Defamation of Character

[Chancy949]

There is no real "Reader's Digest" version. I am giving as few details as possible. Back in Oct. 1998, while my husband, along with his squadron, was deployed in the Persian Gulf, his CO's wife called and reported me to Child protective services for child neglect. She sent an email to her husband stating that she had done so, and that if she was wrong that I could and I quote "just get over it."
The situation starts when several women in the squadron started gossiping and picked me as their target. They said that my house was always a mess and that I never cleaned and neglected my child. That I was suicidal because I took paxil, and slept all day. One of these women I'd only met once and that was at a yard sale she was having, (she was never at my house) and the other came to my house MAYBE 3 times in 1 year, I will call her T. I would go to T's house and she always kept it ice cold, so I would put my child's sweat suit on her (she was a 13 months old at the time) T told these women that I never changed my child's clothes. My child picked up a piece of dog food while at her house and put it in her mouth, I did not see this but T did and said nothing to me. I later found it after I got home and was HORRIFIED. T told everyone that I let my daughter eat dog food. As you can see she would take a normal situation and twist it around This is only a few of the LIST they sent to the CO's wife. The Keywives are our support group, but in this case, they turned to gossip rather than help. No one came to see if any of this talk was true. No one called to see if I was OK (since I was so suicidal, I was not). The CO's wife filed a report with Child Protective Services (I've never met the women, and she has never been to my house). I was at the mall with a friend at the time the Naval investigator showed up along with CPS, so they called the MP's and they entered my home. When I got home, the whole neighborhood was asking me why the PM's were in my house!!! My husband called that night and told me what the CO's wife had done. I cried for hours. He was very supportive, but this caused us great stress. In CA children are wards of the state and they can take a child easily. The NI and CPS showed up the next morning and were shocked to know that I was expecting them and that I knew who called them and filed the charges. After talking with me the naval investigator said that he was VERY disappointed with the Keywives and that they handled this whole situation very poorly, and that this investigation was a "waste of tax payers money" and that they had REAL cases to investigate. They put that the charges were "unsubstantiated." I requested an apology from the squadron but they told my husband that he did not want to "get into a pissing contest with a CO." I dropped it because I did not want to mess with my husbands career. Needless to say I was very traumatized by the whole event and had trouble "getting over it." We have since not participated in any squadron events in protest. BUT NOW the situation has reared its ugly head. The former CO has contacted the new CO (they are old war buddies). The squadron is getting ready to deploy again. After talking with the old CO, the new one has decided he does not want my husband to deploy with them because of "problems with me" and that they don't think he'll be a good marine if he doesn't get this up coming promotion. I am pissed. We are wanting to get out of the Marines, so his career is no longer an issue. We could be out as soon as Nov. 2001, but they are REFUSING to give him word on whether he is deploying with them or not, even though they know they do not want him. (because of trouble with ME!!!) Do I have recourse? I know I can not sue the government, but I can sue the CO's wife, right? Do I have a defamation of Character case? How will the CPS investgation affect my future if I want to adopt and such?

 

[JETX]

Regretfully, but based on your message, you probably do not have a cause of action.

As I read your case, here are the 'defamations' you claim:
1) Your house was a mess.
2) You neglected your child.
3) You were suicidal.
4) You slept all day.

Your post further:
1) Does not challenge the truthfulness (or lack of) that your house was a mess. Also, this is totally subjective, what is a mess to one person, may be 'spic-and-span' to another. No real defamation here, and certainly no damage.
2) Your post says that their claim was due to the APPEARANCE of never changing childs clothes due to your having him/her wear the same sweatsuit each time at one's house. As your post says, this by itself, is a true statement. Further, the insinuation was made that by 'letting' him/her eat dogfood, that was abuse. Again, your own post said that the child DID eat dogfood.
3) Statement was made that you were suicidal. Your own post confirms that.
4) There is no mention in your reply on whether you did in fact, "sleep all day". If it is true, it is not defamation. If not true, again, no damage.

Truth is an absolute defense against a charge of 'defamation'. So, anything that was said about you or against you, if true, is NOT defamation and can't be acted upon. Further, defamation must be "communication to third parties of false statements about a person that injure the reputation of or deter others from associating with that person". You would have to PROVE to a court that the statements were FALSE, and that 'they' injured your reputation.

 

[Chancy949]

misunderstood my case

I think you miss understood my case. I want to sue the lady who reported me. She did so totally on hearsay. What part of my letter said I was suicidal? The fact I was on Paxil? I never neglected my daughter, and my house was not a mess, I did not sleep all day, I have witnesses to this.
The lady did so recklessly because she did not check out to see if the rumors were true and said if they were not true and she was wrong that I could just get over it. I have a Naval Investigators report that states that the charges were FALSE and UNTRUE. That there was no basis for the investigation.
My reputation IS ruined with the Squadron because the new CO doesn't want my husband to deploy with them because of PROBLEMS IN THE PAST WITH ME. I have never caused any problems for them. I was not even an issue until Jan when the CO who's wife did this to me, came out and talked to the new CO. They are friends. All of this was 2 years ago, so why are they bringing it up now?? To me, this says my reputation with the squadron is ruined and affecting my husband's career.

 

[JETX]

Okay, lets say that EVERYTHING that was said about you was false.

You claimed in the latest post, "this says my reputation with the squadron is ruined and affecting my husband's career." That does not match what you said in your earlier post ("We are wanting to get out of the Marines, so his career is no longer an issue."). Since it isn't an issue, no damage was done to his career.

Now, lets look at YOUR damages.... oops, there aren't any. You suffered some embarassment and maybe some 'emotions', neither of which are monetary damages. In fact, after NI investigation, all claims were found 'not supported', so that in itself shows that the 'system' works.

My suggestions:
If you want to pursue this, make sure that your husbands record includes the circumstances and your exoneration. Make sure that his CO knows the facts. Go talk with the base chaplain, he might be able to help you get past this.
Personally, I hate to see any good Marine get the shaft here, but your husband has the right attitude. Sometimes you got to take a little crap as fertilizer so that you can grow. If his deployment is delayed due to concerns about your stability, make sure that the appropriate members of the command know the facts and that your mental stability is not an issue. Then, forget about the other crap in life and move forward. Semper Fi!!

 

[Chancy949]

Question: Anyone who reports child abuse or neglect to the local welfare agency in good faith is immune from any liability for this report.ANSWER: True. Persons reporting in good faith (reasonable belief) may not be criminally prosecuted or unjustly sued for libel, slander, defamation, invasion of privacy, or breach of confidentiality. A person who knowingly or recklessly makes a false report is not protected by immunity.

By Mrs. F saying that IF the charges were NOT true, I could just "get over it" was reckless. By reporting only on hearsay was reckless. She knew there was a chance the charges were false or else she would never have said that.

So you are saying she DID NOT do this recklessly??? I NEVER met the woman and she was NEVER at my house. She based her charges on hearsay.

If you have been defamed you may seek both actual damages, to recover the harm that you have suffered, and punitive damages to punish the person who made the remark (and serve as an example to deter others).
Do you really think a squadron should be able to call CPS on a family with out first meeting them and trying to help them first? IF they would have done this, NONE of this would be an issue now.

Are you saying my reputation with the squadron is not ruined??? That people DON'T view me negatively because of it? Obviously the current CO DOES!!!!

We have made his career no longer an issue because of the crap they are giving him now about it. IF they were not acting this way we would stay in. He has been in 12 years. They are with holding information about what they want to do with him. They have "sat" on his extenstion for 5 months now, knowing full well they do not want him to go. I'm totally stable. I was put on paxil because I took Depo-provera and had a negative effect on me (it can cause depression). My doc put me on paxil to get me back to normal. (that was 2 years before this happened)
They can make it so that we won't get his separation pay. Since we have decided to get out. (its about 30,000). They know he won't go to Okinawa,(he has to extend to go)
As for going to the Chaplin, well, I don't think that patting me on the head and saying "that's just what officers can do to enlisted families" is going to help much. I've met the Chaplins here, NO THANK YOU!!!

 

[JETX]

Like a new puppy, you just keep dragging this bag of 'stuff' into the house and tearing open the bag so that we can all see it. ENOUGH!!!

In my last post, I gave you the FULL benefit of the doubt, this lady told falsehoods about you!!! You have been embarassed and humiliated beyond all belief. This has impacted your family life, your future and your husbands career!! Okay, with that said, what do you want us to do?? I have already offered you valid advice THREE times and all you want to do is argue about the why and wherefore. Quit whining and moaning "Woe is me", and if you are going to do something do it!!!

I already told you to:
1) "Make sure that your husbands record includes the circumstances and your exoneration.
2) "Make sure that his CO knows the facts.
3) "Go talk with the base chaplain, he might be able to help you get past this.
I will add the following: Like it or not, this entire situation is probably going to be controlled by the MCOJ (Military Code of Justice). If you want, go file a complaint with the SP's, or the command, or JAG. It will probably not give you any piece of mind and could backfire and impact your husband' career anyway.

Face it, this crap happens in life no matter whether we think it is fair or not. And other than just 'get over it', there is really very little you can do. We have all had injustices or rumors or fables attributed to us. We have to try our best to undo them after the fact, but it CANNOT be totally undone. NO ONE SAID THAT LIFE WAS ALWAYS FAIR. Accept life for the unfairness you get sometimes (and be thankfull for the bad things you did that weren't announced to the world) and move on.

NUFF SAID! SEMPER FI!!

 

[Chancy949]

Wow your professionalism blows me away. As for doing something, I already have. Been to the JAG office and have the proper paper work being filed to obtain the copies of the Naval Investigators report and CPS. Will submit those to the CO. They are willing to help me and said they would refer me to a civil attorney because they can't take my case themselves. The reason I keep bringing up stuff, is because you weren't answering my QUESTIONS and miss reading what I was writing!!! (like the part about me being suicidal among other things) We OBVIOUSLY are clashing and not having a meeting of minds. I'm sure you are a competent lawyer, but your sarcasm and snide remarks are unprofessional. How many defamation of character cases have you taken to trial or even seen? Its sad to think we live in a country where people can falsely and recklessly mess with you life and have no recourse. And as for life not being fair, Life is what you make it and in my life, Karma rules. 3 fold baby!!! I'm about to grab a bowl of popcorn and watch the fun.
NUFFF SAID!!!!!!!!
Don't worry, I am paper trained.

 

[JETX]

Finally, after three tries you are doing what I suggested.

I guess I missed the "Thank you!" in your whining and moaning!!

Oh, and while you are eating your popcorn, don't choke on a colonel!!! (HA, couldn't pass that one up!!)

Your welcome!

 

[Nikita_33]

Chancy, I would ignore this flamer if I were you. The snide remarks are most unprofessional- I doubt this is a lawyer at all. If they are, I'm sure they're not making money at it.

 

[TBTN]

from what he put down at the end of each post judgement and recovery sounds like a bill collector or a lawyer representing the company whose credits were owed.

 

[Chancy949]

Thank you all for your support. We are going through with the lawsuit. I will keep you all posted on what is going on with it. The reason he never got a "thank you" was because he never answered my direct questons (the sentences with the "?" at the end of them), and because he didn't tell me anything I hadn't already done.
Once again, thank you all for your positive feed back.

 

[Nikita_33]

No need to explain to us! He obviously didn't deserve a thank you. Good luck, and do keep us posted.

 

[TBTN]

Hope you will be able to have a case to sue. keep us posted we would like to know how it turns out.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Dear Chancy949

I just wanted to give you the following example, sample, interrogatories you will undoubtedly encounter in your proposed Defamation lawsuit. Questions like the following, will be served upon you by the Defendant(s).

Believe me when I tell you, these are only a "taste" of what could be sent to you. And, it only gets worse.



SAMPLE DEFENDANT DEFAMATION INTERROGATORIES


1) Please state at length the names of the Plaintiffs and third party defendants that claim that they are entitled to relief for any alleged defamatory statements.


2) Please state at length the facts upon which you will rely to establish that you have standing to claim that you are entitled to your requested relief.


3) Set forth in detail all other statements that you claim are false and malicious that were made by the defendants against you.


4) As to each such statement that you claim was defamatory, please state

a) The words or statements you claim are defamatory

b) The date and place where the words were spoken or published;

c) The name and address of each person to whom such words were uttered or published.

d) Describe in detail how these statements are false and state at length the factual basis underlying your assertion that these statements are false:

e) Please state what evidence you have to support your claim that these statements are false?

f) Please attach all documents that support your claim that these statements are false;

g) Do you claim that any statement referred to in your answer defamed you?

h) If so, then please state the statements that defamed you.

i) Describe in detail how these statements defamed you and state at length the factual basis underlying your assertion that these statements are defamatory.

j) What is the name and address of each person who ridiculed you or held you in contempt as a result of any statements which you claim to be defamatory.

k) State in detail how you were ridiculed or held in contempt and in what manner your reputation has been injured as a result of this statement.


5) Do you claim that the statements made by the defendants which you claim are defamatory were maliciously made?

6) If so, then please state the basis for your claim of malicious conduct and specify each and every act committed by the defendants on which you will reply to establish your claim of malicious conduct.

7) Do you claim that the statements made by the defendants which you claim are defamatory are per se defamatory?

8) If so, then please state the basis for your claim that the statements are per se defamatory and specify each and every fact on which you will reply to establish your claim.

9) Do you claim that the statements made by the defendants which you claim are defamatory were made by the defendants without obtaining accurate information that was easily available?

10) If so, then please state the basis for your claim that accurate information that was easily available and specify each and every fact on which you will reply to establish your claim.

11) Are there any statements in the following paragraph that are false;

(QUOTE FIRST ALLEGED DEFAMATORY STATEMENT, HERE)


a) If so, then please state the portions of the paragraph that are false and:

b) Describe in detail how are these statements false and state at length the factual basis underlying your assertion that these statements are false:

c) Please state what evidence you have to support your claim that these statements are false?

d) Please attach all documents that support your claim that these statements are false;

e) Do you claim that any statement in this paragraph defamed you?

f) If so, then please state the portions of the paragraph that defamed you.

g) Describe in detail how these statements defamed you and state at length the factual basis underlying your assertion that these statements are defamatory.

h) What is the name and address of each person who ridiculed you or held you in contempt as a result of any statements contained in this paragraph which you claim to be defamatory.

i) State in detail how you were ridiculed or held in contempt and in what manner your reputation has been injured as a result of this statement.

REPEAT INTERROGATORY NUMBER 11 HERE, INCLUDING IT'S SUBPARTS, FOR EACH ALLEGED DEFAMATORY STATEMENT.


Good luck to you.

IAAL

 

[Chancy949]

OK, I think I have all the paper work. (CPS file and Naval investigator's report) I am ONLY suing ONE person (OK her and her husband.) I could care LESS what the other women were saying about me. I'm sorry you misunderstood that. Here it is.
Mrs. F reported to third party "Child Protective Services and her husbands command HMM.XYZ" That I was (whole list of horrible offenses from child endangerment to neglect) All of this is DOCUMENTED with the military Naval Investigator and Child Protective Services. I have 2 witnesses that found the charges to be FALSE and untrue. (which prove the statements about be to be false) (that's with out getting character witnesses) I have my husbands boss who ADMITS my husband's Job/career (whatever you want to call it) has been DAMAGED BECAUSE of this FALSE filing with CPS. I'm ONLY MAD BECAUSE my reputation from this is NOW affecting my huband's Job/career (which affects US, his family)and because of it I NOW HAVE A file WITH CPS even though it was unfounded. What if I want to adopt in a few years? will this report affect me? What if I want to go back to teaching small children AGAIN? Will I be denied a job because I was investigated? I was very tramatized by the whole event and would not let anyone I did not know VERY WELL into my house for about 2 years, for fear of not trusting ANYONE. My priest can attest to this. I have recieved counseling Steve, I'm just pissed that after 2 and a half years, they brought it back up. This is not a simple case of "gossip." I don't care what people think of me. I care that they tried to have my child taken away from me. I understand that one is protected from Slander IF they file with CPS in good faith. This woman DID NOT. She's never met me, never been to my house and did not do her job properly. She knew there was a good chance the charges were false because of her email (which we have a copy of) stating that she filed a complain and that if it was wrong I could just get over it. I guess its more a matter of protecting my family than revenge. My husband totally supports us suing them (the F's) he thinks they will settle out of court because of his career. I am requesting most of all, an attachment to my CPS file about how it was filed wrongly and an apology IN WRITING. If the judge awards me damages, great. I just don't want this to happen to any other wife. I would like to set a president about how squadrons can call in CPS. BEFORE CPS can ever be called, intervention must first be attempted. I am not the first person this woman has hurt. But I would like to be the last.