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custody modification

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imjustacountryg

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Washington
Uncontested divorce was final in 1998. Three children, now 17, 14, & 12. Dad was (is) alcoholic, drug addict, physically & emotionally abusive to myself & the children, especially our son. Dad agreed in the parenting plan 1) his visits would be supervised by myself (unobtrusively, but for moral support of kids who were afraid of him) 2) dad would attend parenting classes, anger management, and drug & alcohol rehabilitation 3) if dad didn't maintain consistent contact with the children, he would relinquish all parental rights. He has seen the kids 4 times since the separation in 1997. We have had no contact with him since June of 1999.
Court facilitator has reviewed my paperwork for a pro se custody modification including a legal last name change, and says I should have no problems except to serve him. She said a judge probably won't to agree to service by mail unless personal service has at least been attempted. I don't know his exact whereabouts, he has no permanent residence. I probably could get ahold of him through his family, and get him to agree to a meeting, BUT...he is heavily into meth, (according to his sister he has been "cooking" for the past couple years) and always carries a gun. I know he has a warrant now for failure to appear on a charge of reckless discharge of a weapon & possession of a controlled substance. He will no way admit who he is to a process server, much less the law...he's been that route too many times. I am afraid to have someone I know agree to meet him to give him bad news...he was not very level-headed 6 years ago, and I can only imagine that the situation has gotten worse for him. Any ideas on how to get these papers served?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
imjustacountryg said:
What is the name of your state? Washington
Uncontested divorce was final in 1998. Three children, now 17, 14, & 12. Dad was (is) alcoholic, drug addict, physically & emotionally abusive to myself & the children, especially our son. Dad agreed in the parenting plan 1) his visits would be supervised by myself (unobtrusively, but for moral support of kids who were afraid of him) 2) dad would attend parenting classes, anger management, and drug & alcohol rehabilitation 3) if dad didn't maintain consistent contact with the children, he would relinquish all parental rights. He has seen the kids 4 times since the separation in 1997. We have had no contact with him since June of 1999.
Court facilitator has reviewed my paperwork for a pro se custody modification including a legal last name change, and says I should have no problems except to serve him. She said a judge probably won't to agree to service by mail unless personal service has at least been attempted. I don't know his exact whereabouts, he has no permanent residence. I probably could get ahold of him through his family, and get him to agree to a meeting, BUT...he is heavily into meth, (according to his sister he has been "cooking" for the past couple years) and always carries a gun. I know he has a warrant now for failure to appear on a charge of reckless discharge of a weapon & possession of a controlled substance. He will no way admit who he is to a process server, much less the law...he's been that route too many times. I am afraid to have someone I know agree to meet him to give him bad news...he was not very level-headed 6 years ago, and I can only imagine that the situation has gotten worse for him. Any ideas on how to get these papers served?
If he has left you alone since 1999, why are you even rocking the boat?
 

imjustacountryg

Junior Member
thanks for the reply. i'm not too worried about him, but my 12 yo daughter has had a series of anxiety attacks and nightmares revolving around our past. she has asked me to make sure that he can't come around her. we've notified the schools, etc, but this would be something that she could hold in her hand. she had actually asked for a no contact order - that's not going to happen. i've told her that i wouldn't let him near her no matter what the court order says, but she would really like that piece of paper that says he can't...it would only be for her peace of mind. she's been in counseling, and has gone through some post-traumatic stress syndrome treatment, and is doing much better, but i think this would help with the nightmares.
 

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