Custody

[tatesmom]

I am in Ohio my daughter is 6 years old and has only seen her about 6 times. None in the last 3 1/2 years because he just hasnt been around no desire to see her now he is getting married and wants to start seeing her again she knows of him but doesnt remember ever seeing him he has been paying child support because it is court ordered and comes out of his check automatically Do I have any options can I prevent this? Currently he has no visitation rights. But If I deny him I know we will be back in court. I dont want to fight it out in court if I dont have a chance to win I dont have the money to waste on a lawyer if it isnt going to help any. I guess another added factor would be the fact that he works alot out of the country so he would only be seeing her about 1 a month if that. Any help is appreciated. My current husband (the only father she has ever known) and I are at a loss. Obviously my current husband would love to adopt her but I am pretty certain that isnt able to happen because as I understand that can not happen without her fathers consent. Like I said before any help is appreciated

 

[usmcfamily]

Unless he has a court record as an axe murderer (and sometimes even if he does..... ) the court is unlikely to exclude him from the child's life - especially as he has provided financial support all this time (regardless of if it was forced or not he provided). You really have two options -- to start letting him see her and on your terms (as there is no order forcing you to let him see her at all you can tell him it's this or nothing and he will either work with you or take him to court) or refuse and wait for him to take you to court for the visitation (which as I said will most likely be granted).
Your BEST bet is to try and get yourself into the mindset of making the transition as easy as possible on your daughter as possible because as her mother she will be taking her cues from you on how to react to this whole situation. As there is NO established relationship between them you have a very good chance of requesting and getting minimal supervised visitation to begin with that will give her a chance to get to know him and become comfortable with him.......from there the visitation will likely become unsupervised and the length of visits will extend....this will be gradual and is something that the two of you can iron out with the help of a mediator. When he takes you to court I suggest you request a child psychologist evaluation of your child so that their recommendations as to what will work best for your child can be considered during the mediation/hearings.
I am not trying to rain on your parade - honest - just trying to give you an honest idea of what you are facing - which really if he presses the matter is the reuinion of your daughter and this man and a relationship between them.
I, too, am the mother of a child who had very little/no relationship with her father the first 4 years of her life - but as he "came around" to the fact that he is a father and became interested in being a part of her life I was cooperative (to a point and always only to the best interest of my daughter) and now she has someone else in her life who loves her as much as my husband and I do........after all a child can never be loved by too many people ................
Good luck and God Bless