Custody of non-related children

[misseskisses11]

What is the name of your state (Raleigh North Carolina)

Hello all quick question

My husband and I have been caring financially, physically, and emotionally for 3 children who are not related to us, their mother who is a long time friend of ours got her self into some trouble last year with drugs and court lost her home and could not provide for the little ones.

September 1 2010 we went to Tennessee where the children lived and picked all of them up and the mother my husband and myself went and had guardianship paper signed and notarized.(not with the court)

They kids were already in a bad situation before we got there and not hearing from the mother for 30 days from being incarcerated and then being shifted around place to place. we had knowledge that d.s.s was called and we spoke with someone from the local office who is a friend with my husband side of the family, she was shocked to know that we would be taking the kids also relived that we would be taking the kids. we left her with our number and headed to back to north Carolina never contacted by d.s.s .

over the months the children have told me stories some mad me cry some made me angry, the mother or any of the dad's have not sent anything no money no Christmas gifts and besides the mother no calls.(not very often all)
(the mother receives child support for one of the kids)

I do not want to see them suffer any more its not fair that they have to skip meals or carry drugs for someone, they have been doing great and this is the first time that they all passed a grade in the same year i am so happy for them but i am starting to fear the day they have to leave.(just to be a meal ticket)

It is a lot on our plate and I never tried to take them away but when the mother just stopped calling them 3 weeks after they got here and when we did track her down and the calls lasted only what 10 minutes or so it just reminded me that everything happens for a reason. we were a big part of the children's lives before they lived with us.

Everyday I wash sheets and blankets because two of the kids wet the bed my husband and I take them to every doctor appointment there were immunizations they had missed since they were two years old.
and for one child he now is on medication for sickle cell anemia which
he was born with and never treated. I do it because I genuinely love them

the only person who has custody is the mother. she has 2 other children who do not live with her. right now she is living with a family member who i know for fact sells prescription drugs and who knows what else from her home. the mother was arrested for trying to smuggle drugs into a prison and is now on 3 years probation. (we were told at first it was 6 months)

My question is

Do you think my husband and I could file for custody of the children and actually have a chance of getting it even if it is only partial or temp ?

So sorry at just how detailed this post is I wanted to make sure those of you who read it really had a good understanding of what my situation is.

I am a parent to a 10 year old and at the end of the day the only one's who matter are the kids and both my husband and I treat them like our own and only want the best for them when one of the kids first got her all he talked about was gangs and guns now he talks about school and what he wants to become when he gets older and also how he is going to raise his children.

 

[single317dad]

Do you think my husband and I could file for custody of the children and actually have a chance of getting it even if it is only partial or temp ?

First, I want to applaud you and your husband for giving these children not only a home, but an education and a good role model for their lives.

Now, the unfortunate part. Your road ahead could be pretty tough. From what you said, it sounds like these three children have three different dads, at least one of which has established paternity (because he's paying support.) Your easiest course of action would normally be to get the parents to agree to either custody or guardianship of the children, whichever is the norm in your state. With one mom and three dads to contend with, that might be quite a challenge though.

If I were you I would most certainly find a low- or no-cost consultation with a good family law attorney, one in your area and probably one in the jurisdiction where any court orders exist. Good luck to you.

 

[misseskisses11]

Yes I was thinking the same thing there are two dad's one of which has the money has the space does not call send anything I am not sure if he would
even fight it.

There is the second dad His record is really long for domestic issues drugs
you name it, he has been charged with has no where for the kids to sleep
and no form of income.

I am not sure what other family members would come out of the wood work
if i were to take it there with her.

But thank you for the reply god bless you.

 

[single317dad]

Yes I was thinking the same thing there are two dad's one of which has the money has the space does not call send anything I am not sure if he would
even fight it.

There is the second dad His record is really long for domestic issues drugs
you name it, he has been charged with has no where for the kids to sleep
and no form of income.

I am not sure what other family members would come out of the wood work
if i were to take it there with her.

But thank you for the reply god bless you.

Some states have a statuary "order of preference" for who obtains guardianship/custody of a child when "best interests" metrics are equal. Of these states, some read in this order:

1. Parent
2. Relative
3. Someone the child has been living with (possibly for a specific period of time)

Other states have the order of 2 and 3 reversed:

1. Parent
2. Someone the child has been living with (possibly for a specific period of time)
3. Relative

If you could get all parents to consent to custody or guardianship, the second scenario would be to your advantage over other relatives. In most states' process that I've seen, during a petition for guardianship, the petitioner is responsible for notifying all other parties with a legal interest in the matter, and the courts can take an active role in making sure that happens. So if you're in one of the states that lists Relatives above you, you'll have to contend with that.

That said, it's very important that you get the advice of an attorney that knows the laws of each state and can help you determine jurisdiction and your standing in the case.