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Custody of Grandchildren

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Junior Member
What is the name of your state? MN

Sorry I accidently closed the thread:

I really need some help on this**************..
The story - My stepdaughter (she is 27, her mother and I have been married 19 years) is a felon (not currently incarcerated), addicted to street drugs and alcohol (is right now in detox), left her kids (boy 9 and girl 6, current ages) with us 2 years ago. when she went to the workhouse. We have a letter stating that we have custody in Educational and Health matters, but this is probably not a legal document. Previously the kids had moved from boyfriend to boyfriend, house to house, city to city. They were psycologically abused and physically abused.

When we took the kids in, I quit my job to be home for them. We got them into a stable environment, upscale suburban schools, got them involved in other activities and sports and have basically put our lives on hold for them. I am 53, my wife is 55. What was to be our "sunshine" years has now (more than willingly) transferred to raising a second family. The kids have now and probably for a long time will have ongoing phychological problem. Matthew's is his aggressivenes (which is being channeled into non destructive areas), Olivia at 6 still has "accidents". We are steadily going broke, because we are down to one income and have been using our savings to help support all of us.

Which leads to the current situation and need for advice --------
Matthews father has lately been making noise about custody of him. He is constantly asking Matthew questions that I can see are direct attempts to gain "evidence" of how unfit my daughter is. She is unfit, there is absolutely no question of that, but in the past he has stated that if she doesn't get her life in order he will seek custody. My question is this - What do I have to do to get legal, irrefutable custody? - I am really afraid that if there is a battle between natural parent and grandparent - the natural parent will win. Currently he has no "legal" rights to even take Matthew the few hours a month he visits. He was not involved in his birth and had no contact with Matthew until he was 4.

I know this is long and rambling, but I'm feeling really deperate right now. Can anyone help? I don't want to lose the kids, I really don't want them separated (different fathers), The kids are beginning to "shine". What steps should I take? Should I wait to be served custody papers? Help - please.What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?


Senior Member
I answered you on the other forum....duplicated posting isn't encouraged here so you should probably delete this thread.


Junior Member
There is help...

File a motion to be granted De Facto Custodian. I am from Minnesota and my mom is in the middle of a custody battle for her granddaughter.

De Facto Custodian is supposed to put you on an equal basis with the mother.

It has to be granted within two years when the child lived with you and I think the child had to have lived with you for a year.

That is the only option I can think for you but I believe it's possible in your situation

:) :) :) :eek: Good Luck!

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