Custody of Children

[Horshu]

I live in Illinois. My wife approached me about a month ago with the bombshell that she wanted to get a divorce. I was very surprised to say the least! I had always made it a priority to be a good husband and father. I have been the primary caretaker of our three children (ages 2,4,5), since her active duty military career keeps her away from home some 10-12 weeks a year. Despite all of my efforts to change her mind she stands firm on divorcing. My question is in regards to custody of the children. Is there any possible way in which I could be granted custody of the children? I have seen very few instances where the father is awarded custody. Will her active duty status affect the legal judgement in any way? This will be her third divorce by the age of 30 (only children from our marriage of six years). Might this be a factor. I had planned on being married to only one person in my entire life, and am afraid that if the children are awarded to her, they will have to suffer through additional failed relationships in her life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

[jlt0617]

I live in Illinois. My question is in regards to custody of the children. Is there any possible way in which I could be granted custody of the children?

I'm not an expert, but from what I hear and read, unless you can prove that she is an unfit mother (very hard to do) changes are no. I would go for joint custody and at least agree to having the children the 10-12 weeks that she is gone. I don't believe the courts would determine custody by how many times someone has been married, as long as she doesn't neglect or abuse her children.

 

[Grandma B]

You have every right to ask for custody--doesn't mean you'll get it, but you surely won't get it if you don't ask for it either. The decision should not be based on whether mother is unfit, but rather on what is in the children's best interest. Find a good Family Law attorney and go for it. Good luck!

 

[LegalBeagle]

I live in Illinois. My wife approached me about a month ago with the bombshell that she wanted to get a divorce. I was very surprised to say the least! I had always made it a priority to be a good husband and father. I have been the primary caretaker of our three children (ages 2,4,5), since her active duty military career keeps her away from home some 10-12 weeks a year. Despite all of my efforts to change her mind she stands firm on divorcing. My question is in regards to custody of the children. Is there any possible way in which I could be granted custody of the children? I have seen very few instances where the father is awarded custody. Will her active duty status affect the legal judgement in any way? This will be her third divorce by the age of 30 (only children from our marriage of six years). Might this be a factor. I had planned on being married to only one person in my entire life, and am afraid that if the children are awarded to her, they will have to suffer through additional failed relationships in her life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Yes, you have every right to ask for custody and with the limited details above, there is a 50/50 chance you will get it. Much more than the odds 10 years ago. As already suggested, you need to get an attorney. If you are at home with the children, it will increase your chances if you remain with them as opposed to leaving.