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custody

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Jacki124

Guest
What is the name of your state? North Carolina/NY
I am the custodial parent of an 11 yr old who wished to stay in NY when I moved to NC for a better job and living opportunity. His father now thinks he has the right to dictate visitation fo rme since my son has been here for over 2 yrs,(while spending all holidays and summers with me) What do I need to do to remedy the situation or get have my son move with me. I havent done so because he wanted to be here for now.
 


Grace_Adler

Senior Member
So you live in NC and Dad lives in NY and your son is living with Dad full time in NY while you get visitation?

Do you have any court orders regarding custody and visitation? If so, what do they say?
 
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Jacki124

Guest
I am the custodial parent. My son was not ready to move when I did. He has every other weekend on paper, and every other holiday. He stopped paying child support years before my I left, and when he did he payed partially. He does not have the propper policies on him. He also allows him to be a latchkey child. I do not want to keep him from his father in ANY way. I have also paid for all travel expenses for the last 2 years
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
I'm still not understanding. Sorry.

Is there a court order for custody and visitation?

If so, what does it say?

What state did it originate from?

Is there a court order for support in effect?

When you say you are the custodial parent.. does that mean by a court order? What type of custody? Sole? Joint physical? Joint legal?

If there is a court order for visitation, what does it say? You said he has visitation by eow and eoh on paper. Does that mean a court order by a judge?

What does "does not have the proper policies" mean?

What does your order say about paying for traveling expenses if you have one?

Can you prove to a judge you have paid for all expenses?
 
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Jacki124

Guest
There is a court order. We have joint custody with myself as the custodial parent. My son lived with me untill I moved. There is a child support amount that was court ordered. It goes through the child support enforcement bureau in NY, that is where all of the legal proceedings took place. I may have copies of plane tickes, but i am sure I do not have gas receipts, lodging receipts, etc. His visitation rights are every other yr for major holidays, fathers day ets, the norm. Every other weekend etc. I have been more than generous with the amount of time I have given in the past, but obviously made a mistake in letting him stay here. I thought I was doing the right thing by bettering my ability to raise my son, with a better job and a better way of life. I have held the same job for a little over two yrs receiving a promotion within 3 months of employment. My ex husband and his wife although they work hard are not able to provide after school care. As far as the policies go, there are health insurance policies and life insurance policies that are non exhistant.
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
I'm sure anyone will correct me if I'm wrong but as far as I know, since there is a court order and you have physical custody, I don't see any reason why you can't bring your son back. I don't know how hard he can fight you on this but really, according to the order, your son is supposed to be living with you.

I don't know if you really want to pursue the payments for visitation. I think you would be opening a can of worms. See, most of the time, the parent who moves away is the one responsible for transportation costs or occassionally it is split. Then there is the child support deal. Since your son has been living with him all this time, that order should have been dropped and actually, during that time, he could have tried to take you to court for support.

Now, anytime he was supposed to pay while your son lived with you and didn't, then he is in contempt for that. NY is supposed to enforce this but CSE is often hard to deal with and sometimes you just have to bug the crap out of them til they respond.

Other then that, I'm not sure what to say. I hope that helps.
 
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Jacki124

Guest
Thank you it does. I dont want any of his money for travel. I want nothing for when my son was there. I do want him to live with me but I know its not right for me to uproot him, but that may very well be what i have to do. I wont jump the gun. I want my son to feel comfortable with being with us both, but I do need to speak to an attorney, have one retained if need be in case he tries to pull something....I appreciate you taking the time to talk
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
You're welcome.

I think consulting with an attorney on this would be very wise. You can call the NC Bar Association and get a consult for a reduced fee. They won't charge you more then $35 for it. You may even be able to find one to do it for free.

Yeah the thing is, he has been living there for 2 years now. So that might pose a problem. However, you do have a court order so I don't know about this one. This will proabably have to be a gradual process, like you said.

Good luck with everything.
 

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