Daughter-in-law is a liar and cheater

[concernedmom63]

What is the name of your state? South Carolina

I am a concerned mother. My son recently enlisted in the army 10/2004. He married his girlfriend prior to going to boot camp. They were married 09/04/04. They have been married 5 months and already my daughter-in-law has been sleeping around. Currently, there has been 3-4 different men that I know about, and believe me, it is true. She had to admit to one of the boys when we went to his boot camp graduation.

My son had decided to forgive her and figured that could work things out. However, this girl has no intention on remaining faithful to my son or anyone else for that matter. She is currently running up debt, and trying to have a baby with one of these men since my son is currently away in another state completing his AIT.

I have tried talking to my naive son and advising him that he needs to cut his losses and move on before this girl ruins his life and military career.

My questions are: What are the laws in regards to adultery for military spouses? Also, can he file for an annulment without having to pay her any alimony? How can I get through to my son before this woman is allowed to ruin his military career regarding her behavior? Also, can my son be held accountable for her bad checks?

Any info on the above subjects would be greatly appreciated. Also, anyone that has insight on how best to proceed, please feel free to email me directly. I am a concerned mom and would like some information on helping my son get out of this bogus marriage.

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: What are the laws in regards to adultery for military spouses?
A: I do not know; post that one in the military law forum.

Q: Also, can he file for an annulment?
A: No.

Q: How can I get through to my son before this woman is allowed to ruin his military career regarding her behavior?
A: You cannot. This is what he wants to do.

Q: Also, can my son be held accountable for her bad checks?
A: No.

 

[Jessakay]

Regarding the question of the laws in the case of military spouses:
As they have only been married for five months, your daughter-in-law cannot claim half of his retirement pay--when he should choose to retire. For some branches of the military, the couple would have had to have been married for over half of the military spouse's career, for others it is over ten-years--almost a redundant rule as the average career is twenty years or more.
This does not change depending on why the couple chooses to split.

And, for some friendly advice, sometimes children have to learn on their own. Your son is still young, if you have presented him with the facts and gently confronted him, there is not much else you can do. You could talk to the daughter-in-law, find out why she is doing what she is doing, recommend that she cease, et cetera. But other than that...good luck

 

[Ambr]

Q: Also, can my son be held accountable for her bad checks?
A: No.

Joint bank account?

If it is, he is looking at the fees from the bank. They don't care who writes the bounced checks - they get their money. Plus it goes on his credit report if they have to write off the account.

I would think he could be looking at civil suits as well -- trying to collect any hot checks.

What about prosecution from hot checks? Would that be a possibility, depending on her local / state laws?

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: Joint bank account? If it is, he is looking at the fees from the bank. They don't care who writes the bounced checks - they get their money. Plus it goes on his credit report if they have to write off the account.
A: You are correct.

Q: I would think he could be looking at civil suits as well -- trying to collect any hot checks.
A: Why? How would you propose convincing a judge that a husband is civilly liable for his wife's bad checks?

Q: What about prosecution from hot checks? Would that be a possibility, depending on her local / state laws?
A: I am not responsible for your bad checks and you are not responsible for my bad checks (criminally speaking). No one can be found guilty of a crime for someone else's criminal actions.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I'll bet you never liked your daughter-in-law.

 

[seniorjudge]

I'll bet you never liked your daughter-in-law.

Please list your first ten clues. Thank you.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx
I'll bet you never liked your daughter-in-law.
Please list your first ten clues. Thank you.

Oh Judgy, we both know that if the Virgin Mary herself married her son that wouldn't be good enough, just immagine her complaints if she was Joseph's Mommy?

1. Headline: Daughter-in-law is a liar and cheater
2. Handle: concerned mom63
3. Hostile accusations They have been married 5 months and already my daughter-in-law has been sleeping around.
4. Nosy Currently, there has been 3-4 different men that I know about
5. Saintly son My son had decided to forgive her and figured that could work things out.
6. Innocent sonny boy doesn't listen to sainted mommy dearest: I have tried talking to my naive son and advising him that he needs to cut his losses and move on before this girl ruins his life and military career.
7. Ignorant of military law re adultery which applies to military member not spouse.
8. Ignorant of marriage and family law thinking son might get annulment.
9. Trying to run sonnyboy's life because he has cut the umbilical cord finally.
10. Misrepresenting the legality of marriage showing she never had any respect for her son's welfare. "like some information on helping my son get out of this bogus marriage."

 

[seniorjudge]

Oh Judgy, we both know that if the Virgin Mary herself married her son that wouldn't be good enough, just immagine her complaints if she was Joseph's Mommy?

1. Headline: Daughter-in-law is a liar and cheater
2. Handle: concerned mom63
3. Hostile accusations They have been married 5 months and already my daughter-in-law has been sleeping around.
4. Nosy Currently, there has been 3-4 different men that I know about
5. Saintly son My son had decided to forgive her and figured that could work things out.
6. Innocent sonny boy doesn't listen to sainted mommy dearest: I have tried talking to my naive son and advising him that he needs to cut his losses and move on before this girl ruins his life and military career.
7. Ignorant of military law re adultery which applies to military member not spouse.
8. Ignorant of marriage and family law thinking son might get annulment.
9. Trying to run sonnyboy's life because he has cut the umbilical cord finally.
10. Misrepresenting the legality of marriage showing she never had any respect for her son's welfare. "like some information on helping my son get out of this bogus marriage."

.....o.....

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Nevermind, RMET stated it. So now the edit button.

 

[bradybunchmom]

butt out and let your son handle it

you should stay out if it,and let your son and his wife work it out.their marital problems arent any of your business.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? South Carolina

I am a concerned mother. My son recently enlisted in the army 10/2004. He married his girlfriend prior to going to boot camp. They were married 09/04/04. They have been married 5 months and already my daughter-in-law has been sleeping around. Currently, there has been 3-4 different men that I know about, and believe me, it is true. She had to admit to one of the boys when we went to his boot camp graduation.

My son had decided to forgive her and figured that could work things out. However, this girl has no intention on remaining faithful to my son or anyone else for that matter. She is currently running up debt, and trying to have a baby with one of these men since my son is currently away in another state completing his AIT.

I have tried talking to my naive son and advising him that he needs to cut his losses and move on before this girl ruins his life and military career.

My questions are: What are the laws in regards to adultery for military spouses? Also, can he file for an annulment without having to pay her any alimony? How can I get through to my son before this woman is allowed to ruin his military career regarding her behavior? Also, can my son be held accountable for her bad checks?

Any info on the above subjects would be greatly appreciated. Also, anyone that has insight on how best to proceed, please feel free to email me directly. I am a concerned mom and would like some information on helping my son get out of this bogus marriage.

My response:

I just got my crystal ball out of the repair shop today . . . so, let's see if it's working.

{{{Hands moving over crystal ball}}} Yes! The fog is moving, and clearing . . . I see . . . yes, I see one, no two, oh my gosh I see four wheels. Wow, the fog in the ball is completely gone now, and I see your daughter-in-law standing in front of her aluminum door - - which is attached to her single-wide trailer!

Southern folks. Real classy trailers.

IAAL

 

[rmet4nzkx]

And the state motto is:
Airstreams for airheads

 

[Rushia]

My response:

I just got my crystal ball out of the repair shop today . . . so, let's see if it's working.

{{{Hands moving over crystal ball}}} Yes! The fog is moving, and clearing . . . I see . . . yes, I see one, no two, oh my gosh I see four wheels. Wow, the fog in the ball is completely gone now, and I see your daughter-in-law standing in front of her aluminum door - - which is attached to her single-wide trailer!

Southern folks. Real classy trailers.

IAAL

Thanks alot, Pepsi out of the nose again. That's twice today.

 

[concernedmom63]

Thanks for all the advice

Thanks so much to everyone that responded...And for the record, No I never liked my daughter-in-law..before she was one, but because I love my son I accepted her for the girl he chose..not that I had any say anyway. My son can do with his life what he chooses, but like any concerned mom if he were about to fall off a cliff, I would try and save him..not push him off.

And, although I may be ignorant of military law, I only asked certain questions because I didn't know. Afterall, that is what one does when they don't know the answer to something. Also, I have never considered myself a saint in any capacity, or that I have not made mistakes of my own...I am still a mother who loves her child and concerned about his well-being.

By the way, my son already cut his apron strings; I handed him the scissors.., so please don't read more into my original post that what it was. I thought this board was for people to ask legal advice, and not to be judged by someone elses' opinion of them.