Custody

[Just Blue]

Although it really would have been nice for them to establish a relationship, a young adult at the age of 15 nor any age over this should not be forced into a relationship in my opinion it seems unhealthy. The therapist at the agency also feels this way as well. They are not forcing my foster son to have a relationship with his mother which he is choosing not to because of the trauma that she has caused. When he is trying to live a normal life and hearing her name or voice sets a trigger off and he regresses. Then we start over again. It's a never-ending cycle. I am in no way an expert but I have taken classes at the agency about child psychology and outside of the agency for CE, and the more I learn the more I realize that sometimes the courts decisions are not in the best interest of the child in my opinion.
With gratitude,
"L"

15 is not a "young adult". 15 is a older child. Other than absence, did your ex inflict trauma on this child? Did he beat him? Molest him? Drunken rages around him? Bring him to dog fights at the Skin Head parties?

 

[momof3nji]

15 is not a "young adult". 15 is a older child. Other than absence, did your ex inflict trauma on this child? Did he beat him? Molest him? Drunken rages around him? Bring him to dog fights at the Skin Head parties?

You may think this is a child, but he is an extremely mature child. Yes drunkenness and shoving me in front of him. He would be sleeping while he was supposed to be watching him while I was at work, because he was too drunk from the night before. My oldest son had to watch his little brother. He would also ignore my oldest in front of his son and make believe he wasn't even there. I would have to call friends to go and pick my kids up because he wasn't capable of taking on the task of watching our child. I don't want to bash or bad mouth him, I am just trying to make this clear that people in general know what is and is not good for their well being is all. I will leave it in Gods hands and see what happens and that is all I can do.

 

[Just Blue]

You may think this is a child, but he is an extremely mature child. Yes drunkenness and shoving me in front of him. He would be sleeping while he was supposed to be watching him while I was at work, because he was too drunk from the night before. My oldest son had to watch his little brother. He would also ignore my oldest in front of his son and make believe he wasn't even there. I would have to call friends to go and pick my kids up because he wasn't capable of taking on the task of watching our child. I don't want to bash or bad mouth him, I am just trying to make this clear that people in general know what is and is not good for their well being is all. I will leave it in Gods hands and see what happens and that is all I can do.

Based on what you have posted ^, when visitation becomes an order you should request therapeutic visits to start. Once a week for a month or two should be enough time to work out most of the issues.

Keep in mind that if their able to resolve their issues, your son will have a relationship with his dad...if not, it only for three years. At 18 he can decide for himself. But nothing you describe is insurmountable.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

a young adult at the age of 15

A 15-year-old is not a "young adult".

And I'll bet your thoughts on the matter would be different if he was saying he wanted to go live with Dad full time.

 

[momof3nji]

A 15-year-old is not a "young adult".

And I'll bet your thoughts on the matter would be different if he was saying he wanted to go live with Dad full time.

Not at all, my son would make his own decision. If it was to work out that would be great. I have never had an issue with them forming a relationship what so ever. I tried to encourage it. His dad has never been consistent and would disappear and never contact my son. So I am all for it if they can have a healthy relationship with each other.

 

[Zigner]

You want this mother to believe that she should try to force her son to work out something with the father or otherwise the judge is going to force a relationship between he and his father. I do not believe that is a given.

Ok, I'll agree...it's not a "given", but very little in life is a "given". In fact, (popular sayings aside), there really is only one universal "given" in life.

OP, if you have an attorney then talk to your attorney about this. If you don't have an attorney, then consult with one who can review everything and advise you.

THIS I can wholeheartedly agree with.