Dad wants to look good

[onmytime]

What is the name of your state? CA
My son's father had me served with papers for visitation custody and support. That made me so mad. One of the reasons it upset me is because that meant I had to go out and get a lawyer and spend money (And I wasn't going to not have an atty, my child is too important to me to be cheap right now). What I don't understand is he spent money on a lawyer, but won't half way support his child. That doesn't make sense to me. He gives me money when he feels like it. He'll go two months in a row without giving any money. He also doesn't halfway see our child. We have an expedited meeting the end of this month. Does any of that matter when we go to court? Should I even bother mentioning it? He wants joint custody, which I don't understand because he doesn't even hardly see our child or provide. He only is taking me to court to say he is a father on paper. But if he hasn't been a father in real life does that make a difference to the court? At this point I want Sole legal and physical custody. I want our child to have a relationship with his dad but as of right now dad isn't involved to even make decisions. If he doesn't have sense to see or support his child why then should he be granted joint. Can I make him pay for my atty fees? I am just so upset that he is putting a financial strain on me. Not providing support, I pay for daycare and everything else & also having atty fees. If he wanted to go to court and live up to what a dad should do I could see that but he hasn't even done half of what a dad should do.

 

[BL]

We don't know the history based Just on your say so .

He will most likely get visitations as per a Court Order , and if Ordered HAVE TO pay child support payments WHEN required , not when he feels like it .
Joint Custody would protect and give him equal legal rights ...

Who knows he may start using any visitation schedules he may be awarded .

What must he do to look good ? Dress up ...

 

[onmytime]

We don't know the history based Just on your say so .

He will most likely get visitations as per a Court Order , and if Ordered HAVE TO pay child support payments WHEN required , not when he feels like it .
Joint Custody would protect and give him equal legal rights ...

Who knows he may start using any visitation schedules he may be awarded .

What must he do to look good ? Dress up ...

Sorry I couldn't provide more information, but I was speaking with one of my friends in CA and we are both going through a similar situation and she doesn't have access to a computer right now. I told her I could post her situation on the forum. So this is not for me. And what she meant by look good is from what she has told me that he wants it to be known to his family that he is doing the "right" thing when in actuality he hasn't followed through on being a dad.

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry I couldn't provide more information, but I was speaking with one of my friends in CA and we are both going through a similar situation and she doesn't have access to a computer right now. I told her I could post her situation on the forum. So this is not for me. And what she meant by look good is from what she has told me that he wants it to be known to his family that he is doing the "right" thing when in actuality he hasn't followed through on being a dad.

Mom needs to counter-petition for custody and child support. Mom will have the opportunity to let the judge know how things have been in the past.

 

[stealth2]

Does Mom have a support order? If not - he's not obligated to pay anything. And Dad IS entitled to petition the court for visitation/custody.

 

[crystaly]

California

When you go to court the judge will not listen to any of it until after it goes to mediation. California family law requires you to go to mediation first. In mediation make sure you let the mediator know what his past with the child has been like. No lawyers can be present during mediation. The judge will more than likely go solely on what the mediator's recommendation is. So make a good impression and don't talk badly about dad, just tell the facts and be calm. The most likely will set up a visitation schedule for him. But if he doesn't visit now then he probably won't visit according to the order either. So I wouldn't worry about that. They won't give a man custody of a child that has shown no interest in the child. The mediator will ask how much dad has been around. Don't leave anything out. But California is big on keeping contact, so don't make it sound like you don't want dad around at all cause if you do they will probably give him more custody that you want him to have. Which ever parent is more willing to keep the other parent in the childs life is the one that will retain more custody of the child because that is in the child's best interest. Read the family law codes. This is what they go by.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? CA
My son's father had me served with papers for visitation custody and support. That made me so mad. One of the reasons it upset me is because that meant I had to go out and get a lawyer and spend money (And I wasn't going to not have an atty, my child is too important to me to be cheap right now). What I don't understand is he spent money on a lawyer, but won't half way support his child. That doesn't make sense to me. He gives me money when he feels like it. He'll go two months in a row without giving any money. He also doesn't halfway see our child. We have an expedited meeting the end of this month. Does any of that matter when we go to court? Should I even bother mentioning it? He wants joint custody, which I don't understand because he doesn't even hardly see our child or provide. He only is taking me to court to say he is a father on paper. But if he hasn't been a father in real life does that make a difference to the court? At this point I want Sole legal and physical custody. I want our child to have a relationship with his dad but as of right now dad isn't involved to even make decisions. If he doesn't have sense to see or support his child why then should he be granted joint. Can I make him pay for my atty fees? I am just so upset that he is putting a financial strain on me. Not providing support, I pay for daycare and everything else & also having atty fees. If he wanted to go to court and live up to what a dad should do I could see that but he hasn't even done half of what a dad should do.

Dad has a legal right to petition for custody/visitation. In Ca he'll likely get joint legal (considering his past inconsistent contact, you'll retain physical custody and he'll receive a visitation schedule). Yes, you can ask for attorney's fees- it'll be up to the judge to award him pay them or not.

As another poster said, in CA you will go to mediation~ The judge will rely heavily on the mediator's report.

You'll get a child support order and that will be based on the Dads income and your income and what % of parenting time you both have. If the father does not pay as ordered, you can file with child support enforcement.

This may be a good thing. It may be the budge Dad needs to become involved in visiting his child. You'll get more reliable support and the custody issue will be handled and in a court order.