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Custody Question

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tomecheckj

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? NJ

I have a stepdaughter. My wife and I lived about 5 minutes from her ex. Recently we have moved about 30 minutes from him. The present situation is that my wife's ex sees his daughter one day/night during the week and every other weekend. Since she has just started school, my wife would like him to give up his one day due to school and other after school activities that she will be in. ALSO, her ex has been threating to take her back to court so that he has his daughter two weekends in a row and them my wife and I would have her just one weekend and he would then get her two weekends in a row again.

I was wondering if how time is actually looked at in these cases? My wife and I both work so we dont pick my stepdaughter up till close to 5 every night. Do you believe that he could actually get her two weekends in a row and we would only have her one?

thank you,
Jason
 


NotSoNew

Senior Member
let me tell you anything is possible in NJ (i live here too). but i dont see why a judge would particularly go for that schedule. I also dont see why Dad should give up his one week night after school. Sure she has other stuff to do, but dad can be included in taking her there and what not.

Dad would probably be more sucessful if he tried to go for 50/50 every other week visitation. One week with you guys and one week with dad. So I wouldnt really try to get him to give up anytime.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Y'all moved (granted, not that far away) and you think he should give up time? Hello? It sounds like he is an involved parent, which is what your wife should want for her child. Rather than Dad giving up time for activities, Mom needs to make sure activities are not scheduled on his time.

If, for some reason, the court DOES agree that the midweek time with Dad should be dropped, it is not at all unreasonable to expect that he'll make up at least part of that time with an extra weekend.

We may be nuts in NJ, but not THAT nuts. :rolleyes:
 

tomecheckj

Junior Member
To Dynomight77 and Stealth2

Thank you for your advice.

I dont think I stated the case clearly though. What I neglected to put in is that the Ex now complains constantly to my wife about having to drive 30 minutes to pick up his daughter. We are not sure if he will actually get her to school on time, but we are hopeful.

What my wife and I are more concerned with is whether he could actually get our daughter two weekends in a row...and we would only have her one weekend...instead of the way it is now. Where its basically every other weekend.

Thank you once again,
Jason
 

CJane

Senior Member
tomecheckj said:
Thank you for your advice.

I dont think I stated the case clearly though. What I neglected to put in is that the Ex now complains constantly to my wife about having to drive 30 minutes to pick up his daughter. We are not sure if he will actually get her to school on time, but we are hopeful.

What my wife and I are more concerned with is whether he could actually get our daughter two weekends in a row...and we would only have her one weekend...instead of the way it is now. Where its basically every other weekend.

Thank you once again,
Jason
If YOU (and the wife) are the ones who created the distance, YOU are lucky Dad is driving at all. YOU should be responsible for the transportation. Yes, that means that YOU should be driving over to Dad's to drop off/pick up the child. At the very least, you should be doing the ADDITIONAL driving that is required (20 minutes) each direction.

No one can tell you what a judge will order, but if you're trying to deny dad his stated one night per week, then you're obligated to make it up somewhere.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
CJane said:
If YOU (and the wife) are the ones who created the distance, YOU are lucky Dad is driving at all. YOU should be responsible for the transportation. Yes, that means that YOU should be driving over to Dad's to drop off/pick up the child. At the very least, you should be doing the ADDITIONAL driving that is required (20 minutes) each direction.

No one can tell you what a judge will order, but if you're trying to deny dad his stated one night per week, then you're obligated to make it up somewhere.
Ok...apparently the midweek visit is an overnight...therefore dad has to get her to school in the morning.

Therefore not only should your wife be responsible for transportation since she created the distance, but she should PARTICULARLY accept responsibility for dropping the child off to dad, since he has to drive the child to school.

I doubt if he would get the weekend schedule he wants...but your wife should NOT be opening the door to that by trying to take away his midweek visit.
 
T

titansfan

Guest
stepdad needs to stop worrying let wife work it out

" what my wife and i are more concerned with is wether he could get our daughter for two weekends in a row" she is not OUR daughter, she is your wife and her ex's daughter. you have no rights to your stepdaughter at all. you also have no say in the visitation, you arent a party to it. basically, when the cp moves, they are repsonsible for transporation costs, unless they agree to split the costs etc.
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
titansfan said:
" what my wife and i are more concerned with is wether he could get our daughter for two weekends in a row" she is not OUR daughter, she is your wife and her ex's daughter. you have no rights to your stepdaughter at all. you also have no say in the visitation, you arent a party to it. basically, when the cp moves, they are repsonsible for transporation costs, unless they agree to split the costs etc.
Well geez, now that you've responded with your response, we might as well close the thread. The guy asked a question so put a fork in it, will ya?
 

tomecheckj

Junior Member
to Titansfan

titansfan said:
" what my wife and i are more concerned with is wether he could get our daughter for two weekends in a row" she is not OUR daughter, she is your wife and her ex's daughter. you have no rights to your stepdaughter at all. you also have no say in the visitation, you arent a party to it. basically, when the cp moves, they are repsonsible for transporation costs, unless they agree to split the costs etc.

SO basically I dont have to take care of my stepdaughter at all if we follow your reasoning. Well thanks, I will let my wife know this and expect a larger check from her EX every week now.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
tomecheckj said:
Thank you for your advice.

I dont think I stated the case clearly though. What I neglected to put in is that the Ex now complains constantly to my wife about having to drive 30 minutes to pick up his daughter. We are not sure if he will actually get her to school on time, but we are hopeful.
Well, it should be no surprise that he complains, and he's well within reason to do so. He did not create the extra distance - (you and) your wife did. Therefore, your wife should really be doing additional driving.

tomecheckj said:
What my wife and I are more concerned with is whether he could actually get our daughter two weekends in a row...and we would only have her one weekend...instead of the way it is now. Where its basically every other weekend.
It would not surprise me at all, especially if Mom pursues taking away the weeknight visit. He apparently IS an involved parent and he has apparently done nothing to warrant losing time with his daughter. Your wife is responsible for creating the distance and should therefore either be willing to do additional driving to make the weeknight visit feasible, or should be reasonable in granting him extra weekend time.

What titansfan was so hamhandedly trying to say is that legally you are not a party to this situation. You have no right to file anything wrt the child, and you're in no position to dictate to Dad when he has the kid or who's going to drive. That's between him and your wife. And since your income is not factored into support calculations (nor are you LEGALLY required to provide anything for the child), your contribution or lack of it will not affect the support amount anyway.
 
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