• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Dads supervised visitation....

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Jentexas

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Texas

My husband and I are currently going through the custody/visitation problems. I have two wonderful boys 3 and 5. I was not married to their father. I am now happily married and the boys love my husband. Child support, visitation and custody have been set up although, he has not paid anything and has rarely seen the boys within the last 2 years. We are now on temporary orders since the bio father has mental and drug problems. We have settled out of court three times with restricter visitation each time. The visitation setup is one visitation weekly supervised by me and my husband in a public place for 3 hours. We set it up for 90 days to see how it went. He attended the first one and then none after that. He doesn't call to tell us that he will not be there. So every week we get the boys dressed and drive 15 minutes to the "desginated" spot....wait 30 minutes then drive home. It is taking a toll on the boys and us. We go back to court the begining of August...what should we ask for or do?
Thank you for all of your help!:eek:
 
Last edited:


weenor

Senior Member
Research to see if you have any visitation centers in the area and have the judge order visitation there at ex's expense. At least you won't have to supervise. You may have to get the order modified to include a clause requiring him to confirm his attendance 24 hours in advance and state that if you do not hear from him, you will assume that he will not be there.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Jentexas said:
What is the name of your state? Texas

My husband and I are currently going through the custody/visitation problems. I have two wonderful boys 3 and 5. I was not married to their father. I am now happily married and the boys love my husband. Child support, visitation and custody have been set up although, he has not paid anything and rarely seem the boys within the last 2 years. We are now on temporary orders since the bio father has mental and drug problems. We have settled out of court three times with restricter visitation each time. The visitation setup is one visitation weekly supervised by me and my husband in a public place for 3 hours. We set it up for 90 days to see how it went. He attended the first one and then none after that. He doesn't call to tell us that he will not be there. So every week we get the boys dressed and drive 15 minutes to the "desginated" spot....wait 30 minutes then drive home. It is taking a toll on the boys and us. We go back to court the begining of August...what should we ask for or do?
Thank you for all of your help!:eek:
As stated about a zillion times in this forum (check out the search function), visitation is a right, not an obligation. Your X does not have to appear.

On the other hand, for the CP (custodial parent), visitation IS an OBLIGATION. You are REQUIRED to have the kid/s ready to go at the appointed time. It doesn't matter, legally, whether or not you or the kid/s are thrilled about it. A court order is a court order and must be obeyed.

As stated another zillion times in this forum (really, the search function is quite amazing), your husband is not going through anything, legally. He is a legal stranger. His bother is not a legal matter. The "we" in this situation includes Dad, Mom, and Kid/s. Not steps, not friends, not anyone else.

What is the August court hearing about? Must know that before we discuss it.
 

Jentexas

Junior Member
That is a great idea. He will not pay for the outside visitation becasue he has not paid for anything. But at least my husband and I will not have to be physically there to make sure that the boys are safe. Will there ever be an end? We have paid tens of thousands of dollars just within the last year and a half to ensure the boys safety....
Thank you!
 

Jentexas

Junior Member
SilverPlum...thank you for the insight. I am aware that visitation is a right and not an obligation. I also agree that "legally" my husband is a stranger but he is not a stranger to my boys. He is the one that takes care of them financially and emotionally and loves them more than their own biological father does. He is all they know. Termination of rights may be an option because of drugs, no support, the kids safety and his numerous legal problems. When that time comes the "legal stranger" will be the one to greatfully adopt my boys....so I feel I have every right to state us as "we".

With that being said....We will be going back to court in early August to review the temporary orders and enforce support. We will not settle out of court like we have done in the past and have decided that we will have the judge decide. It is just a long process and never nice when drugs get involved. We want to and feel we have given the bio father every right to straighten out his life and get back on track. Before this last temporary order, he had supervised visitation but it was supervised by his mother (which he lives with). The mother also has been battling with several mental issues and got in a fight while my boys were at the house during a regular "supervised visitation with their bio father" which wasn't there because he was in a court appointed mental hospital (which we didn't know). Then the mother attempted to commit suicide. So needless to say it has been an uphill battle. I will do and/or pay whatever to keep my boys safe. It should be "in the best interest of the child"...right?
 
Last edited:
Jentexas said:
SilverPlum...thank you for the insight. I am aware that visitation is a right and not an obligation. I also agree that "legally" my husband is a stranger but he is not a stranger to my boys. He is the one that takes care of them financially and emotionally and loves them more than their own biological father does. He is all they know. Termination of rights may be an option because of drugs, no support, the kids safety and his numerous legal problems. When that time comes the "legal stranger" will be the one to greatfully adopt my boys....so I feel I have every right to state us as "we".
Just a little 'free advice' from someone that has been there. I wouldn't push the whole "WE" thing too far if I were you. Doing so will throughly change the direction of the thread, and maybe end up never really answering the questions you wanted answered in first place.
 

Jentexas

Junior Member
I understand...mom6stepmom2. I wasn't trying to push the situation. I am here just like everyone else to get some advice on my current situation. I have just noticed that a lot of the replying in these forums are irrelevant or aimed at arguing with people. Some questions are not being answered or taken seriously...I just need some help on how I should proceed in my case.
 
Last edited:
Jentexas said:
I have just noticed that a lot of the replying in these forums are irrelevant or aimed at arguing with people. Some questions are not being answered or taken seriously...
That would be my point exactly. For some the whole 'we' thing is such a hot button issue that they will complete ignore the original questions and focus entirely on that issue alone. Best to not argue over it. Won't get you the reaction you are hoping for.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
weenor said:
Research to see if you have any visitation centers in the area and have the judge order visitation there at ex's expense. At least you won't have to supervise. You may have to get the order modified to include a clause requiring him to confirm his attendance 24 hours in advance and state that if you do not hear from him, you will assume that he will not be there.
I would also ask that the visitation issue be automatically reviewed by the court in no more then 6 months. If the supervised visitations are held at a facilitation facility, they will provide a report on how the visitation is going.

If he is a no show for most or all of the 6 months, ask that all visitation be suspended until dad is actually ready to be a parent and petitions to have visitation reinstated. If he ever does get around to wanting visitation and petitions the court, ask for dad to be required to take parenting classes, a psych eval, an alcohol and drug eval and any rehab the evaluation recommends.

If he's not serious about wanting to see the kids, he probably won't even show up for the 6 month review.
 

GrowUp!

Senior Member
Jentexas said:
With that being said....We will be going back to court in early August to review the temporary orders and enforce support. We will not settle out of court like we have done in the past and have decided that we will have the judge decide. It is just a long process and never nice when drugs get involved. We want to and feel we have given the bio father every right to straighten out his life and get back on track. Before this last temporary order, he had supervised visitation but it was supervised by his mother (which he lives with). The mother also has been battling with several mental issues and got in a fight while my boys were at the house during a regular "supervised visitation with their bio father" which wasn't there because he was in a court appointed mental hospital (which we didn't know). Then the mother attempted to commit suicide. So needless to say it has been an uphill battle. I will do and/or pay whatever to keep my boys safe. It should be "in the best interest of the child"...right?
If he hasn't been exercising his visitation during the temp order, then the Judge will most likely extend it for a longer period of time. For how long? For all of the issues that are alleged in this case, it's impossible for any of us to tell.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
His issue may be that you are forcing HIS visitation to, in essences, be with YOU (and your husband). He may not want to deal with seeing you. He should have the right to get his supervised visitation without having to also be with you - and maybe he'd be more inclined to show. I agree with researching the availabilitybof a visitaion center.
 

Jentexas

Junior Member
Thank you everyone for all of the great information on my case. The bio father is the one that mentioned and agreed having the visitation supervised by me (probably so he would not have to pay an outside fee). I was the one that had issues with seeing him but agreed...only to monitor the boys safety. That is why I was surprised that he had not shown up to any of the weekly visitations not even a call. When would termination of rights be authorized by a judge?
 
Last edited:

LdiJ

Senior Member
Jentexas said:
Thank you everyone for all of the great information on my case. The bio father is the one that mentioned and agreed having the visitation supervised by me (probably so he would not have to pay an outside fee). I was the one that had issues with seeing him but agreed...only to monitor the boys safety. That is why I was surprised that he had not shown up to any of the weekly visitations not even a call. When would termination of rights be authorized by a judge?
Generally in order to terminate someone's rights involuntarily they have to go a period of time without any contact of any kind, including child support. In most states there also has to be a stepparent willing to adopt and take over the legal responsibilities.

I have heard two different time frames for TX...one year and six months. I do not know which is correct. I have also heard that a stepparent adoption is not necessarily required in TX.

However...the decision whether or not to grant the termination is at the discretion of the judge. If the father were to challenge the termination it might not be granted.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top