custody

[waterboy]

What is the name of your state? alabama
Does it matter in court that a mother works and is gone from home 12+ hours a day and that i (the father) am off alot most of the time through the week . i could spend alot more time with our daughter instead she is being raised by EXs grandparents. My ex will not even let me see her at all when she is working and i am off. This has not always been the case, just since i have remarried. Now she is also taking me back to court for more child support . EX already makes more a week than i do. and i pay her $400 a month . Now i am not complaining but this seems fair to me. Since our divorce i earn about 25 % more but EX earns about 100% more. Thats right EXsr pay has almost doubled. It also says in the divorce papers that she is supposed to let me see our daughter the usual visitation times PLUS any other reasonable times . But there are NEVER any RESASONABLE TIMES. EX lives with her parents . NO expense plus . anytime baby sitter. Well i am sure you get the picture here so. Since she is taking me back to court for more MONEY . i am going for full custody . I hope to at least get some more time. LIke i ask EX being gone from home 60+ hours a week working. i am home nearly all week every other week. (work only 2 days) . Ex does not try at all to get along or be civil. Do i have a chance at spit custody . I have joint now. thanks for your opinions!

 

[NotSoNew]

you have joint what now? joint legal or joing physical? or both? what are your set visitation days now? I wouldnt go for full custody, that will require a full trial and you proving mom unfit. Her working a lot does not make her unfit. I would go for 50/50 visitaiton, or even more visitation time but with joint physical custody, not full or sole custody. Moms increased work schedule and your decreased schedule (i am assuming these changed since the orginal order) are enough of a change in circumstance to requorest 50/50. Full would be MUCH harder to get. Also mom can ask for more child support but if your state does a shared income model and her income has increased that much its likely your support would be reduced not increased. I checked and Alabama does use shared incomes.

http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childsupport/alabama/

 

[ceara19]

The fact that you only work 2 days a week could be used by mom to as the reason she has to work 60 hours a week. It could be argued that if you worked full time, the child support would be raised and she could afford to cut back on her hours.

 

[stealth2]

The fact that you only work 2 days a week could be used by mom to as the reason she has to work 60 hours a week. It could be argued that if you worked full time, the child support would be raised and she could afford to cut back on her hours.

However,

i am home nearly all week every other week. (work only 2 days)

sounds like he works some sort of shift work, like a firefighter. NOT that he only works two days ever week.

 

[ceara19]

However,



sounds like he works some sort of shift work, like a firefighter. NOT that he only works two days ever week.

I missed the OTHER between every and week!

 

[stealth2]

It took me a couple of reads to work out what he meant.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? alabama
Does it matter in court that a mother works and is gone from home 12+ hours a day and that i (the father) am off alot most of the time through the week . i could spend alot more time with our daughter instead she is being raised by EXs grandparents. My ex will not even let me see her at all when she is working and i am off. This has not always been the case, just since i have remarried. Now she is also taking me back to court for more child support . EX already makes more a week than i do. and i pay her $400 a month . Now i am not complaining but this seems fair to me. Since our divorce i earn about 25 % more but EX earns about 100% more. Thats right EXsr pay has almost doubled. It also says in the divorce papers that she is supposed to let me see our daughter the usual visitation times PLUS any other reasonable times . But there are NEVER any RESASONABLE TIMES. EX lives with her parents . NO expense plus . anytime baby sitter. Well i am sure you get the picture here so. Since she is taking me back to court for more MONEY . i am going for full custody . I hope to at least get some more time. LIke i ask EX being gone from home 60+ hours a week working. i am home nearly all week every other week. (work only 2 days) . Ex does not try at all to get along or be civil. Do i have a chance at spit custody . I have joint now. thanks for your opinions!

The absolutely WORST time to try for a custody modification is during or right after a child support modification. It automatically makes you look like someone who is only interested in custody because you don't want to pay more child support.

You would be far better off asking to modify parenting time...so that if you are available when mom is working the child can be with you.

 

[waterboy]

thanks for the advice so far . I am a water treatment operator i work five days one week and 2 the next . but get paid 40 hrs a week. i dont know how to tell the court but it has NOTHING to do with the money . I would gladley still give her the $400 a month and have split physical custody. Will the court look at this amout that she is away from our daughter? Will it matter that she lives in her parents basement and i have a home. I more thing , we had been getting along good (2YRS) then start to get remarried and ex gets mad about it. Until then i could get daughter when ever i wanted ( normally 2 days a week) but now ex says i cant see daughter while she is at work. I am married now . I give here notice that i would be getting my summer visitation. ex said if i did she was taking me back to court and get more money . Ex is just doing this as SPITE. She makes $1000 a week , every week. She is just being mean because i have remarried. Will the court see this too?

 

[LdiJ]

thanks for the advice so far . I am a water treatment operator i work five days one week and 2 the next . but get paid 40 hrs a week. i dont know how to tell the court but it has NOTHING to do with the money . I would gladley still give her the $400 a month and have split physical custody. Will the court look at this amout that she is away from our daughter? Will it matter that she lives in her parents basement and i have a home. I more thing , we had been getting along good (2YRS) then start to get remarried and ex gets mad about it. Until then i could get daughter when ever i wanted ( normally 2 days a week) but now ex says i cant see daughter while she is at work. I am married now . I give here notice that i would be getting my summer visitation. ex said if i did she was taking me back to court and get more money . Ex is just doing this as SPITE. She makes $1000 a week , every week. She is just being mean because i have remarried. Will the court see this too?

I didn't say that for you it was about the money. Its just that its kind of "classic" that ncp's generally file for custody right after they get hit up for a CS increase....therefore its NOT a good time to file.

The court MAY take into consideration that she is being "mean"...however she isn't in contempt because of the way that your current orders are worded.

It does not matter AT ALL that she lives in her parent's basement and you have a home.

The main thing in your favor is that you are free part of the time that mom is working. Therefore it would be really difficult for a judge to say that you couldn't have that time with the child....while getting primary or even 50/50 custody might be considerably more difficult.

 

[waterboy]

well let me ask final question . Since i have no idea what the court looks far as to make there decision as to what is best for our daughter. Will some of you tell me what the look for in making a decision on visitation and custody . i have joint legal now. what will help me get more? what would hurt me? also what would hurt ex's chances and what are things that would help her? thanks and list even the small things someone might over look.

 

[ceara19]

well let me ask final question . Since i have no idea what the court looks far as to make there decision as to what is best for our daughter. Will some of you tell me what the look for in making a decision on visitation and custody . i have joint legal now. what will help me get more? what would hurt me? also what would hurt ex's chances and what are things that would help her? thanks and list even the small things someone might over look.

The fact that you are willing to pay the same amount of child support even if you get more time, works to your advantage.

It's tough to penalize any parent for working long hours to support their family. That SHOULDN'T be a big factor, but it CAN be with some judges. Mom's living situation also shouldn't be much of a factor as long as mom and the child have a safe, clean, adequate place to live. But again, it depends on the judge.

What may work best for now, would be to ask that you get the right of first refusal to have your child anytime mom will be away for more then say 4-6 hours. That way if she is working and you are off, the child is with you instead of a sitter or the grandparents.

If you were granted something along those lines, the next step would be to keep a detailed record of how much time the child is with you and how much she is with mom. If there is a significant change in what the original court order called for, you MAY be able to modify custody.