custody, visitation you remarry

[keepitmovin]

Tn resident,
i am in the middle of divorce but plan to remarry. i will have joint legal and shared physical custody (182.5 : 182.5). when/if i remarry and take a job which takes me away from home for any extended amt of time, can my ex change the previous custody agreement being that i have remarried? i assume that this is no different than may people who take business trips out of state. i was wondering if there was anything my ex could really do or will her bark be worse than her bite?

 

[Isis1]

Tn resident,
i am in the middle of divorce but plan to remarry. i will have joint legal and shared physical custody (182.5 : 182.5). when/if i remarry and take a job which takes me away from home for any extended amt of time, can my ex change the previous custody agreement being that i have remarried? i assume that this is no different than may people who take business trips out of state. i was wondering if there was anything my ex could really do or will her bark be worse than her bite?

the ex cannot change the custody agreement based on you being married. but she can request a modification based on you being out of state. how will being out of state reflect on your visitation?

 

[Silverplum]

Your post is too vague to give a valid answer.

(The vagueness is deliberate, to elicit the answer OP wants. )

 

[keepitmovin]

First thank you for your replies.

to clear the vaugness of this post. i have completed a successful mediation with my ex and as far as custody, a (50:50) shared custody has been reached. each parent will have 182.5 split with our child. my question is really to get an idea of issues i may face in near future. soon i may have an opportunity for promotion in my company along with a job title change and a small pay raise. i officially have not been offered the postion but i do know that i am one of the top candidates for selection. this change could take me out of state for 3-6 months for orientation, training, familiarization etc. i am aware that the change in circumstances may require me to pay a bit more child support as a whole with the pay raise. but during the time that i am away can my ex change custody if i have remarried? i hope this clears up the vaugness of my first post and again, thank you for the reply

 

[CJane]

First thank you for your replies.

to clear the vaugness of this post. i have completed a successful mediation with my ex and as far as custody, a (50:50) shared custody has been reached. each parent will have 182.5 split with our child. my question is really to get an idea of issues i may face in near future. soon i may have an opportunity for promotion in my company along with a job title change and a small pay raise. i officially have not been offered the postion but i do know that i am one of the top candidates for selection. this change could take me out of state for 3-6 months for orientation, training, familiarization etc. i am aware that the change in circumstances may require me to pay a bit more child support as a whole with the pay raise. but during the time that i am away can my ex change custody if i have remarried? i hope this clears up the vaugness of my first post and again, thank you for the reply

Is your ACTUAL question whether or not your new spouse can play mommy to the kids for 6 months while you're gone?

If so, the answer is NO.

 

[keepitmovin]

i do realize that the kids should be with there mother while i am gone and my intentions were never to keep them from their mother, limit their time with their mother, play games as if their mother has been replaced by any means. as a mother, my ex is wonderful n i wouldnt dream of doing anything hateful, mean or out of spite to her or to her and my kids relationship. my question was simply, if a 50:50 split was agreed and i take a job which i must leave the state for up to 6months, can my ex change the shared custody agreement if i am remarried? during the time i am away, noones keeping them from their mother, noones telling the kids "heres your new mom" nothing of the sort. when its their mothers time to have the kids they will be with their mother, when it is there time to be with me, they will be with me. again, the question is if during "my time" i am out of state doing training, can the agreement be changed. the whole "reading between the lines" and stating supposed hidden agendas are not needed. i would never do anything to keep my son from his mother, she is a wonderful mother and i do not doubt her abilities as a mother. i just want to know if i take a job n have to leave the state for some training can the agreement/order be changed? simple.... and thank you

 

[Isis1]

i do realize that the kids should be with there mother while i am gone and my intentions were never to keep them from their mother, limit their time with their mother, play games as if their mother has been replaced by any means. as a mother, my ex is wonderful n i wouldnt dream of doing anything hateful, mean or out of spite to her or to her and my kids relationship. my question was simply, if a 50:50 split was agreed and i take a job which i must leave the state for up to 6months, can my ex change the shared custody agreement if i am remarried? during the time i am away, noones keeping them from their mother, noones telling the kids "heres your new mom" nothing of the sort. when its their mothers time to have the kids they will be with their mother, when it is there time to be with me, they will be with me. again, the question is if during "my time" i am out of state doing training, can the agreement be changed. the whole "reading between the lines" and stating supposed hidden agendas are not needed. i would never do anything to keep my son from his mother, she is a wonderful mother and i do not doubt her abilities as a mother. i just want to know if i take a job n have to leave the state for some training can the agreement/order be changed? simple.... and thank you

mom would be unsuccessful in making any changes based on you remarrying.

mom can request the court to make changes based on you not being around for "your" parenting time.

 

[Zigner]

i do realize that the kids should be with there mother while i am gone and my intentions were never to keep them from their mother, limit their time with their mother, play games as if their mother has been replaced by any means. as a mother, my ex is wonderful n i wouldnt dream of doing anything hateful, mean or out of spite to her or to her and my kids relationship. my question was simply, if a 50:50 split was agreed and i take a job which i must leave the state for up to 6months, can my ex change the shared custody agreement if i am remarried? during the time i am away, noones keeping them from their mother, noones telling the kids "heres your new mom" nothing of the sort. when its their mothers time to have the kids they will be with their mother, when it is there time to be with me, they will be with me. again, the question is if during "my time" i am out of state doing training, can the agreement be changed. the whole "reading between the lines" and stating supposed hidden agendas are not needed. i would never do anything to keep my son from his mother, she is a wonderful mother and i do not doubt her abilities as a mother. i just want to know if i take a job n have to leave the state for some training can the agreement/order be changed? simple.... and thank you

She can change it whether you've remarried or not...

 

[Gum_Drop]

perhaps he is asking if the mom can have the order changed because he will out of state for 6 months. And is just hung up on being remarried.

Not that he wants the kids with his new wife while he is gone, but to be sure when he gets done with his training that he will still have the 50/50 custody.

 

[keepitmovin]

my question i thought originally was a simple one. i will break it down so there are no misunderstandings. for those who have read my post and did not "read between the lines" i thank you. for the others who seem to find hidden agendas, i will tell you that that is not the case.

1. i am now a single father with a 5yr old child. my ex is now a single mother with a 5yr old child.

2. as parents niether of us has any doubt of the others abilities to care for the child, raise the child, and do what is needed in the best interests of the child.

3. while gone i never stated that i wanted to keep my child from the mother. i agree that my child should be with the mother while i am away, again noone is trying to keep him from his mother.

4 i understand that regardless if either parent remarrys the other can REQUEST changes to the original agreement.

5. regardless of who remarrys 1st, but for the sake of this post, i will stick with myself as the example. if i were to leave the state for 6months, would my ex be able to change the agreement of 50:50 shared custody?.....yes she most certianly could request a change from the original agreement due to the deviation. the question again is, would the fact that i remarried have any bearing on the situation? what i want to avoid is going through the motions of changing the order, 6mos later changing it back.

thank u for ur reply

 

[Isis1]

my question i thought originally was a simple one. i will break it down so there are no misunderstandings. for those who have read my post and did not "read between the lines" i thank you. for the others who seem to find hidden agendas, i will tell you that that is not the case.

1. i am now a single father with a 5yr old child. my ex is now a single mother with a 5yr old child.

2. as parents niether of us has any doubt of the others abilities to care for the child, raise the child, and do what is needed in the best interests of the child.

3. while gone i never stated that i wanted to keep my child from the mother. i agree that my child should be with the mother while i am away, again noone is trying to keep him from his mother.

4 i understand that regardless if either parent remarrys the other can REQUEST changes to the original agreement.

5. regardless of who remarrys 1st, but for the sake of this post, i will stick with myself as the example. if i were to leave the state for 6months, would my ex be able to change the agreement of 50:50 shared custody?.....yes she most certianly could request a change from the original agreement due to the deviation. the question again is, would the fact that i remarried have any bearing on the situation? what i want to avoid is going through the motions of changing the order, 6mos later changing it back.

thank u for ur reply

so one more time...NO she cannot make changes based on YOU being remarried. but she can REQUEST the court to make changes based on YOU being GONE for 6 months at a time.....


you being married, is no basis for a change of circumstance...i'll even repeat that again...more specifically...

you being married, is no basis for a change of circumstance FOR THE CHILD.

 

[Isis1]

I surely thought the married issue was already covered.

i thought so too. i thought EVERYONE covered it. but then his last post was....

4 i understand that regardless if either parent remarrys the other can REQUEST changes to the original agreement.

5. regardless of who remarrys 1st, but for the sake of this post, i will stick with myself as the example. if i were to leave the state for 6months, would my ex be able to change the agreement of 50:50 shared custody?.....yes she most certianly could request a change from the original agreement due to the deviation. the question again is, would the fact that i remarried have any bearing on the situation? what i want to avoid is going through the motions of changing the order, 6mos later changing it back.

thank u for ur reply

i don't quite figure out how to word that another way....

 

[LdiJ]

my question i thought originally was a simple one. i will break it down so there are no misunderstandings. for those who have read my post and did not "read between the lines" i thank you. for the others who seem to find hidden agendas, i will tell you that that is not the case.

1. i am now a single father with a 5yr old child. my ex is now a single mother with a 5yr old child.

2. as parents niether of us has any doubt of the others abilities to care for the child, raise the child, and do what is needed in the best interests of the child.

3. while gone i never stated that i wanted to keep my child from the mother. i agree that my child should be with the mother while i am away, again noone is trying to keep him from his mother.

4 i understand that regardless if either parent remarrys the other can REQUEST changes to the original agreement.

5. regardless of who remarrys 1st, but for the sake of this post, i will stick with myself as the example. if i were to leave the state for 6months, would my ex be able to change the agreement of 50:50 shared custody?.....yes she most certianly could request a change from the original agreement due to the deviation. the question again is, would the fact that i remarried have any bearing on the situation? what i want to avoid is going through the motions of changing the order, 6mos later changing it back.
thank u for ur reply

Yes, its possible that if you left the state for six months that your ex could get the timeshare changed from 50/50.

And no..the fact that you remarried would not be relevant, in fact, it would be completely irrelevant.

The bottom line is that if parents want a 50/50 situation then they need to remain available for their children on a 50/50 basis...or they need to develope an amicable enough relationship with the other parent that there is flexibility.

 

[CJane]

For the entire 6 months of your absences, assuming you will not be traveling home on the weekends, the child can and should remain with his mother. Your wife will not be able to exercise your time in your stead. Mom will not NEED to modify the arrangement because you will not be ABLE to exercise your time.

But yes, when you return, Mom would absolutely be able to go to court and say "Look, child has been living exclusively with me for 6 months. He's doing well, he's happy, he's well-adjusted, it's status quo. Let's just keep it the way it is NOW and Dad can have standard visitation."