Custody rights and control of visitation

[reshavi]

In Georgia, unwed mother lets the father have child for 4 years while she finishes college. The verbal agreement was I get the child on weekends. The dad lets me have the child when he feels like it. He makes me go on dates with him in order for me to see my son or sleep with him at times. Sometimes he only lets me have my son for a day. My family and friends know he does this to me. Yes, humiliating, I graduate and decide I want my son back fulltime. I am tired of being abused by my son's father. The father refuses to release my son to me. He never lets me take child to see grandparents out of state. In 2 years my parents have not seen my son. My father passed and I was not allowed to take my child to the funernal out of state. I thought I had custody since the child was born out of wedlock. What are my rights as the mother here? The child was originally born in Illinois, but I have been in Georgia for 8 years.

 

[smh33]

Child is under jurisdiction of place living. Born out of wed in Ill...need to research Ill family law about illegitamate,out of wed child,custody of,paternity. Do not know if Ill paternity laws apply first since origin or if now u have to go by paternity laws of state child living....may look at both states...go to ancpr.org and ask which laws/state have 1st priority if no answer here.

You probably did have custody, how you affected such by willing giving up custody...research your laws....ex may be able to file abandoment??? Just as CPs scream NCPs can't be uninvolved and then just decide they want to be...same cp (you) can't just turn over child's care and later (yrs) up and decide you want back. The courts will look at where child is established, and who with..also will ask about past, you & participation in life of....
Sorry to say but..you made a huge blow to yourself when u turned over care & won't look great now u expect all back..might consider just asking for joint & visits.

Ex has bad past behavior..you have to prove all though. Start journal,document all, set a schedule for visits & use,etc....You can only be used if you let yourself.....Go file a motion for establishing custody/visitation...this will eliminate ex's demands & control

Do not be shocked if judge reprimands u both for not having an order in place 4 yrs later....and u for not filing motion 2 yrs ago or whenever problems started for that could have prevented much you have endured. Good Luck

 

[reshavi]

Thanks, I was always involved in my son's life when I let my child live with his father. The agreement was I have him on weekends and I get him back when I finish college. I did go to college in the same area as my child and I have been providing financial and medical for my child all the while. I just found out the Dad has not provided anything financially in the four years my son has been living with him. His parents have been providing for my child in addition to me providing money. The dad has only been providing day to day care. Alll monies have been coming from me and the Dad'd parents. When the child was born the Dad did not provide any child support or care in the first 3 years of our child's life. I moved to Georgia in an attempt to get him to be a father. I can't see abandonment by me as being valid. But me giving up custody was not what I thought I was doing. The agreement was the Dad was to keep the child until finished school. Then I get my son back. That seemed reasonable since the Dad requested I leave him alone while he was in college, which I did.

The Illinois law as I read it says that the father has no rights until he signs a form certifying that he is the father. Georgia law as I read it says the mother of a child born out of wedlock has all rights. The father must file a legitimate petition to get rights. I am not certain if Illinois rules are 1st priority here.

Based upon what you said, it does not sound good for me in the sense that I surrendered custody. I never thought I was doing that. I live 30 miles from my child intentionally. I would not remove him from his surroudings. He can go to the same school, same cub scouts, karate, etc. I have to have something legally documented as far as my rights since the father bullies me, and keeps me and my family from spending time with my son. I did not think I had to get these rights on paper. I wanted all this done amiably. I was naive of course. I did document the Dad's bad behavior. His threatning calls to my mother and Aunt if I did not bring my son back to him by a certain time. His abuse of me lead me to counseling which has awakened my naive eyes to try to take some control here. I hope I have a case here. Will my counseling sessions count against me or help me demonstrate the dad's bad behavior? I was considering filing a warrant beacuse the dad refuses to give me the child back.

 

[smh33]

My sincerest advice is to get a lawyer given issues. I have better to consult several,want 1 that feels you can win,should,etc....
Given some of issues,will be to u'r advantage since attys familar w/ judges,issues they favor,depise,etc...

Did not mean you abandoned by definition..just to check that what qualifies as abandonment, if any aprt of u'r past comes close to meeting charge,expect ex will try..also consider any facts that could be twisted&presented in manner putting u at question..need to be prepared. Please be sure you read all laws of custody,many times next page has statute that seems opposite others. my state unwed,mom sole unless pat. proven w/in 3yrs is under out of wedlock section yet in rights to custody law says unwed,pat. unproven, over 3 yrs...the act of one housing,supporting,maintaining relation w/ child for sub. time,etc. is considered willfull exercise of custody,consent to assume role..see what I mean, so many factors,read all

Verbal agreements mean nothing to court..he said/she said
Many of us have paid dearly for mistake of trusting ex's word,thinking ex would never use child to hurt....do not keep making same mistake. Ex has already proven what will do to you..why ever take word of someone doing such to you. Let it go,everyone makes mistakes & like you many of us truely thought doing best for child.
Documenting to be clear includes phone threats, send cert. letter stating..you called x time,acted,said,yelled this,etc...requesting you not do again, etc....This type documentation your best.
Support, don't waste your time..court does not care where it from, only that paid..u say parents pay,he is avoiding...chances are reply..here is good father,took child for mom and when saw financial strain,swallowed pride asking parents for help, etc..This is why u need lawyer...but the reverse is be sure you can prove what u have paid,hope u can & final is if no order for support in place, tech not seen as owed from either.
In custody, time can be your enemy...get consult and atleast establish exactly what your custodial position is,options by law.Do not take out warrants or do anything severe,especially before you even know position,rights.
Other stuff will send you e mail or private post.....