custody/ visitation

[busybee04]

What is the name of your state?ohio

I posted earlier about dispositional review coming up. The child is 8. Father called courts for info on contempt, mom is always denying visitation, and Mother called courts with concerns about visitation order. Judge wants to speak with them regarding this matter. My husband is going to ask for custody of his child at this hearing. After Mom got the letter from court she finally let him see his daughter for the weekend, after 2 months. The child was upset about a lot of things happening at Moms. My husband has documented for last two years of denyed visitation, abuse and neglect. Child has said that Mom always yells at her, lies to her, tells her not to answer phone when she sees her Dad is calling, step dad spanks her, etc... Mom told child of court date and said she would probably have to go live with Dad. Child wasn't worried about moving from Moms, only about leaving friends at school. Will any of this information help in getting custody? Since this is not a motion for custody will it turn out to be a long battle for custody? Any advice or past experiences is greatly appreciated!

 

[momupset]

What is the name of your state?ohio

I posted earlier about dispositional review coming up. The child is 8. Father called courts for info on contempt, mom is always denying visitation, and Mother called courts with concerns about visitation order. Judge wants to speak with them regarding this matter. My husband is going to ask for custody of his child at this hearing. After Mom got the letter from court she finally let him see his daughter for the weekend, after 2 months. The child was upset about a lot of things happening at Moms. My husband has documented for last two years of denyed visitation, abuse and neglect. Child has said that Mom always yells at her, lies to her, tells her not to answer phone when she sees her Dad is calling, step dad spanks her, etc... Mom told child of court date and said she would probably have to go live with Dad. Child wasn't worried about moving from Moms, only about leaving friends at school. Will any of this information help in getting custody? Since this is not a motion for custody will it turn out to be a long battle for custody? Any advice or past experiences is greatly appreciated!

You are step Mom? Why are you getting involved? There must be a problem if the Mother is denying visitation, does your husband talk to his daughters mother? If there was neglect i doubt that a court wouldn't do anything about it....and why wouldn't your husband make that an issue? How do you know that this is happening at Mom's? Are you there? If this is something that an 8 yr old has said to her father..then there is something wrong for him not to question Mom right away. As for taking custody, why don't you try counseling, has dad had custody or has this child always been with Mom. One thing that makes me upset is to hear step parents trying to disregard the love between the birth parent and child ..... that is such a stron bond and to hear you say that this child will miss friends more then her Mom is a little disturbing. Why was your husband documenting for the past two yrs? Why didn't he go to court sooner?? That is like saying he hasn't paid support for two years then they went to court 2 weeks ago and got a check. Does she get money for the past two years because he didn't pay her?? No!

 

[busybee04]

Yes, I am the step mom. I am not getting involved, I am involved. We have a very loving family. This situation that we are in not only involves my husband. It involves me and our children. My husband has called CPS, twice. I am not at Mom's, but why would an 8 yr.old have outbursts about what is going on. We are not making it up. There is nothing wrong with my husband. He is a good father. The only thing he has done was give the Mom the benefit of the doubt for too long. Only to hope that things would get better. There is no talking to Mom. She only yells and nothing is ever solved. If he was to question her now about anything their child said he wouldn't see his daughter until the courts made her. She has already violated a court order. Besides, the child asked us not to say anything to Mom because she gets in trouble. Counseling for the child is needed.

Sorry to hear you are upset, but I never tried to disregard love between Mom and child. My heart goes out to all the step parents in this world. We bring a child into our home and give them love and respect and treat them as our own children.

I totally agree, it is very disturbing to hear a child say she would miss her friends more than her Mom. There is obviously something going on there. My husband has been documenting for two years because Mom has always given him a hard time with visitation and that is when he actually knows where his child lives. He finally went last year to get court ordered visitation, but that still doesn't help. The only problem here is the mother. This is not an "I am better than you" situation. It is what is best for the child.

Why would you stone a man for financially supporting his child, wanting to spend time with his child, and not wanting to see her hurting over something he has no control over. The only way he can change it would be to have custody.

I may not have liked your post, but it makes me feel better to talk about this. Hopefully somebody will have something nice to say. THANKS!

 

[stealth2]

What was CPS' response?

 

[busybee04]

I don't know. They never informed him of anything. Would those records be available to my husband?

 

[stealth2]

Then in all likelihood, the allegations were determined to be unfounded or not rising to the level of abuse.

Dad's main problem, as I see it, is a lack of proof of his claims of abuse, etc. I suspect that if this is the first time he's filed against her for contempt, a change in custody will NOT be the first solution.

 

[busybee04]

I doubt that a deep purple bruise the size of a tennis ball on the childs arm could be unfounded. He did not file charges for contempt. The judge requested a hearing to speak with them.

 

[stealth2]

It does not, however, make it abuse. There are often many explanations for bruises (I happen to have a very nasty one on my forearm that has a good explanation - being abused isn't it, tho). What it means is that CPS did not determine the cause of the bruise to be abuse.

 

[busybee04]

It is sad to hear that it isn't abuse. The child told us immediately, upon pick up, that Mom hit her with an object. We didn't even have time to notice the bruise. If physical abuse is going to be hard to prove, then what are his chances in proving emotional abuse? What about PAS? Why does it have to be such a battle for a father to gain custody of his child? Why does something terrible have to happen and continue to happen before the courts will do anything? It doesn't seem fair to the child.

 

[stealth2]

I went back to read your other posts, and there's stuff that doesn't make sense to me. The child is 8, yet Dad has only had court-ordered visitation since early last summer. Why is that?? What happened for the prior seven years?

Since it appears noone has actually filed anything - not your husband and not your ex - I can only imagine that your upcoming hearing may well be a come to Jesus talk from the judge - that both of these parents need to work towards the best interests of the child. I know, I know - it's all Mom's fault. That may or may not be - it has to be proven.

I hope your husband has an attorney - I wouldn't advise any custody case w/o one.

 

[busybee04]

I am just stating facts about the situation. Hopefully, everything works out for the best. Whatever that may be. Thanks.