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Custody of Grandchild

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mzlisatx

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I need advice on how to proceed. My 16 month old grandson has been living with me for about 5 weeks now. This is the child of my oldest son, who is incarcerated till April of 09. The child mother asked me to keep him till she could get adequate transportation, which she has but has come to see the baby three times in the 5 weeks i've had him. I had to argue with her to take him to the doctor when he became ill and also argued that she needed to pick him up, even if just for the day, to spend time with him. Her response to me was "My life is to busy right now and his father will have custody when he gets out so he should just stay with me till then." This was all sent in a text messages, which i still have. Now i have the medical power of attorney which allows me to seek medical attention for him but shouldnt i have something else? I have no problem raising my grandson till my son is able to do so. The mother has taken to the party life and doesnt seem to want to be bothered raising her kids right now. I just dont want her to be able to disrupt the routine we are getting him accustomed to or just come and take him away when she feels like it. My best interest is the baby. What do i do?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I need advice on how to proceed. My 16 month old grandson has been living with me for about 5 weeks now. This is the child of my oldest son, who is incarcerated till April of 09. The child mother asked me to keep him till she could get adequate transportation, which she has but has come to see the baby three times in the 5 weeks i've had him. I had to argue with her to take him to the doctor when he became ill and also argued that she needed to pick him up, even if just for the day, to spend time with him. Her response to me was "My life is to busy right now and his father will have custody when he gets out so he should just stay with me till then." This was all sent in a text messages, which i still have. Now i have the medical power of attorney which allows me to seek medical attention for him but shouldnt i have something else? I have no problem raising my grandson till my son is able to do so. The mother has taken to the party life and doesnt seem to want to be bothered raising her kids right now. I just dont want her to be able to disrupt the routine we are getting him accustomed to or just come and take him away when she feels like it. My best interest is the baby. What do i do?
You could ask the mother, and your son, to voluntarily give you legal guardianship. How long is your son going to be in prison?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
You could ask the mother, and your son, to voluntarily give you legal guardianship. How long is your son going to be in prison?
She said:
This is the child of my oldest son, who is incarcerated till April of 09.
Don't you hate when you miss that? I do it too. Guardianship would be the best route to take. it is not permanent but it would give her decision making ability.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
She said:


Don't you hate when you miss that? I do it too. Guardianship would be the best route to take. it is not permanent but it would give her decision making ability.
Yes, I hate it when I miss stuff like that.

If dad is getting out in 6-7 months, and the child is only 16 months old, and she has a medical POA, I am not sure that guardianship is necessary. I still think its a good idea, but I don't think its an absolute necessity.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Yes, I hate it when I miss stuff like that.

If dad is getting out in 6-7 months, and the child is only 16 months old, and she has a medical POA, I am not sure that guardianship is necessary. I still think its a good idea, but I don't think its an absolute necessity.
I don't necessarily think it is an absolute necessity either but out of the legal options of custody or guardianship, guardianship would be the way to go.
HOWEVER, is dad LEGALLY dad?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I don't necessarily think it is an absolute necessity either but out of the legal options of custody or guardianship, guardianship would be the way to go.
HOWEVER, is dad LEGALLY dad?
Good point...I hadn't thought of that.
 

mzlisatx

Junior Member
good question

you know... we dont honestly know if he is the father... she is married but been seperated for some time. there was a short time that she split up with my son and went back to her ex but she swears she did the math and that my son is definately the father. i spoke with my son about a paternity test and he wont have it. he says he doesnt care at this point and that the baby is his, regardless. actually none of us care either, we really love this baby and would hurt terribly if he was taken away. i do think he should find out cause the baby does have a right to know for the future. i'm just worried and dont want this girl taking him back when it's conveniant for her. i just feel if i'm going to raise him i should have some sort of rights and some say so. do i need to get a lawyer for this? of course money is an issue for me right now
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
actually none of us care either,
You guys might want to start caring. If she gave birth while she was still married, her husband is the legal father of this child......

Even if she was seperated

Even if she hadn't seen him in years and years

Even if she doesn't know where he is right now

Even if she slept with your son daily from the time she met him until he became incarcerated,

Even if... a child born of a marriage is legally the child of the husband and wife of that marriage.
 

mzlisatx

Junior Member
yep

yes she is legally married to another man when the child was born. they had been seperated for a while and were not together when she got with my son. they father wouldnt sign the waiver when the baby is born but says he will when my son is out.

I just want to protect my grandson. i love him and love caring and raising him but i am putting in a lot of my time and money being that she sent him to me with but a handful of clothes and nothing else. i dont ask her for money nor does she offer. and money isnt what i am after. I dont want to raise this child then months or years from now she can just yank him away when she feels like it.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
yes she is legally married to another man when the child was born. they had been seperated for a while and were not together when she got with my son. they father wouldnt sign the waiver when the baby is born but says he will when my son is out.
Sorry but a paternity test WILL have to be performed when you son gets out of jail.

I just want to protect my grandson.
This child is LEGALLY NOT YOUR GRANDSON.

i love him and love caring and raising him but i am putting in a lot of my time and money being that she sent him to me with but a handful of clothes and nothing else. i dont ask her for money nor does she offer. and money isnt what i am after. I dont want to raise this child then months or years from now she can just yank him away when she feels like it.
And she can because your SON is nothing to this child and YOU are nothing to this child. The only people who have rights to this child are the woman AND her husband. Unless your son decides to grow up and petition the court to establish paternity he will NEVER be this child's father.
 

janM

Member
Could she file for guardianship as an interested third party, since mom has left the baby in her care and has said she wants the child to be with her?
 

Isis1

Senior Member
paternity STILL would need to be established, mom and dad would both have to sign in agreement. the maternal grandparents might also need to be notified, depending on TX statuates.

once those steps are taken, "grandma" should file for support from BOTH parents.
 

CJane

Senior Member
I'm not going to go searching far and wide right this minute, but I'm 99% sure that in TX, the only person that can file to disestablish paternity is the presumed Father. Which means, if I'm right, that only the Mother's HUSBAND can file anything legally at this point.

This alleged Grandmother has no standing as she's not the actual grandmother. Incarcerated Daddy is going to have a hard time filing anything if he can't disestablish paternity in order to establish himself, and Mom can't sign over custody/guardianship of the Baby w/out the permission of the Baby's Legal Father, which is Mom's HUSBAND, not Mom's incarcerated bed-warmer.

Also, is NO ONE just a little curious WHY Alleged Daddy is incarcerated?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I'm not going to go searching far and wide right this minute, but I'm 99% sure that in TX, the only person that can file to disestablish paternity is the presumed Father. Which means, if I'm right, that only the Mother's HUSBAND can file anything legally at this point.

This alleged Grandmother has no standing as she's not the actual grandmother. Incarcerated Daddy is going to have a hard time filing anything if he can't disestablish paternity in order to establish himself, and Mom can't sign over custody/guardianship of the Baby w/out the permission of the Baby's Legal Father, which is Mom's HUSBAND, not Mom's incarcerated bed-warmer.

Also, is NO ONE just a little curious WHY Alleged Daddy is incarcerated?
Well it is for a felony. I can just about pretty much guarantee that. I am curious but since it was not really relevant at this juncture, I didn't bother asking.
 

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