Dad picked up kids under false pretenses

[Awake07]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have primary custody of children; ex has standard visitation but never exercises because he lives in California. He said after much back and forth over months that he was picking up our 13 and 11 year olds to attend a very small immediate family reunion in Florida. He lied the whole time, even going so far as to say to only pack 5-6 days' worth of clothing. He was to pick up yesterday, 6/15, and bring them back next week Wednesday, 6/20 because son can only miss 3 days of an academic summer program he's currently attending at the local college to receive high school credit.

Son called today that they are in West Texas headed to California. As soon as they left with him yesterday, he told the kids they aren't returning until 7/27! Now I know why he was acting so strangely when he came to the door to pick them up. He refused to come inside to carry their suitcases, saying they could carry them out of the house. Don't know if he was advised about some law that he would be considered extracting them as opposed to my willingly allowing them to leave (that is neither here nor there, I understand - it was just weird behavior). My main question is what recourse do I have to prevent this in the future? I have lost my divorce decree, so I don't know exactly what it says. I know the part about summer visitation is standard and standard in Texas as follows: "If written notice is given by April 1 – possession of the child for a total of thirty (42) days, provided that such visit must end at least seven (7) days prior to the end of summer vacation. If without written notice by April 1, possession from 6:00 p.m. June 15 to 6:00 p.m. on July 27. It should be noted that the other parent can designate either one (1) weekend for possession during the summer if the visit is thirty (30) days or less, or two (2) weekends if the visit is more than thirty (30) days by giving notice of the date by April 15."

He never gave written notice/request, just phone contact to discuss visitation. We had an agreement over the phone but he did something completely different when he picked them up. Can a court hold him in contempt for anything in your opinion? Can I take him back to court over this? I am going to local courthouse Monday to get copy of my divorce decree and file a police report. Thanks in advance.

 

[stealth2]

I know the part about summer visitation is standard and standard in Texas as follows: "If written notice is given by April 1 – possession of the child for a total of thirty (42) days, provided that such visit must end at least seven (7) days prior to the end of summer vacation. If without written notice by April 1, possession from 6:00 p.m. June 15 to 6:00 p.m. on July 27. It should be noted that the other parent can designate either one (1) weekend for possession during the summer if the visit is thirty (30) days or less, or two (2) weekends if the visit is more than thirty (30) days by giving notice of the date by April 15."

He never gave written notice/request,

So... He is exerising the visitation provided for wen notice is not given.

just phone contact to discuss visitation. We had an agreement over the phone but he did something completely different when he picked them up. Can a court hold him in contempt for anything in your opinion? Can I take him back to court over this? I am going to local courthouse Monday to get copy of my divorce decree and file a police report. Thanks in advance.

Your verbal agreement is useless. Dad is not in contempt of anything, based on what you posted.

See if you can either get the tuition back, or see if it can be applied to a later session.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have primary custody of children; ex has standard visitation but never exercises because he lives in California. He said after much back and forth over months that he was picking up our 13 and 11 year olds to attend a very small immediate family reunion in Florida. He lied the whole time, even going so far as to say to only pack 5-6 days' worth of clothing. He was to pick up yesterday, 6/15, and bring them back next week Wednesday, 6/20 because son can only miss 3 days of an academic summer program he's currently attending at the local college to receive high school credit.

Son called today that they are in West Texas headed to California. As soon as they left with him yesterday, he told the kids they aren't returning until 7/27! Now I know why he was acting so strangely when he came to the door to pick them up. He refused to come inside to carry their suitcases, saying they could carry them out of the house. Don't know if he was advised about some law that he would be considered extracting them as opposed to my willingly allowing them to leave (that is neither here nor there, I understand - it was just weird behavior). My main question is what recourse do I have to prevent this in the future? I have lost my divorce decree, so I don't know exactly what it says. I know the part about summer visitation is standard and standard in Texas as follows: "If written notice is given by April 1 – possession of the child for a total of thirty (42) days, provided that such visit must end at least seven (7) days prior to the end of summer vacation. If without written notice by April 1, possession from 6:00 p.m. June 15 to 6:00 p.m. on July 27. It should be noted that the other parent can designate either one (1) weekend for possession during the summer if the visit is thirty (30) days or less, or two (2) weekends if the visit is more than thirty (30) days by giving notice of the date by April 15."
He never gave written notice/request, just phone contact to discuss visitation. We had an agreement over the phone but he did something completely different when he picked them up. Can a court hold him in contempt for anything in your opinion? Can I take him back to court over this? I am going to local courthouse Monday to get copy of my divorce decree and file a police report. Thanks in advance.

He gets his children PER THE COURT ORDER -- until July 27. What is so difficult to understand about that? From June 15 -- which was yesterday -- until 6pm on July 27. You had no right to register your son for an academic program during dad's time. Why would a court hold him in contempt for following the court order? You are going to file a police report? Are you kidding? That would be a FALSE police report because the court order allows him that time.

Let me guess -- you told him he wasn't going to get his children for more than a week because of the summer program, right?Did you try to be difficult or mention he couldn't have sonny boy for more than a week because of the academic program? What did you tell dad about summer?

 

[Awake07]

my reply

Yes, he is exercising his rights to visitation with no written notice, but does a parent have a right to just show up at the door and pick up kids without notice, that notice being that you are going to exercise that right for the extended period.

I only registered child because ALMOST EVERY TIME he says he's going to pick up the kids, he never does, always disappointing them. He does the number of yes I'm coming, no I'm not, yes I am, no I'm not. It's terrible and disappointing for the kids. Also, he has not seen them in 2-1/2 years, so why would I think this would be any different, seriously. I've told him before not to tell the kids and get their hopes up until he is certain he can make it; in other words, on his way. That is only when it comes to the kids, not me. He is supposed to communicate honestly with me when it comes to visitation.

I registered my child in the program just in case he didn't come at all. I no longer want to put our lives on hold and wring our hands to see if he shows up.

And FYI, I already called police and they said to get the decree and file the report, his suggestion, not mine. I called distressed, not knowing what to do, and he suggested it.

But I guess according to both of your replies, it's okay that a parent just shows up at your door and picks up kids without prior notice because that is exactly what this equates. He may not have broken a law, but that's f'd up any way you see it. I guess we need to go back to court to modify. I'm not putting up with this in the future, I can tell you that. Time to hire an attorney.

 

[stealth2]

Yes, he is exercising his rights to visitation with no written notice, but does a parent have a right to just show up at the door and pick up kids without notice, that notice being that you are going to exercise that right for the extended period.

You apparently knew he was picking them up yesterday. So, he didn't "just" show up. Also, you know what your order says, despite the verbal agreement you had. He has the right to utilize the ordered time. Despite what plans you may have made otherwise. His time trumps.

I only registered child because ALMOST EVERY TIME he says he's going to pick up the kids, he never does, always disappointing them. He does the number of yes I'm coming, no I'm not, yes I am, no I'm not. It's terrible and disappointing for the kids. Also, he has not seen them in 2-1/2 years, so why would I think this would be any different, seriously. I've told him before not to tell the kids and get their hopes up until he is certain he can make it; in other words, on his way. That is only when it comes to the kids, not me. He is supposed to communicate honestly with me when it comes to visitation.

Almost every time. COnsider this one of the other times. You took a gamble in registering your son, and you lost the roll of the dice. That's life.

I registered my child in the program just in case he didn't come at all. I no longer want to put our lives on hold and wring our hands to see if he shows up.

In case, Yet he did show up. That is his right. And sorry... but you have an order that compels you to leave that time available. If you choose to make plans, you need to do so with the understanding that those plans may have to be given up.

And FYI, I already called police and they said to get the decree and file the report, his suggestion, not mine. I called distressed, not knowing what to do, and he suggested it.

Where did the officer get his law degree from?

But I guess according to both of your replies, it's okay that a parent just shows up at your door and picks up kids without prior notice because that is exactly what this equates. He may not have broken a law, but that's f'd up any way you see it. I guess we need to go back to court to modify. I'm not putting up with this in the future, I can tell you that. Time to hire an attorney.

Again - you HAD prior notice tha he was showing up yesterday. You also have a court order that requires you to have the children available.

Not sure what you intend to modify. You have standard visitation. If you had refused to allow the kids to go for as long as he intended - YOU would be liable to be found in contempt. Had you filed for a modification based on his lack of utilizing visitation PRIOR to this, you'd have had a good chance. Now? What are you going to tell the court? He utilized his allowed time and you don't like it so ... waaaah.

 

[Awake07]

bitter people here, lol

Just nasty, snarky crap! What was I thinking? Need to talk to someone who really knows what they're talking about.

 

[Just Blue]

Just nasty, snarky crap! What was I thinking? Need to talk to someone who really knows what they're talking about.

Like the attorney/GAL that posted to your thread.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, he is exercising his rights to visitation with no written notice, but does a parent have a right to just show up at the door and pick up kids without notice, that notice being that you are going to exercise that right for the extended period.

You HAD notice. It is called the court order that states he gets the children during that time if he doesn't give you other written notice about other equivalent summer time.

I only registered child because ALMOST EVERY TIME he says he's going to pick up the kids, he never does, always disappointing them. He does the number of yes I'm coming, no I'm not, yes I am, no I'm not. It's terrible and disappointing for the kids. Also, he has not seen them in 2-1/2 years, so why would I think this would be any different, seriously. I've told him before not to tell the kids and get their hopes up until he is certain he can make it; in other words, on his way. That is only when it comes to the kids, not me. He is supposed to communicate honestly with me when it comes to visitation.

And you are supposed to have the children available to him for his time. You are supposed to make sure the children are available during his court ordered time. You are not supposed to schedule things on his court ordered time. He has a court order -- as do you. You are to follow that. So he didn't tell the children and get their hopes up and disappoint them. YOU apparently did that by registering the children for things that were NOT on your court ordered time.

I registered my child in the program just in case he didn't come at all. I no longer want to put our lives on hold and wring our hands to see if he shows up.

Well he did show up.

And FYI, I already called police and they said to get the decree and file the report, his suggestion, not mine. I called distressed, not knowing what to do, and he suggested it.

That would be a false report since the DECREE allows him that time.

But I guess according to both of your replies, it's okay that a parent just shows up at your door and picks up kids without prior notice because that is exactly what this equates. He may not have broken a law, but that's f'd up any way you see it. I guess we need to go back to court to modify. I'm not putting up with this in the future, I can tell you that. Time to hire an attorney.

You are not putting up with him following the court order? Oh okay. A court is not going to ding him for following the court order. And I note that you didn't answer any of my questions in your diatribe.

 

[Ohiogal]

Just nasty, snarky crap! What was I thinking? Need to talk to someone who really knows what they're talking about.

You are the one being nasty and snarky. Again, I note you haven't answered my questions. Did you tell dad he could only pick up the children for five days? That your son had something else to do and he couldn't get him for the summer?

 

[Cantata300]

You are the one being nasty and snarky. Again, I note you haven't answered my questions. Did you tell dad he could only pick up the children for five days? That your son had something else to do and he couldn't get him for the summer?

Awake07, I think was you are really pissed about is the fact that father hasn't seen them in 2 1/2 years and were probably hoping that it would stay like that and his level of involvement would be slim to none. I get that you are upset that he hasn't seen the children for this long and then decides to all of the sudden to exercise his custodial time (which he is entitled to do). If that is not something you wanted, then you could have tried to modify the order a long time ago as clearly he has been absent. You didn't do that and now you have to live with whatever the order says. Was it ****ty for him to tell you that he was taking the kids for a week and then take them for 6 weeks, sure...but it's not illegal and he isn't breaking any laws. He lied to you, ok...now what? Instead of going ape **** you should accept that for whatever reason he has decided that he wants his summer visitation and he is taking it. Maybe not the most cooperative or elegant way. Perhaps he knew you would throw a fit and maybe haul him back into court and he wanted to avoid that scene. The other posters have told you the truth, maybe not what you wanted to hear but nevertheless the truth. At this point I am not sure you would get a modification unless father disappears for another 2 years.

 

[Just Blue]

Awake07, much bad language.

Edit before you are banned.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have primary custody of children; ex has standard visitation but never exercises because he lives in California. He said after much back and forth over months that he was picking up our 13 and 11 year olds to attend a very small immediate family reunion in Florida. He lied the whole time, even going so far as to say to only pack 5-6 days' worth of clothing. He was to pick up yesterday, 6/15, and bring them back next week Wednesday, 6/20 because son can only miss 3 days of an academic summer program he's currently attending at the local college to receive high school credit.

Son called today that they are in West Texas headed to California. As soon as they left with him yesterday, he told the kids they aren't returning until 7/27! Now I know why he was acting so strangely when he came to the door to pick them up. He refused to come inside to carry their suitcases, saying they could carry them out of the house. Don't know if he was advised about some law that he would be considered extracting them as opposed to my willingly allowing them to leave (that is neither here nor there, I understand - it was just weird behavior). My main question is what recourse do I have to prevent this in the future? I have lost my divorce decree, so I don't know exactly what it says. I know the part about summer visitation is standard and standard in Texas as follows: "If written notice is given by April 1 – possession of the child for a total of thirty (42) days, provided that such visit must end at least seven (7) days prior to the end of summer vacation. If without written notice by April 1, possession from 6:00 p.m. June 15 to 6:00 p.m. on July 27. It should be noted that the other parent can designate either one (1) weekend for possession during the summer if the visit is thirty (30) days or less, or two (2) weekends if the visit is more than thirty (30) days by giving notice of the date by April 15."

He never gave written notice/request, just phone contact to discuss visitation. We had an agreement over the phone but he did something completely different when he picked them up. Can a court hold him in contempt for anything in your opinion? Can I take him back to court over this? I am going to local courthouse Monday to get copy of my divorce decree and file a police report. Thanks in advance.

I undertand you being upset with dad. I suspect that dad's thinking was that if he told you that he was going to keep them for the full amount of time that he was allowed under the standard TX guidelines, that you would refuse to allow him to have them at all, therefore he pulled a fast one on you. Was it a nasty thing for dad to do? Yes, I think so. However it was completely legal.

 

[stealth2]

I think Cantata hit the nail on the head. And I don't blame OP for feeling that way. But, reality is that there is a court order which allows Dad to do as he has. May not have been nice, but perfectly legal and Dad will not be penalized for exercising his time. That's reality.

Lots of could-a, would-a, should-a's here, but they are too late now. The best thing to do would be to stay positive for the sake of the kids, encourage them to have a great time with their Dad. At the end of the month (i.e. when the kids come home), ask Dad if the two of you can talk calmly to sort out how to keep him involved, even if he can't manage the regular visits. Phone, email, Skype, etc. As hard as it is, encourage the relationship. It will benefit the kids, and they will thank you for it. Trust me.

 

[Cantata300]

Edit before you are banned.

I am so sorry. Didn't mean to offend anyone.