Custody/Placement Case

[sam1234]

what is the name of your state? Wisconsin

Hello all,

I am in the middle of a case with my ex as she wishes to gain sole custody and more placement. My daughter is 13 and we have had 50/50 custody and placement since birth.

Her reason is that my daughter suffers from depression and she would be happier and more stable is she just lived with her mother.

A few weeks ago I found out that the GAL that is assigned to our case works with my ex in a professional capacity however she claimed it would not bias her decision.

Today I found out that the GAL and my ex’s best friend were attending a conference together and the GAL had been openly discussing the case with my ex’s best friend. They were discussing specially emails that I had sent in confidence to the GAL.

I do have a lawyer but of course she is out till next week. I assume this is not something that a GAL should be doing??? Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

We have a GAL that is a Senior Member here, @Ohiogal This post should bring her around.

 

[Death-b4-Taxes]

From here: https://www.wisbar.org/NewsPublications/WisconsinLawyer/Pages/Article.aspx?Volume=77&Issue=12&ArticleID=667

It would appear a GAL in Wisconsin does not have to follow the same rules as a regular attorney. "The rules, which pertain largely to the client-attorney relationship, do not explicitly or otherwise necessarily provide direction regarding the appropriate and relevant conduct of GALs." They do have an office your attorney can file a complaint to the called the OLR. However if any action would result without injury to the ward is hard to say.

 

[Zigner]

From here: https://www.wisbar.org/NewsPublications/WisconsinLawyer/Pages/Article.aspx?Volume=77&Issue=12&ArticleID=667

It would appear a GAL in Wisconsin does not have to follow the same rules as a regular attorney. "The rules, which pertain largely to the client-attorney relationship, do not explicitly or otherwise necessarily provide direction regarding the appropriate and relevant conduct of GALs." They do have an office your attorney can file a complaint to the called the OLR. However if any action would result without injury to the ward is hard to say.

In other words: The GAL doesn't represent either parent, so attorney/client privileges don't apply in the same way.

 

[LdiJ]

I also don't think that you can expect any confidentiality at all. It could be difficult for a GAL to fully do his/her duty by keeping information from the other side.

 

[Ohiogal]

what is the name of your state? Wisconsin

Hello all,

I am in the middle of a case with my ex as she wishes to gain sole custody and more placement. My daughter is 13 and we have had 50/50 custody and placement since birth.

Her reason is that my daughter suffers from depression and she would be happier and more stable is she just lived with her mother.

A few weeks ago I found out that the GAL that is assigned to our case works with my ex in a professional capacity however she claimed it would not bias her decision.

Today I found out that the GAL and my ex’s best friend were attending a conference together and the GAL had been openly discussing the case with my ex’s best friend. They were discussing specially emails that I had sent in confidence to the GAL.

I do have a lawyer but of course she is out till next week. I assume this is not something that a GAL should be doing??? Any advice would be appreciated.

I am a GAL and attorney. Your GAl should be dismissed for biased. YOUR ATTORNEY SHOULD MAKE THAT ARGUMENT ASAP. Especially since the GAL is sharing confidential information with outside parties. A GAL's investigation is NOT public knowledge. Call your attorney and have him file to have her thrown out.

 

[Ohiogal]

From here: https://www.wisbar.org/NewsPublications/WisconsinLawyer/Pages/Article.aspx?Volume=77&Issue=12&ArticleID=667

It would appear a GAL in Wisconsin does not have to follow the same rules as a regular attorney. "The rules, which pertain largely to the client-attorney relationship, do not explicitly or otherwise necessarily provide direction regarding the appropriate and relevant conduct of GALs." They do have an office your attorney can file a complaint to the called the OLR. However if any action would result without injury to the ward is hard to say.

What do you do for a living? Because quite frankly, you appear clueless on this.

 

[sam1234]

I am a GAL and attorney. Your GAl should be dismissed for biased. YOUR ATTORNEY SHOULD MAKE THAT ARGUMENT ASAP. Especially since the GAL is sharing confidential information with outside parties. A GAL's investigation is NOT public knowledge. Call your attorney and have him file to have her thrown out.

Thank you! My ex was a county social worker and now does contact type counseling for those who have it court ordered. It is extremely hard to find someone that she doesn’t know or have professional connections with. She works closely with judges, attorneys and the social services department. I wonder if I could get the case moved out of county...

Thank you for your quick and informed response I truly appreciate it!!!

 

[t74]

OhioGal, OP stated that DD is depressed. Is it not essential to have a professional's diagnosis before using this as justification I am always wary of a child being labeled with a mental illness by family or friends? OP did not indicate that DD was receiving medical care and counseling. While EX's training puts her in a more knowledgeable position than the average parent, her parental role is likely looking for a reason to change custody/visitation.

OP, You state mother claims DD is depressed but have said nothing about what you believe. If not already done, I believe an assessment by an adolescent psychiatrist is in the child's best interest. If it has been done, you should see the results if you have not already done so. If the child is truly depressed, a sudden change in her lifestyle since birth would be an additional stressor and should be done with the support from medical professionals supervising medication if warranted.

I believe that the problem is bigger than the person serving as GAL and the custody order. There are many references online re4garding mental illness that should be reviewed because if DD is truly depressed, you are at the beginning of a long journey. Simply changing custody is not going to help DD deal with depression.

 

[sam1234]

OhioGal, OP stated that DD is depressed. Is it not essential to have a professional's diagnosis before using this as justification I am always wary of a child being labeled with a mental illness by family or friends? OP did not indicate that DD was receiving medical care and counseling. While EX's training puts her in a more knowledgeable position than the average parent, her parental role is likely looking for a reason to change custody/visitation.

OP, You state mother claims DD is depressed but have said nothing about what you believe. If not already done, I believe an assessment by an adolescent psychiatrist is in the child's best interest. If it has been done, you should see the results if you have not already done so. If the child is truly depressed, a sudden change in her lifestyle since birth would be an additional stressor and should be done with the support from medical professionals supervising medication if warranted.

I believe that the problem is bigger than the person serving as GAL and the custody order. There are many references online re4garding mental illness that should be reviewed because if DD is truly depressed, you are at the beginning of a long journey. Simply changing custody is not going to help DD deal with depression.

Hello! She has been under the care of a psychiatrist and a therapist for about a year. She has tried 3 different meds over the course of the year with no reported improvement, in fact, she reports symptoms have worsened. I am not against giving DD more time at her moms if that’s what she wants. I am more or less fighting to keep my time with her at a reasonable amount and to keep legal custody. My ex basically wants to limit my time with her to every other Friday and Saturday night which I believe is not enough time to maintain a good and healthy relationship. She also wants sole custody because she believes it is too hard to make medial decisions when she has to consult with me first. We have had disagreements recently regarding treament options as one Dr wanted to start another med and a second Dr wanted her to take a break from the antidepressants as he believes in some situations with adolescents it can worsen symptoms. Our difference if opinion on this particular matter is what started the whole situation.

 

[LdiJ]

Hello! She has been under the care of a psychiatrist and a therapist for about a year. She has tried 3 different meds over the course of the year with no reported improvement, in fact, she reports symptoms have worsened. I am not against giving DD more time at her moms if that’s what she wants. I am more or less fighting to keep my time with her at a reasonable amount and to keep legal custody. My ex basically wants to limit my time with her to every other Friday and Saturday night which I believe is not enough time to maintain a good and healthy relationship. She also wants sole custody because she believes it is too hard to make medial decisions when she has to consult with me first. We have had disagreements recently regarding treament options as one Dr wanted to start another med and a second Dr wanted her to take a break from the antidepressants as he believes in some situations with adolescents it can worsen symptoms. Our difference if opinion on this particular matter is what started the whole situation.

You difference of opinion could very well exacerbate your child's mental health issues. 13 is a really tough age, and even more so when mental health issues are involved.

I also don't know what your current parenting schedule is but I can tell you that if you have a schedule that doesn't allow the child to truly settle into each home for a significant period of time, that can make things worse. With a 13 year old a week on, week off schedule is likely much better than dividing up the week.

The reality of things though is that your daughter is very vulnerable at this point in her life. If mom feels that the solution to that problem is less time with you, then that indicates a potentially serious communication problem between you and mom and potentially therefore a serious breakdown in the decisions regarding your daughter's treatment. If that is the case, then its BAD for your daughter.

Some co-counseling for you and mom regarding your daughter's mental health issues could be helpful to everyone concerned.

 

[Death-b4-Taxes]

What do you do for a living? Because quite frankly, you appear clueless on this.

I think we both offered good advice. It was almost the same actually. You just seem more sure of the outcome.

 

[t74]

I am glad DD has medical care. Let me tell you from experience asta parent of a truly mentally ill, now adult, child that it is difficult to obtain an accurate diagnosis of teens and 20s. My child was treated for depression for years with no success; Beginning at 19 he was hospitalized several times for "depression/suicide" that was really manic bipolar. It was when he was finally diagnosed with an oxygen dependent sleep disorder and bipolar a(s well as other learning disabilities and cancer) and was switched to mood stabilizers rather than antidepressants that he finally improved. Unfortunately, the one that was most effective short term landed him in the ER because he is allergic to it. Your situation is likely different, but until someone figures out what is really happening, yo9u will be going to be butting heads with differences of opinions.

You and mom must get on the same page for treatment. Since the current treatment is not working, I suggest you both agree to start from scratch with a complete physical and mental health evaluation by specialists at the medical school or nationally known children's medical center. I also suggest discussing the possibility of a sleep disorder; as it turns out, these can contribute to mental health problems.

A young friend has been in your position, and it did not work out well for him . Neither would budge. What is most concerning in his case is that mom has child seeing doctor using untested medications (for his condition but used for others); at times the child is too lethargic to attend school. He did not want his child to be a guinea pig outside of a legitimate clinical trial. Unfortunately, because he and mom could not work together, mom got complete medical decision making even though they have 50/50 custody. Please reflect on what you can do to cooperate even when you do not completely agree lest you lose any input into her care.

Unfortunately, it may be better for your child to allow mom to do her thing rather than push a fragile child with a contentious parent situation. It is the case that the cure is worse than the disease. When mom discovers that her way is not working, she may listen to you suggestions. If her way works, great.

IIWY, I'd suggest you request that permanent changes in the current orders be postponed until the child has a new review. You should consider agreeing to allow mother primary residential for a period of time and you then getting it and see if the child improves and which parenting style works better for DD.

Good luck! I am still fighting for my child health care nearly 40 years after his first LD diagnosis (the cancer diagnosis really complicates things). I hope you have better results.

 

[quincy]

Confidentiality can (and should) be expected from both attorneys and GALs.

A link to Wisconsin's Rules of Professional Conduct, Supreme Court Rules:

SCR 20:1.14, Client with diminished capacity: https://www.wicourts.gov/courts/offices/docs/olrscr20annotated.pdf#page90

SCR 20:45.5, Guardians ad litem: https://www.wicourts.gov/courts/offices/docs/olrscr20annotated.pdf#page171

It is nice to have a family law attorney/GAL like Ohiogal on this forum.

 

[stealth2]

I think we both offered good advice. It was almost the same actually. You just seem more sure of the outcome.

Perhaps because OG is an actual lawyer/GAL, and you just play one on the Internet?