• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

custody

  • Thread starter Thread starter 2teens
  • Start date Start date

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

2

2teens

Guest
the state i live in is arizona.
i have a court date on monday 9/24/01. i am the petitioner. i have a daughter (14) and a son (12). my son has always lived with me. my daughter lived with me until she was 7yrs old at which point she wanted to go with her dad to california when he decided to move there with his new wife. i let her go because she was close to her dad at the time. when she turned 12 she came to live with me again. her dad still has custody and so he isn't ordered to pay support for her. i went to court last november of 2000 to get custody. her dad said all kinds of things about me in court that day. the judge called for an evidenturary hearing to take place in may of 2001. when i left the court room her dad caught up with me and wanted to come to an agreement. he said if i would agree to $387. a month in support for both kids then i could have custody. i agreed because i didn't want to lose my kids. i never sent the paperwork in because i changed my mind. i relized that if he really thought i was unfit to have custody then why did he offer it to me in exchange for lower child support. i filed papers again. we go to court this monday. i spoke to him on the phone last night and so i will list for you the things he is going to bring up in court again. please let me know if these things can be used to denie me custody of my daughter or infact take custody of my son away as well. one more piece of information before i list what i have done wrong; their dad never calls them, i have asked him a couple of times to take our daughter back because she was out of control here and he refused. he would not even allow her to come visit this summer. he makes more money than my husband and i put together and recently he changed jobs and has stopped paying child support all together. also i have a feeling that he would not force the kids to return home to him if he wins simply because he doesn't want the responsibility. he and his wife have no other kids and neither of them wanted any kids to begin with. he knows i would go ahead and keep the children if he said it was ok even without support. the only reason i am fighting for custody is so i can get support. two teenagers can be extremely expensive. the following is a list of things he will bring up in court:

one week after sarah came back to live with me when she was 12 i checked myself in to a rehab center. (the reason i did that was because i had become addicted to a prescription drug) during the time i was there relatives called the children's father to see if he could take them as my husband and i were not sure if we were going to stay together. their dad refused to take them saying, everything will blow over. he is also stating that during that week i was withholding child support checks from my husband *not true* and that i was going to go live at a halfway house *not true*

i wrote a letter to their dad and a letter to his wife expressing my how i felt about some things they were doing. i was angry when i wrote the letters.

about six months ago my daughter was spending the night with a friend and called home to say that she was asked to babysit over night at someone else's house. since she had never babysat there before i asked to speak to the mother. i spoke to the mother and was assured that everything was ok. it turned out that my daughter had a party there overnight and tried meth for the first time she also had unprotected sex with a 19yr old which she told me was rape and first and later confessed that it was conscential. i took her to the hospital to get checked out. i filed a report. there was a forensic exam done on her and told the officer that i wanted to press charges for statutory rape since he was older and he was the one who brought the alchahol and drugs into the house and gave them to my daughter. her father is saying this was my fault.

about seven months ago my daughter had cut her wrists for the third time and i checked her into a behavioral health center. she was there for one week and was diagnosed as severly depressed. she hasn't cut herself since thank god. according to her father i over reacted and should have gotten her counseling instead. the behavioral health center was covered under my insurance at the time except for $700., which was billed to her father. i told him i would pay half of the medical bill and that i did what i thought was needed.

my daughter smokes cigarettes and has proven to be premiscuous and her father says that these behaviors are my fault because i allow them. i do not allow them. i can't handcuff her to her bedroom though.

what chances does he have of winning this case and do you have any advice as to how to respond to these allegations.?

Sorry So Long. I sincerely thank you for your input.

2teens
 


K

Kelly143

Guest
Since your daughter had been living with you for so long, your husband will have a harder time getting custody. Technically right now, he could just come and get her and keep her since you said he still has custody. It will not look good for him since he has not paid support (ordered or not) for her or even let her visit this summer. As far as the problems that she has, you have done, as far as I can see, what any mother woud do. You checked things when you could (the babysitting thing) and then took care of your daughter by taking her to the hospital for tests and pressed charges against the guy. As far as taking her to the behavioral health center, there wasn't really another option. Weekly therapy isn't enough in some situations, and your ex would have said you did the wrong thing regardless. Also, you checking yourself into rehab was a very brave thing to do. Your children were taken care of while you were there, and you were right in getting help for yourself.

Just remember, if the ex says that you asked him to take her back, he will have to explain why he refused. I don't know what to say about the smoking. I have two kids and a third on the way and am not looking forward to their teenage years. I understand that you can not be with them 24/7, but their father may be able to use this against you. I would tell the courts your suspicions about the custody, that he only wants it so he doesn't have to pay support. If he wins and does leave them with you, I would file again as soon as allowed for custody, because then you would have proven your point about the CS. I hope everything works out for you.

PS Keep in mind that HE had her during the most formative years. These problems didn't just start the day she moved back in with you. My bet is that it is part of the reason why she came back to you in the first place.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
Top