Daughter's father is charged with raping another child-What now?

[SingleMom81]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

Hi its me again. I don't post much, but I lurk quite often, and will value any advice you have for me. Heck, I'll even take any snark I can get because I have made some bad choices and I admit it.

Brief history-me and my daughter's father were not married. I have sole custody, and he has child support payments of $133 a month (which he has never paid). I am on TanF and food stamps, so the money I would get goes to the state instead. I have a restraining order against him as well.

Okay, last week he was arrested and charged with child kidnapping, forcible rape, forcible sodomy, first degree burglary and tampering with evidence in a felony investigation. Allegedly, he kidnapped a sleeping 8 year old girl out of her bed, raped her in her backyard and then burned his clothing afterward. (I you ask me, he should have kept the clothing on while it burned.) He has confessed to the crime, and is being held on a one million cash only bond.

What do I do now? Do I need to go back to court and sever his parental rights for good? Do I have enough now to get a restraining order for our daughter as well?

Please....this could have been my sweet little girl this happened to. I thank my lucky stars that I had the good sense to get him out of our lives sooner. But I don't want to risk him ever coming near us again.

Thanks for your time.

Edit to add: Our daughter is almost 3, and she hasn't seen him since she was 7 weeks old. He has been around though, stalking and damaging my property.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

Hi its me again. I don't post much, but I lurk quite often, and will value any advice you have for me. Heck, I'll even take any snark I can get because I have made some bad choices and I admit it.

Brief history-me and my daughter's father were not married. I have sole custody, and he has child support payments of $133 a month (which he has never paid). I am on TanF and food stamps, so the money I would get goes to the state instead. I have a restraining order against him as well.

Okay, last week he was arrested and charged with child kidnapping, forcible rape, forcible sodomy, first degree burglary and tampering with evidence in a felony investigation. Allegedly, he kidnapped a sleeping 8 year old girl out of her bed, raped her in her backyard and then burned his clothing afterward. (I you ask me, he should have kept the clothing on while it burned.) He has confessed to the crime, and is being held on a one million cash only bond.

What do I do now? Do I need to go back to court and sever his parental rights for good? Do I have enough now to get a restraining order for our daughter as well?

Please....this could have been my sweet little girl this happened to. I thank my lucky stars that I had the good sense to get him out of our lives sooner. But I don't want to risk him ever coming near us again.

Thanks for your time.

Edit to add: Our daughter is almost 3, and she hasn't seen him since she was 7 weeks old. He has been around though, stalking and damaging my property.

Are there any court orders for visitation? If so immediately move to suspend them through an emergency ex parte order. As for the rest, you need to wait for him to be convicted and sentenced before you can start anything. Is he out of jail now or being held?

 

[SingleMom81]

OhioGal-Thanks for responding so quickly!

No he doesn't have any court ordered visitation.

He is still being held in jail on a one million dollar bond. He'll never come up with that, so he'll probably be there until he is convicted and sentenced.

I appreciate your advice. When/if he is convicted, what steps do I need to take after that? Do I need to do anything?

 

[Silverplum]

OhioGal-Thanks for responding so quickly!

No he doesn't have any court ordered visitation.

He is still being held in jail on a one million dollar bond. He'll never come up with that, so he'll probably be there until he is convicted and sentenced.

I appreciate your advice. When/if he is convicted, what steps do I need to take after that? Do I need to do anything?

I'll PM you a legal link to answer your question/s -- but you'll need to enable your PMs in "User CP."

 

[>Charlotte<]

I just read the news story about that <insert what would probably be the most bannable word in the history of FA>, and I wish you and your daughter the best of luck in getting this <same word> out of your lives.

 

[mommabearx1]

i just read the news story about that <insert what would probably be the most bannable word in the history of fa>, and i wish you and your daughter the best of luck in getting this <same word> out of your lives.

ditto!!!!!!!!

 

[LdiJ]

OhioGal-Thanks for responding so quickly!

No he doesn't have any court ordered visitation.

He is still being held in jail on a one million dollar bond. He'll never come up with that, so he'll probably be there until he is convicted and sentenced.

I appreciate your advice. When/if he is convicted, what steps do I need to take after that? Do I need to do anything?

He may end up going away for long enough that you won't ever half to worry about him and your daughter.

Since there are currently no visitation orders, don't worry about it for now. See what his sentencing is and then decide how you want to proceed.

 

[SingleMom81]

SP-They are enabled now. Thanks so much!

Charlotte and mommabear- Thanks for your support. I can hardly believe it is real. I knew he was a bad guy, but I had no idea that he would do something so bad.

LDiJ- Thanks. That is what I was thinking anyways. You know how people just love to try and give legal advice (friends and family), but its not always correct? Everyone around me thinks I should "Get the ball rolling" and do something now. But I had doubts, and I knew I would get correct advice here.

I can't thank you all enough! My mind is an emotional roller coaster, so its good to come down a level and know my options.

 

[SingleMom81]

Update

Hi everyone! I thought you might like an update, and it is one I am more than happy to give you. Justice has been served - he was convicted on all charges and will be serving three consecutive life sentences.

I especially want to thank Silverplum, who took time out to send me links and useful information. If I could, I'd hug you!

Ok, well I'm not completely happy. It is a little bittersweet in the sense that my daughter's father turned out to be this vile person. I wish I could have made a better choice for her. Oh, and explaining this to her when she's older...I shudder a bit at the thought. Thankfully, there's time for that!

But for now, I need help weighing the pros and cons of severing his parental rights. I don't know all of them and was hoping you could help. My questions are...

What rights can he have to our daughter from prison?

If I decide to sever his rights, do I absolutely need a lawyer?

My last question, is a bit hard to ask, but I guess there's no shame when it comes to supporting my child...

If he were to die in prison while our daughter is still a minor, does she receive any benefits from that? Would that only apply if he on the birth certificate as father?

Are there any other questions I need to ask, or research I can do?

Thanks for your time.

 

[Ohiogal]

Hi everyone! I thought you might like an update, and it is one I am more than happy to give you. Justice has been served - he was convicted on all charges and will be serving three consecutive life sentences.

I especially want to thank Silverplum, who took time out to send me links and useful information. If I could, I'd hug you!

Ok, well I'm not completely happy. It is a little bittersweet in the sense that my daughter's father turned out to be this vile person. I wish I could have made a better choice for her. Oh, and explaining this to her when she's older...I shudder a bit at the thought. Thankfully, there's time for that!

But for now, I need help weighing the pros and cons of severing his parental rights. I don't know all of them and was hoping you could help. My questions are...

What rights can he have to our daughter from prison?

If I decide to sever his rights, do I absolutely need a lawyer?

My last question, is a bit hard to ask, but I guess there's no shame when it comes to supporting my child...

If he were to die in prison while our daughter is still a minor, does she receive any benefits from that? Would that only apply if he on the birth certificate as father?

Are there any other questions I need to ask, or research I can do?

Thanks for your time.

Yes if he dies while your child is still a minor your daughter may very well receive benefits if he has paid into social security. Also, contact legal aid to see about a lawyer to have his rights terminated. For cases like this they may very well provide one.

Thank you for the update.

 

[Silverplum]

I am totally thrilled to hear back from you, and if I could, I'd hug you back!

Hi everyone! I thought you might like an update, and it is one I am more than happy to give you. Justice has been served - he was convicted on all charges and will be serving three consecutive life sentences.

I especially want to thank Silverplum, who took time out to send me links and useful information. If I could, I'd hug you!

Ok, well I'm not completely happy. It is a little bittersweet in the sense that my daughter's father turned out to be this vile person. I wish I could have made a better choice for her. Oh, and explaining this to her when she's older...I shudder a bit at the thought. Thankfully, there's time for that!

But for now, I need help weighing the pros and cons of severing his parental rights. I don't know all of them and was hoping you could help. My questions are...

What rights can he have to our daughter from prison?

If I decide to sever his rights, do I absolutely need a lawyer?

My last question, is a bit hard to ask, but I guess there's no shame when it comes to supporting my child...

If he were to die in prison while our daughter is still a minor, does she receive any benefits from that? Would that only apply if he on the birth certificate as father?

Are there any other questions I need to ask, or research I can do?

Thanks for your time.

 

[Antigone*]

Wow SingleMom, stay strong for your little girl. When the time comes be gentle about what you say, but be honest and let her know that no matter what she is loved.

take care, ana

 

[SingleMom81]

Thanks again for the warm wishes and good advice!

OhioGal-Right after you posted I contacted legal aid. Unfortunately, I just received their letter stating that they are too backed up to take my case.

Is this something I can do Pro Se? If so, what are some Google search terms I can use for study?

 

[Ohiogal]

Contact Victim's Assistance in your state and see if they can point you to an attorney. There may be one that the state would be willing to compensate (up to X amount) to have your child protected from him.

 

[LdiJ]

Hi everyone! I thought you might like an update, and it is one I am more than happy to give you. Justice has been served - he was convicted on all charges and will be serving three consecutive life sentences.

Good...and they absolutely do not like child rapists in prison.

Ok, well I'm not completely happy. It is a little bittersweet in the sense that my daughter's father turned out to be this vile person. I wish I could have made a better choice for her. Oh, and explaining this to her when she's older...I shudder a bit at the thought. Thankfully, there's time for that!

Its quite human and normal to feel that way...all of it.

But for now, I need help weighing the pros and cons of severing his parental rights. I don't know all of them and was hoping you could help. My questions are...

What rights can he have to our daughter from prison?

Basically none. Can you imagine a judge ordering someone serving three consecutive life sentances for raping a small child to have prison visits with another small child? I certainly cannot imagine that.

If I decide to sever his rights, do I absolutely need a lawyer?

I would certainly be better to have one. However this is one case that I can imagine many attorneys being willing to take on pro bono. What he did was so hideous that I can imagine an attorney like OG, for example, who really cares about children, being will to do that particular one for free.

My last question, is a bit hard to ask, but I guess there's no shame when it comes to supporting my child...

If he were to die in prison while our daughter is still a minor, does she receive any benefits from that? Would that only apply if he on the birth certificate as father?

Are there any other questions I need to ask, or research I can do?

Thanks for your time.

Has his paternity ever been established? If he is not on the BC is there a court order establishing his paternity? If so, she would be able to collect SS Survivor's benefits, assuming that he had enough quarters of work credit for SS benefits to be available at all.

I believe that she could still collect even if his parental rights were terminated, but that is something that you really need to discuss with the SSA. I cannot be certain that I am correct. I know that a child collecting those benefits can still collect them after an adoption, which logically makes it seem as though they could also collect them after a TPR, but I am not certain.

However, despite everything that I have posted here, I am a little ambivalent about the need to terminate his parental rights. With three consecutive life sentences there is little chance that he would ever get out of prison before your child became an adult. If I were you I would want his parental rights terminated as well, however I am not sure that its an absolute necessity at this time. You could put it off until you save up the money for an attorney...even if it took you several years to do so.