Deadbeat Dad is back, taking son to ??????

[amanning]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My son's father just decided he wants him for Spring Break vacation. He had his sister call me yesterday to inform me that he was picking him up on Friday. He hasn't picked him up since June of last year. I know it doesn't matter, he legally has the right to pick him up.

OK, I heard he moved to another city through the grapevine, but he doesn't know that I know that. Not once in 3 years since our divorce has he notified me of phone number or address change as our decree states he has to. I am freaking out because I'm pretty sure he is dealing drugs.... and I don't know where he is taking my son. I've requested through his sister his phone number and address. I know the city, but no known address or phone number. Do I have to let my son go with him without this information? Even if he does consent to the information, how do I know it is legitimate? What if he leaves with my son, shows up providing false info and by the time I can check it out he is gone? My attorney has requested this info from his attorney about 7 days ago, but they have 30 days for "Discovery". How can I ensure that my son is safe? I am so scared for him.

Hysterical Mom

 

[SingleMom67]

My attorney has requested this info from his attorney about 7 days ago, but they have 30 days for "Discovery".

What did you "attorney" tell you? How old is the child? It makes a difference.

 

[amanning]

He just turned 7 years old. My attorney said he would check with his attorney, but last we checked, his attorney wasn't even aware that he had moved.

 

[ceara19]

If you don't let dad have the child you are in violation of the order. It's irrelevent if HE is also in violation for not sending a notification of the COA. The fact that you've waited until now to bring up HIS violation doesn't really bode well for you. In court, it will appear as though the only reason you are bringing up the violation NOW is because he is exercising his visitation rights, which is true. Unless you have PROOF that he is dealing drugs, that can't be used as a reason to deny his visitation. You will have a much better case in court if you hold up your end of the agreement. That way when the matter DOES go to court, you can ask for a stipulation that only allows him to exercise his visitation if he provides a current address and phone number.

 

[nicetryadmin]

I am freaking out because I'm pretty sure he is dealing drugs.... and I don't know where he is taking my son.

"Pretty sure"?? So, you do not know then. And unless you can prove he is, then you have nothing. He can be "pretty sure" you're a whore and bringing your johns back to your house. See how that works?

I've requested through his sister his phone number and address.

So has no legal obligation to tell you squat, nor do you have any right to involve other parties.

I know the city, but no known address or phone number. Do I have to let my son go with him without this information?

Yes, you do. Two separate things.

Even if he does consent to the information, how do I know it is legitimate? What if he leaves with my son, shows up providing false info and by the time I can check it out he is gone? My attorney has requested this info from his attorney about 7 days ago, but they have 30 days for "Discovery".

So how come you haven't posed these questions to your attorney? If you have, then I suspect your attorney told you via discovery or addressing this in court.

Plus with Discovery, no less than 28 days from date of service is allowed. He can also ask for extra time as well. Regardless, you must let the child go on visitation as spelled out in the order.

How can I ensure that my son is safe? I am so scared for him.

You've given no reason -- only what you "feel." Irrelevant.

Also, I might have missed this but HOW IN THE HELL IS HE A DEADBEAT DAD???! Stop using words you don't know the meaning of.

 

[Ohiogal]

So has no legal obligation to tell you squat, nor do you have any right to involve other parties.


Actually yes he does have an obligation to let the CP know where he is living if the child will be with him. If it was for a four hour stint once a month not so much but since the child will be sending a long period of time (a week) with him, mom has the right to an emergency number and in this case i believe it was required by the court.


Also, I might have missed this but HOW IN THE HELL IS HE A DEADBEAT DAD???! Stop using words you don't know the meaning of.

Breathe NTA. It is okay. But I agree with your overall outcome -- mom gotta let the child go. She should have griped when she found out he moved and tried to get an address then rather than a week before the fact.

 

[nicetryadmin]

Breathe NTA. It is okay. But I agree with your overall outcome -- mom gotta let the child go. She should have griped when she found out he moved and tried to get an address then rather than a week before the fact.

I had a typo, but I was referring to the sister not having any obligation to give her any information. Nowadays with the internet, it's pretty easy to find anyone's address(es).

Breathing now. LOL

 

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My son's father just decided he wants him for Spring Break vacation. He had his sister call me yesterday to inform me that he was picking him up on Friday. He hasn't picked him up since June of last year. I know it doesn't matter, he legally has the right to pick him up.

OK, I heard he moved to another city through the grapevine, but he doesn't know that I know that. Not once in 3 years since our divorce has he notified me of phone number or address change as our decree states he has to. I am freaking out because I'm pretty sure he is dealing drugs.... and I don't know where he is taking my son. I've requested through his sister his phone number and address. I know the city, but no known address or phone number. Do I have to let my son go with him without this information? Even if he does consent to the information, how do I know it is legitimate? What if he leaves with my son, shows up providing false info and by the time I can check it out he is gone? My attorney has requested this info from his attorney about 7 days ago, but they have 30 days for "Discovery". How can I ensure that my son is safe? I am so scared for him.

Hysterical Mom

You do need a phone number or a way to contact him when he has the child.

 

[FrustratedMommy]

Well honestly I think a phone number is important to have. What if there is an emergency? I would ask him to provide that number and verify it. Maybe I am just to nervous about things like this.

I would hate for him to take the child, and you have no contact info for him. Granted the court order does say you have to let the child go, but it still makes me "nervous nancy", when I see that a parent has no contact information for the other.

 

[ceara19]

Well honestly I think a phone number is important to have. What if there is an emergency? I would ask him to provide that number and verify it. Maybe I am just to nervous about things like this.

I would hate for him to take the child, and you have no contact info for him. Granted the court order does say you have to let the child go, but it still makes me "nervous nancy", when I see that a parent has no contact information for the other.

Send the child with a prepaid cell phone so you can contact each other in case of an EMERGENCY. There a lots of parents that can't AFFORD a phone and they're still allowed to see their kids.

 

[stealth2]

Tracfone has very good deals on reconditioned phones.

 

[nightday77]

visitation

You should of found out more info prior to the problem you are having now! How do you know he is a drug dealer, if you only know from the "grapevine" his residence

 

[amanning]

ceara19 - There was no reason for me to care where he lives until now. I didn't care where he lived, or the fact that he even lives for that matter. Attorneys are expensive thus the reason I didn't take him back to court for each violation. It matters NOW because my child is involved and he will be there at his address. It has nothing to do with stopping visitation. Did I say I had PROOF he was dealing drugs - NO!!! But how can I report a suspicion of it to CPS unless I know where he lives? Read below and I'll explain more.

nicetryadmin - Please stop being ridiculous by disecting posts. You are not helping anyone by acting like a complete jerk. Please do not respond to my posts if you cannot be respectful.

Why is he a deadbeat dad? He owes me $17K in back child support, which has nothing to do with his current address. Let me explain to make A VERY LONG STORY SHORT: I knew the man for 14 YEARS, I know who he is hanging out with up there, and I know what they are into, and I know what he was doing behind my back for years and years.

He has money, but has NO JOB! Friends of friends have seen him around my city for visits driving a BRAND NEW VEHICLE PULLING A JETSKI, and I don't receive a DIME of CS. I am not using that as an excuse to DENY visitation! As a mother, I have learned to trust my instincts because they have always been right. Even more reason for me to be afraid of what my child will be exposed to, why do you think I'm concerned?

nicetryadmin - are you saying you wouldn't be concerned if there was suspicion of drug use and dealings? What kind of a parent ARE YOU!?!?!! ANY PARENT WHO LOVES THEIR CHILD WOULD BE CONCERNED FOR THEM!
He can HAVE his visit, but I need an address so I can have the state check on my son's well being, and a PHONE NUMBER to exercise my right to one phone call per day, and also for emergencies.

His sister is listed as the contact person in our divorce decree, because he was convicted of stalking me and terroristic threats. She contacted me that he wants his visit. I have no way to contact him for an address, so why wouldn't I contact her?

OK, here is the EXACT WORDING from my Decree:
"It is ordered that sole managing conservator (ME) has the right to receive information from the other parent concernting the health, education and welfare of the children. It is ordered that (HIM) shall notify this court (ME) by US certified mail, return receipt requested of any change of address or termination of employment within 7 days"


The phone is a good idea, I wish I could send him with a phone, but he is 7 years old and a special ed child. He does not know how to use a phone and has to take several medications just to function. His father would dispose of it and he would forget he even had a phone, if I could even teach him how to use it. :-(

We have used all kinds of searches to find the address, no luck.

 

[SingleMom67]

I was scratching my head at the idea of giving a 7 year old a cell phone too. Sorry, but that's a lot of responsibility for a child so young (whether or not he or she has special needs or not). Given the child is so young and the father hasn't seen him in close to a year, is it feasible OP could file for an emergency custody provision whereby father would have to re-establish a relationship under supervised visitation first before simply just taking him? Especially if the child is in fact special needs?

 

[fairisfair]

if you decide to send him, preset a cell phone so that he only has one button that he has to push to get Mom on the line, and Practice with him making calls before he leaves, just between you and I, oh boy, they are gonna slam me for this, I don't blame you, contempt or not, no way in hell I would send my child under those circumstances. No Way!