Deadbeat Dad and Visitation

[Netwit2000]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Kansas

A very good evening to all. I am doing legal research for my sister. She has one 5 yr old son who has a deadbeat dad. The dad has a pattern of being in my nephew's life then dropping out of it without warning, THEN petitioning the court for visitiation. The last time he did this was the end of 2002.

They were never married, but at that time he was asking for joint custody and visitation claiming that my sister had refused him, which wasn't true. The judge ordered them to mediation. They went and he admitted he had often been busy and didn't come around prior, but that she had never just refused him visitation. They set up a visitation plan and he followed it for all of a month or so. Then he dropped out of sight again around May 2003. She's heard not hide nor hair from him since. He quit his job and is now in arrears on child support to the tune of over $4000. In fact, until she got this notice in April, we weren't even sure he still lived in State!

Well in April 2005, out of the clear blue, he has a lawyer petition the court for visitation, of course asking for every other weekend and every holiday under the sun! He has gotten a lawyer this time, whereas before he didn't have one. But this time he had the sense to only ask for visitation as opposed to custody as well.

My sister is a single mom with health problems so she doesn't work. There is no child support coming in either. Our family helps and she gets SSI for my nephew who was diagnosed as autistic last May (2004). The father doesn't even know this because he has been absent for so long with no contact.

So (whew!) to my question. In Ks. if one party contacts legal aid before another (i.e. he contacted the ks. legal aid in 2002, even though he was a Mo. resident) then the second one to contact is ineligible for help because of "conflict of interest." So in a nutshell, my sister can't get help. I believe he did this on purpose so she couldn't get an attorney there, knowing she couldn't afford one.

So I would like to speak on her behalf in court. I am filing a continuance on her behalf tomorrow to get the hearing moved from May 9th to sometime beyond so I have time to compile the info as to why the father taking a child who is autistic, plus doesn't know him from Adam, should only be allowed visits in the home. Do you think I can, or she can ask for this even though I'm not a lawyer?

In fact, any help anyone can give would be appreciated from the bottom of our hearts. I think we're gonna be on our own with this as far as representation and while visitation is not a problem as long as he chooses to come to my sister's home, taking him is out of the question. Feedback?

Thanks for bearing with the long story, but thought it would be better if the whole story was known.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Kansas

A very good evening to all. I am doing legal research for my sister. She has one 5 yr old son who has a deadbeat dad. The dad has a pattern of being in my nephew's life then dropping out of it without warning, THEN petitioning the court for visitiation. The last time he did this was the end of 2002.

They were never married, but at that time he was asking for joint custody and visitation claiming that my sister had refused him, which wasn't true. The judge ordered them to mediation. They went and he admitted he had often been busy and didn't come around prior, but that she had never just refused him visitation. They set up a visitation plan and he followed it for all of a month or so. Then he dropped out of sight again around May 2003. She's heard not hide nor hair from him since. He quit his job and is now in arrears on child support to the tune of over $4000. In fact, until she got this notice in April, we weren't even sure he still lived in State!

Well in April 2005, out of the clear blue, he has a lawyer petition the court for visitation, of course asking for every other weekend and every holiday under the sun! He has gotten a lawyer this time, whereas before he didn't have one. But this time he had the sense to only ask for visitation as opposed to custody as well.

My sister is a single mom with health problems so she doesn't work. There is no child support coming in either. Our family helps and she gets SSI for my nephew who was diagnosed as autistic last May (2004). The father doesn't even know this because he has been absent for so long with no contact.

So (whew!) to my question. In Ks. if one party contacts legal aid before another (i.e. he contacted the ks. legal aid in 2002, even though he was a Mo. resident) then the second one to contact is ineligible for help because of "conflict of interest." So in a nutshell, my sister can't get help. I believe he did this on purpose so she couldn't get an attorney there, knowing she couldn't afford one. HOLD UP! This is crazy.

1. It doesn't matter what state he lives in now, it doesn't change the jurisdiction of the issuing state.

2. He didn't do anything on purpose. Get a different lawyer.


So I would like to speak on her behalf in court. I am filing a continuance on her behalf tomorrow to get the hearing moved from May 9th to sometime beyond so I have time to compile the info as to why the father taking a child who is autistic, plus doesn't know him from Adam, should only be allowed visits in the home. Do you think I can, or she can ask for this even though I'm not a lawyer? You can't represent her in court. She can represent herself if she doesn't have a lawyer.

In fact, any help anyone can give would be appreciated from the bottom of our hearts. I think we're gonna be on our own with this as far as representation and while visitation is not a problem as long as he chooses to come to my sister's home, taking him is out of the question. Feedback? You nor your sister can decide where he visits. The judge does that. If your sister goes into court with this attitude, she will look stupid and uneducated.

Thanks for bearing with the long story, but thought it would be better if the whole story was known.

Your sister needs a lawyer...Neither of you know what your doing. You are just full of emotion. You need to stop the emotion, because emotion is not the law.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Kansas

A very good evening to all. I am doing legal research for my sister. She has one 5 yr old son who has a deadbeat dad. The dad has a pattern of being in my nephew's life then dropping out of it without warning, THEN petitioning the court for visitiation. The last time he did this was the end of 2002.

They were never married, but at that time he was asking for joint custody and visitation claiming that my sister had refused him, which wasn't true. The judge ordered them to mediation. They went and he admitted he had often been busy and didn't come around prior, but that she had never just refused him visitation. They set up a visitation plan and he followed it for all of a month or so. Then he dropped out of sight again around May 2003. She's heard not hide nor hair from him since. He quit his job and is now in arrears on child support to the tune of over $4000. In fact, until she got this notice in April, we weren't even sure he still lived in State!

Well in April 2005, out of the clear blue, he has a lawyer petition the court for visitation, of course asking for every other weekend and every holiday under the sun! He has gotten a lawyer this time, whereas before he didn't have one. But this time he had the sense to only ask for visitation as opposed to custody as well.

My sister is a single mom with health problems so she doesn't work. There is no child support coming in either. Our family helps and she gets SSI for my nephew who was diagnosed as autistic last May (2004). The father doesn't even know this because he has been absent for so long with no contact.

So (whew!) to my question. In Ks. if one party contacts legal aid before another (i.e. he contacted the ks. legal aid in 2002, even though he was a Mo. resident) then the second one to contact is ineligible for help because of "conflict of interest." So in a nutshell, my sister can't get help. I believe he did this on purpose so she couldn't get an attorney there, knowing she couldn't afford one.

So I would like to speak on her behalf in court. I am filing a continuance on her behalf tomorrow to get the hearing moved from May 9th to sometime beyond so I have time to compile the info as to why the father taking a child who is autistic, plus doesn't know him from Adam, should only be allowed visits in the home. Do you think I can, or she can ask for this even though I'm not a lawyer?

In fact, any help anyone can give would be appreciated from the bottom of our hearts. I think we're gonna be on our own with this as far as representation and while visitation is not a problem as long as he chooses to come to my sister's home, taking him is out of the question. Feedback?

Thanks for bearing with the long story, but thought it would be better if the whole story was known.

You can't represent your sister....you are not a member of the bar.

If she can't afford an attorney she can represent herself, and you can certainly help her prepare.

Yes, its possible that since he has been awol for basically 2 years...and the child has a disability that requires special attention....that visitation could be ordered as supervised. It's not guaranteed....its just possible.

Its going to be important to show his past patterns where visitation and litigation is concerned. For example:...the last time he litigated visitation he exercised it for a month and then disappeared. The judge needs to know that. Particularly if that wasn't the first time he did something like that. It would also be wise to file a contempt petition on his failure to pay child support and request that it also be heard at the same time.

 

[Netwit2000]

Thanks for the responses.

So (whew!) to my question. In Ks. if one party contacts legal aid before another (i.e. he contacted the ks. legal aid in 2002, even though he was a Mo. resident) then the second one to contact is ineligible for help because of "conflict of interest." So in a nutshell, my sister can't get help. I believe he did this on purpose so she couldn't get an attorney there, knowing she couldn't afford one. HOLD UP! This is crazy.

You're absolutely right, it is crazy, but the Legal Aid supervisor at the head office today told me that often in cases like this, one party will apply with full knowledge that they don't qualify just so that the other party will then not be able to get help due to the conflict of interest stipulation. I don't write the jokes, I just tell em.

Your sister needs a lawyer...Neither of you know what your doing. You are just full of emotion. You need to stop the emotion, because emotion is not the law.

Actually I'm pretty calm. What's frustrating is that of course, we know she needs a lawyer, she can't afford one, nor can anyone in my family. So we're doing the best we can compiling information and researching. Thus the questions here. My only question was whether or not I could speak, meaning be a mouth piece, for her in court if she asked. I have sense enough to know I can't represent her as legal counsel. I'm not a lawyer.

She gets very nervous and scared. I'm cool headed and logical. Plus I have all the arguments, humbly, far from arrogantly or frivilously, organized to share with the judge. We had to do it ourselves before.

No disrespect to you intended, but believe me as far as I'm able I have a handle on what needs to be done and the decorum it needs to be presented with. I was a lawyer in a previous life

Sometimes what comes across as "crazy" is sadly all too true.

 

[stealth2]

She gets very nervous and scared. I'm cool headed and logical. Plus I have all the arguments, humbly, far from arrogantly or frivilously, organized to share with the judge. We had to do it ourselves before.

No disrespect to you intended, but believe me as far as I'm able I have a handle on what needs to be done and the decorum it needs to be presented with. I was a lawyer in a previous life

Then your sister had better get a handle on her nerves and fear. You will not be permitted to act as her mouthpiece.

 

[Netwit2000]

You can't represent your sister....you are not a member of the bar.

If she can't afford an attorney she can represent herself, and you can certainly help her prepare.

Yes, its possible that since he has been awol for basically 2 years...and the child has a disability that requires special attention....that visitation could be ordered as supervised. It's not guaranteed....its just possible.

Its going to be important to show his past patterns where visitation and litigation is concerned. For example:...the last time he litigated visitation he exercised it for a month and then disappeared. The judge needs to know that. Particularly if that wasn't the first time he did something like that. It would also be wise to file a contempt petition on his failure to pay child support and request that it also be heard at the same time.

Thanks, I am the one that usually does the preparation. I think in my attempt to type quickly, I was unclear. I know I can't represent her as an attorney would, I just meant speak, be her mouthpiece since she gets so nervous.

Before the order was for him to visit at her home, so we didn't decide it, based on what we presented, the judge thought it best. I just have to get all the autism information together to show how the situation might impact him.

I plan to do some type of listing, table or graph to show the pattern. I did a 10 page document during the mediation that actually I can draw from for this time. The case has never been closed and actually has the same case number as before, so I'm thinking the judge will have all the information from mediation and what was submitted before. It is the same judge.

She just got a notice a couple of days ago that since he was so bright and filed this motion, now they (the district court) have filed a motion for him to appear in court about his unpaid child support in July, so he's probably shot himself in the foot on that one. I would think one of the first questions a judge would ask is why he has money to pay a lawyer but hasn't paid child support in over a year and a half!

Thanks again for the response.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks, I am the one that usually does the preparation. I think in my attempt to type quickly, I was unclear. I know I can't represent her as an attorney would, I just meant speak, be her mouthpiece since she gets so nervous.

Before the order was for him to visit at her home, so we didn't decide it, based on what we presented, the judge thought it best. I just have to get all the autism information together to show how the situation might impact him.

I plan to do some type of listing, table or graph to show the pattern. I did a 10 page document during the mediation that actually I can draw from for this time. The case has never been closed and actually has the same case number as before, so I'm thinking the judge will have all the information from mediation and what was submitted before. It is the same judge.

She just got a notice a couple of days ago that since he was so bright and filed this motion, now they (the district court) have filed a motion for him to appear in court about his unpaid child support in July, so he's probably shot himself in the foot on that one. I would think one of the first questions a judge would ask is why he has money to pay a lawyer but hasn't paid child support in over a year and a half!

Thanks again for the response.

Yes, the judge will have all of the previous information in the file. However...judges usually don't have time to read through the whole file in advance of the case...therefore its generally important to remind the judge of relevant past history.

The past order was for him to visit in the home...He chose only to exercise that visitation for one month. That alone should be sufficient (if properly presented to the judge) to ensure that any new visitation order would start out supervised. With the autism added to the mix it should be a "slam dunk". HOWEVER....nothing is guaranteed in a court of law, so its critical to concisely and logically present the information to the judge.