way Mon, Tues and Wed. His mom drives her 15 miles, thurs and fri, when they take her. I have gotten her attendance record. Its kindergarten and she has been in for 2 months and she has been tardy, absent or checked out early 6 times, all when she was with them. It can very easily be proven that I am the one who is primarily taking care of them. I really think the person who said he is just crying wolf to scare me is probably right, I certainly hope that is the case. I will know more Monday when I meet with the lawyer, but I really appreciate everyones help!
 

Isis1

Senior Member
After 3 and half years I left him, which is why he is so bitter. He hasnt dated anyone and his parents forbid him. Which is the main reason I finally left. His Dad is a religious fanatic, and he couldnt or rather wouldnt get out from under his dads thumb. We lived on thier property and we couldnt so much as plant a flower without thier approval, couldnt buy groceries unless they knew about it or have someone over they didnt know. Everything we did was a sin. And the reason he wants full custody is his father has convinced him that divorce is an abomination unto God and I am going to hell. And they are for real. They really think that. His Dad has convinced him that he will get the kids on this and this alone. I have never drank, never done drugs, never smoked, never left my kids with anyone to go out, nothing that would endanger my kids at all. But I have dated 2 people. Thats what he is biulding his whole case on. I dont know enough about law to know if that matters or not.
I am filing on the common cause of irreconsilbile (sp) differences.
i'm so sorry, but people like dad and grandpa really make me laugh. i say let dad be, let him walk into court with that arguement. i'm sure the courtroom staff could use a good laugh.:eek:
 

wnbama

Member
After 3 and half years I left him, which is why he is so bitter. He hasnt dated anyone and his parents forbid him. Which is the main reason I finally left. His Dad is a religious fanatic, and he couldnt or rather wouldnt get out from under his dads thumb. We lived on thier property and we couldnt so much as plant a flower without thier approval, couldnt buy groceries unless they knew about it or have someone over they didnt know. Everything we did was a sin. And the reason he wants full custody is his father has convinced him that divorce is an abomination unto God and I am going to hell. And they are for real. They really think that. His Dad has convinced him that he will get the kids on this and this alone. I have never drank, never done drugs, never smoked, never left my kids with anyone to go out, nothing that would endanger my kids at all. But I have dated 2 people. Thats what he is biulding his whole case on. I dont know enough about law to know if that matters or not.
I am filing on the common cause of irreconsilbile (sp) differences.
OP, please let me know what county courthouse this case will be in so I can be there to laugh with you! :p We are in the "bible belt" but com'on there is no way a Judge is going to give him SOLE CUSTODY for those reasons alone.

Here is some reading for you. YOu really need to get this paperwork moving and get Dad served, ASAP!

Section 30-3-1 — Custody and education of children upon grant of divorce; custody of children where wife abandons husband. - Alabama Section 30-3-1 — Custody and education of children upon grant of divorce; custody of children where wife

Section 30-3-1 — Custody and education of children upon grant of divorce; custody of children where wife abandons husband.

Upon granting a divorce, the court may give the custody and education of the children of the marriage to either father or mother, as may seem right and proper, having regard to the moral character and prudence of the parents and the age and sex of the children; and pending the action, may make such orders in respect to the custody of the children as their safety and well-being may require. But in cases of abandonment of the husband by the wife, he shall have the custody of the children after they are seven years of age, if he is a suitable person to have such charge.

(Code 1852, §1977; Code 1867, §2367; Code 1876, §2701; Code 1886, §2338; Code 1896, §1501; Code 1907, §3808; Code 1923, §7422; Code 1940, T. 34, §35.)


Section 30-3-151 — Definitions. - Alabama Section 30-3-151 — Definitions. - Alabama Code :: Justia

Section 30-3-151 — Definitions.

(1) JOINT CUSTODY. Joint legal custody and joint physical custody.

(2) JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY. Both parents have equal rights and responsibilities for major decisions concerning the child, including, but not limited to, the education of the child, health care, and religious training. The court may designate one parent to have sole power to make certain decisions while both parents retain equal rights and responsibilities for other decisions.

(3) JOINT PHYSICAL CUSTODY. Physical custody is shared by the parents in a way that assures the child frequent and substantial contact with each parent. Joint physical custody does not necessarily mean physical custody of equal durations of time.

(4) SOLE LEGAL CUSTODY. One parent has sole rights and responsibilities to make major decisions concerning the child, including, but not limited to, the education of the child, health care, and religious training.

(5) SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY. One parent has sole physical custody and the other parent has rights of visitation except as otherwise provided by the court.

(Acts 1996, No. 96-520, p. 666, §2.)
 

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