Custody issues for my brother

[backontrack]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

I have a younger brother who is 34. He lives with his children's mother. Not because he wants to be with her, but because he believes it is best for his two girls.

The mother has a touch of the "crazies" shall we say. She treats the youngest, who is 4, like she is a golden child. Constantly telling her how much she loves her, how precious she is, wonderful, etc. While the 11 year old is told she is worthless, how her mother wishes she had never been born, how she is stupid and dumb just like her father and his family, and every other possible horrible thing that you can say to a child. I have even heard the mother threaten to kill her if she did not get out of her face (the mothers)

The mother lies and has broken ties with nearly every other person in our family and is no longer welcomed at my mothers home for a variety of reasons, lying, cheating, stealing, to name a few.

My father died on December 20th, 2004. The mother of my brothers children called my mother today and told her enough is enough and to get over it, it has been long enough. (My brother has been splitting his time between our mother's home and being at home with his kids, quite often the girls go to grandmas with him). Before my brother brought the oldest girl today, the mother told her that she shouldn't go because everyone at grandmas hated the 11 year old and that the 11 year old was not welcomed at grandmas by any of the family. (WHAT A WITCH) Which of course is untrue. Hopefully in talking with her today she realizes how much we all love and care about her.

The mother of my brother's children is supposed to be on medication to help control her mood swings. However, she got fired from her job and chose to take another job that does not offer insurance benefits and cannot afford her medications.

Anyway, my question is this..I am a mandated reporter. Is this child abuse that should be reported? Does my brother have a snowballs chance of getting full custody of the girls with the two of them not being married?

Any advise will be appreciated.
Thanks

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

I have a younger brother who is 34. He lives with his children's mother. Not because he wants to be with her, but because he believes it is best for his two girls.

The mother has a touch of the "crazies" shall we say. She treats the youngest, who is 4, like she is a golden child. Constantly telling her how much she loves her, how precious she is, wonderful, etc. While the 11 year old is told she is worthless, how her mother wishes she had never been born, how she is stupid and dumb just like her father and his family, and every other possible horrible thing that you can say to a child. I have even heard the mother threaten to kill her if she did not get out of her face (the mothers)

The mother lies and has broken ties with nearly every other person in our family and is no longer welcomed at my mothers home for a variety of reasons, lying, cheating, stealing, to name a few.

My father died on December 20th, 2004. The mother of my brothers children called my mother today and told her enough is enough and to get over it, it has been long enough. (My brother has been splitting his time between our mother's home and being at home with his kids, quite often the girls go to grandmas with him). Before my brother brought the oldest girl today, the mother told her that she shouldn't go because everyone at grandmas hated the 11 year old and that the 11 year old was not welcomed at grandmas by any of the family. (WHAT A WITCH) Which of course is untrue. Hopefully in talking with her today she realizes how much we all love and care about her.

The mother of my brother's children is supposed to be on medication to help control her mood swings. However, she got fired from her job and chose to take another job that does not offer insurance benefits and cannot afford her medications.

Anyway, my question is this..I am a mandated reporter. Is this child abuse that should be reported? Does my brother have a snowballs chance of getting full custody of the girls with the two of them not being married?

Any advise will be appreciated.
Thanks

If you think the child is being abused- you should report it. I think threatening to kill a child is considered abuse- emotional if not possibly physical.

Report the situation.

Your brother should seek counseling ASAP for the 11 year old, that's not only a delicate time in a child's emotional development- it's a horrible (sounding) situation to be in.

If your brother files for custody, he should ask that a GAL, CASA or minor's attorney be appointed to look out for the best interests of the child. Possibly request a psychiatric evaluation on the mother. If she is diagnosed with a personality disorder or mental illness and is not taking her medicine, this will come out and affect the outcome of custody.

What concerns me about YOU is that you didnt' report this sooner- but waited until your family and brother said enough is enough. A mandated reporter must report immediately. Learn from this oversight.

 

[backontrack]

Thank you for your response. I called the police in their county immediately when I overheard the mother make the killing statement. I explained to them what had happened and asked them to do a welfare check on my nieces. (I live about an hour away)
The police called me back and told me that she had left the home and went to work and the girls were safe. I asked them about reporting to CPS, and they told me since the girls were OK, that I did not need to. So I have been going from that.
After today though, I am not sure...I feel the 11 year old is being severely emotionally abused.
This woman is about twice the size of my brother and has a history of battery on him. I am also worried for his safety if I report. I guess he is an adult and can take care of himself, I need to report for the girls sake.

 

[backontrack]

One more thing. I don't think I explained it very well. It was the "crazy" woman that called my mother and told her enough is enough and that it was time for her to be done grieving for her husband of nearly 40 years. After just 3 short weeks.