dad wants child after 9 years away

[sadmamba]

What is the name of your state? ohio

My 11 year old daughter just returned from a summer visit with her father when she suggested to me that she be allowed to stay with her father in Georgia for a full year. I was completely dumbfounded. Her father has lived in Georgia, 12 hours away from her since she was two years old. I tried to explain to her that she lives with us and her life and school are here. He recently got a girl pregnant and married her and now has a "babysitter" and feels I should send my daughter to them for a year to live--although he works very long hours. I told him no and then he suggested that he would sue me for full custody. Please bear in mind, since his departure nine years ago, he only sees her about 3 times a year -- a few weeks during the summer, christmas or thanksgiving, and maybe another time if he can get away from his job. I have no problem with increased summer time and school recesses, but i draw the line there. It isn't fair that I have spent all these years raising her and then he can have his visits only to let her do whatever she wants, take her to six flags, and shower her with a ton of gifts only to threaten to try to get custody of her! I am the one who has to look like the bad guy! Please advise me, would a judge really allow a child to be taken away like this?

 

[njmom]

just my opinion.................

In my opinion, no judge will uproot a child from one stable home to another stable home.......he be able to prove you to be un-fit, and be able to prove change in circumstance to be able to gain custody of you're daughter.......I know exactly how you feel, children at that age seem to think that the grass is greener on the other side, because of the fact that you have to be the bad guy and he can be the good guy because he only sees her a few times a year........My suggestion would be to let him file his custody modification, and he will either drop it because of the expense if it goes to a trial, or if you're daughter wants to go that bad, she will act resentful and disrespectful to you, until she gets her way!!!!......Believe me, I am in your same situation but my daughters father lives in the same state, and they brainwash my girls so bad, they don't even know whether they are coming or going. I have too raised them on my own all of these years and they are now 12 and 10, and I am almost to the point to let them go to see that the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side!!!!.........Good luck, and I know it's gotta hurt because I am feeling your pain too, as I am going through the same Bull****!!

 

[njmom]

me again.....

By the way in May of this year he tried to get the girls from me because I am "unemployed", even though I am a full time student and there has been no change in circumstance, I have lived in the same house, they attended the same Catholic school, so he will have a real tough time trying to get your daughter, just don't give up on her, since it really isn't her fault......

 

[sadmamba]

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