delinquint child support

[nellmell]

my residence is texas. the problem and question is my fiance with whom i live is delinquent on his child support to be exact 43,000 give or take. he has only seen his son about 6 times in the last six years we have been together. there is no way we can afford a attorny and his court date is july 26th. if he goes to jail that will just put him further behind. i believe he has decided to give up his parental rights even thought it wont do any thing about the past money i know. how does he go about this court date without a attorny and not make the situation any worse than it allready is, paying the past is going to leave him with almost no money to apply to our household i am looking at a second job just so we can survive. think heavens everything is in my name and we do not have credit cards,banking accounts of any means,no loans we are just people living pay check to pay check. please there has got to be a way to do this without a attorny. thanks nellmell

 

[Grandma B]

Sorry, but your fiance sounds like a man who decided a long time ago to NOT support his child. If he owes $43,000 for the past 6 years, that means a mother and child have done without that amount during the same period. His only seeing the child 6 times in the last 6 years has nothing to do with not paying child support--they are UNRELATED.

He can give up his parental rights if he wishes, but paying child support is not a "right"--it's an obligation, and the only way he can give that up is if there is another responsible adult who wants to adopt the child, thus assuming the obligation. Of course, he would still owe the back support even then.

Whether to retain an attorney is his choice. What will make a bigger difference in the case is the luck of the draw where judges are concerned.

If the mother has been receiving state assistance, he owes them rather than her, and they have more resources to make him pay.

Good luck. You sound like an everyday, hard-working woman who fell for a deadbeat dad.

 

[issaka]

And this is the guy your gonna marry. Instead of encouraging him to do right, you are supporting what is wrong. And on top of that, you want to request assistance. Go ahead pay the money to get an attorney. That seems to be whats important. Or wait, maybe you can put the attorneys fees toward your step-child. But then that would be the right thing to do.

 

[p towle]

He maybe able to rel rights if there is an adoptive 2nd parent. ... and maybe negociate arrears. there are sites on search engines that can give free advise on child support debt settlements.
remember the best predictor of ones future behavior is based on the past behavior.

 

[EEck]

The 13th amendment to the constitution prohibits jailing a
person for not being able to pay of a debt. Good luck.
My x is $24,000 behind, and I know the kids and I will never
see it.

 

[craftymom]

Unless I'm mistaken---and someone will jump in to correct me if I am --- child support is not considered a debt. It is an obligation. That's why it's not covered by filing bankruptcy.

 

[MySonsMom]

Your right CraftyMom, this man WILL go to jail at some point in his life for these arrearages. Judges sentence many deadbeat parents to jail time for not paying support.

To the original poster: CAUTION BEFORE ENTERING!

In lack of better terms, you are entering into a relationship where this man has AT LEAST $45,000 worth of obligations that WILL need to be paid. Are you prepared to support this gentleman in years to come when his paychecks/income tax returns are garnished to pay the Mother of his child the support she well deserves? If you are, then good luck and congrats on your new found life.

 

[TickledPink]

I wouldn't marry him until the whole matter is resolved and the money paid. If you go into it working two jobs so that he can pay the arrearages or get a lawyer, you'll end up not only resenting him, but, the child he made.

What I would like to know is how someone gets that far behind in child support without being put in jail or having everything they own taken away from them. I've read responses where they threaten such things, but, it seems to me that it never really happens. It makes me wonder if someone really has to pay child support if they don't want to. My deadbeat ex decided about 7 months ago that he no longer was going to pay voluntarily and has job hopped ever since. Now he's going to move to another state where I will most certainly not know where he is working and won't be able to have his wages garnished. So, I ask again. What is there in this country that actually enforces someone to pay their child support? I'm in Indiana if that helps.

 

[mommy569]

Tickled Pink

It definately does make it harder when they move to another state. Is your support going through the courts? We were living in NY and my ex moved to WA, his support payments are garnished out of his paycheck, that is when they can find him. Honestly he has had at least 8 jobs in the past 12 months. But I do get his tax return check every year and will continue to get it until he is paid in full.

 

[mommy569]

nellmell

no offense but run do not walk and get out of there. You have gotten yourself involved with a man who seems to have no integrity, or conscience. He has a child. Whether or not he sees that child should make no difference. Doesn't he feel anything for his child? Doesn't he want to make sure that his child has the best of everything? Think about it, if he can do this to one woman, who is to say he won't leave you high and dry also? Sorry but he doesn't sound like such a catch and I can't understand how or why you would support such behavior.

 

[TickledPink]

I have been having his wages garnished since January and he just started his 3rd job last week I believe to avoid paying it. He says he's not moving right now, but, I can't believe anything he says. I'm in Indiana. I was told by CSE that the money he receives monthly from being in the National Guards is too small to garnish. I don't understand this. Do I have a right to insist they garnish this monthly check which I think has to be around $300 at least? He just came home from guard camp where he brought about $2000 I'm guessing home with him. Since I wasn't harnishing his guard money I didn't get any of that. I did receive his $69 state tax check, but, it will be next year before I can get the federal. You say you have received his tax refund every year and will continue to do so until it is paid in full. Is it a sizeable amount. If it were me, I would have the least taken out of my check all year to avoid getting any kind of refund if I knew I wasn't going to get it anyway. If I of it, I'm sure there are plenty of dead beats who have too.

 

[mommy569]

Tickled Pink,
I would absolutely check in to having his guard money garnished. It is income, and should be counted towards his child support obligation.

Last year my morons tax check was for around $1400, this year it was $2600. He aparently is not making much money but he can not get his support payments lowered. Long story short he was a correction officer on Rikers Island NY, got hurt went on disability, then was offered a desk job at the same pay, he turned it down. Therefore his payments can not get lower than what they are now which is $252. bi-weekly(that is for 2 children) Not that he pays it but it keeps accruing.

 

[TickledPink]

My ex will be $2500 in arrearage this week. He came up yesterday with his witch wife and her son who is my son'age and they all went to a puttputt/go cart place and bought a package with tokens and had a big time. I don't begrudge my son a good time and I never have cared much what they did at all. However, knowing that he owes that kind of money and is showing no effort to pay anything on it, it kind of honked me off for him to tell me he bought a package deal that probably cost $50 for four people.
Sorry...venting on the question asking forum.

 

[mommy569]

My ex owes over $7000 right now and climbing by the week. He tells the kids and I all about the new van he just bought, and it makes me sick, since I am driving around in a 89 caravan with 198000 miles. UGH. Oh and he had another kid on 7/6. Yup antoher child he can not afford. Wonder what I ever saw in that loser.

 

[TickledPink]

I have heard that when a new child is born the child support can be lowered for existing children. Are you having his wages garnished? What about disability? Can that be garnished? I know that sounds cold, but, they garnish unemployment so why not?
I'm in Indiana. The CSE said they were still going to take him to court for a show cause hearing because he hasn't paid consistently and hardly at all on his own. Also, due to his job changes. He was supposed fired from the first one, but, the second one he didn't call in sick knowing it would be grounds for termination. He was still on his probationary period there. I would think that would look bad for him in court.
I would like to say that for 6 1/2 years of the 7 1/2 we have been divorced he paid consistently. He was supposed to be giving me a clothing allowance twice a year and stopped in 1997. I mentioned it a few times then let it drop because I figured as long as he was paying the child support it was sufficient. I had words with his wife twice last year concerning my son and things she has said to him.
That is when the child support became sporatic. When I garnished his wages in January, he stopped paying all together. Now, it's a big lying game with him. I know that from now on anything I get will have to be taken by fetch or by catch. What I don't understand is why the law lets people go so far without paying their child support. I mean your ex is $7000 behind. I thought the federal government became involved at $5000. They say they can put them in jail, take their driver's licenses, put liens on their homes and garnish wages. It seems to me that garnishing the wages and repeatedly bringing them to court to hear their sob stories and lies is all that ever gets done. What can I do to make my ex feel the weight of his responsibility?