Denied by the School

[GoodDadtoBK]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

This question is in regards to my oldest daughter who is 14. She just started high school today , and when I went in to the office this morning I found out that her mother failed to list me as her father on all of the paperwork. The woman in the office pulled out our custody agreement which is Mom having full legal and physical.

I tried to show the woman my daughter's birth certificate which shows me as the father. I also tried to explain to her that custody has nothing to do with my having access to her school records. She looked at me like I had five heads when I mentioned FERPA to her. I told her ther is nothing on file denying me access, which means they can't keep me from her records.

I was instructed, by the principal, to have mom email the school and give them "permission" to give me information about my daughter. I had to leave the office because I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere. My ex and I are not able to communicate, unfortunately. She has even dropped my last name from our daughter's hyphenated name on all of the school records. The last thing I want to do is ask her to send an email for me.

Am I correct in assuming that I should have access to her school information? Also, mom has listed her husband as dad on all of the new paperwork. Is this something I should turn over to my lawyer, or should I try to contact the school again on my own? I am trying to avoid conflict as much as possible.

Thank you

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

This question is in regards to my oldest daughter who is 14. She just started high school today , and when I went in to the office this morning I found out that her mother failed to list me as her father on all of the paperwork. The woman in the office pulled out our custody agreement which is Mom having full legal and physical.

I tried to show the woman my daughter's birth certificate which shows me as the father. I also tried to explain to her that custody has nothing to do with my having access to her school records. She looked at me like I had five heads when I mentioned FERPA to her. I told her ther is nothing on file denying me access, which means they can't keep me from her records.

I was instructed, by the principal, to have mom email the school and give them "permission" to give me information about my daughter. I had to leave the office because I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere. My ex and I are not able to communicate, unfortunately. She has even dropped my last name from our daughter's hyphenated name on all of the school records. The last thing I want to do is ask her to send an email for me.

Am I correct in assuming that I should have access to her school information? Also, mom has listed her husband as dad on all of the new paperwork. Is this something I should turn over to my lawyer, or should I try to contact the school again on my own? I am trying to avoid conflict as much as possible.

Thank you

Yes, you are. Start climbing the chain of command in the school. ASk to speak to the supt. or the school's atty.

Bring copies of the FERP legislation.

http://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html]Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA)

Also, review your court order. Our orders have this language in them:


From MN FAM 301, Appendix A

VI. PARENTAL RIGHTS FROM MINNESOTA STATUTES, SECTION 518.17, SUBDIVISION 3. UNLESS OTHERWISE PROVIDED BY THE COURT:
A. Each party has the right of access to, and to receive copies of, school, medical, dental, religious training, and other important records and information about the minor children. Each party has the right of access to information regarding health or dental insurance available to the minor children. Presentation of a copy of this order to the custodian of a record or other information about the minor children constitutes sufficient authorization for the release of the record or information to the requesting party.B. Each party shall keep the other informed as to the name and address of the school of attendance of the minor children. Each party has the right to be informed by school officials about the children's welfare, educational progress and status, and to attend school and parent teacher conferences. The school is not required to hold a separate conference for each party.
C. In case of an accident or serious illness of a minor child, each party shall notify the other party of the accident or illness, and the name of the health care provider and the place of treatment.
D. Each party has the right of reasonable access and telephone contact with the minor children.

Does yours?

ETA: http://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/pdf/ferparegs.pdf Look at page 7, first column,

§ 99.4 What are the rights of parents?

An educational agency or institution
shall give full rights under the Act to
either parent, unless the agency or
institution has been provided with
evidence that there is a court order, State
statute, or legally binding document
relating to such matters as divorce,
separation, or custody that specifically
revokes these rights.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

Thanks for the quick reply, CSO.

No, my order does not have that wording in it. In fact, it says nothing in regards to accessing school or medical records. I suppose my next step is doing what is necessary to have that added.

 

[CSO286]

Thanks for the quick reply, CSO.

No, my order does not have that wording in it. In fact, it says nothing in regards to accessing school or medical records. I suppose my next step is doing what is necessary to have that added.

The FERPA language should cover that. Take it to the school. Keep going up till you talk to someone who understands FERPA.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

I am going back there today on my lunch break.

Am I also within my right to insist that the school use my daughter's full last name, not the shortened version that her mother provided? The birth certificate shows moms last name-my last name, but mom left mine off.

 

[CSO286]

I am going back there today on my lunch break.

Am I also within my right to insist that the school use my daughter's full last name, not the shortened version that her mother provided? The birth certificate shows moms last name-my last name, but mom left mine off.

That one I don't know. But I would think they would be required to maintain the child's records under her full, legal name. (But, again, I don't know for sure.)

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

Thanks for your help, CSO!

 

[mistoffolees]

I am going back there today on my lunch break.

Am I also within my right to insist that the school use my daughter's full last name, not the shortened version that her mother provided? The birth certificate shows moms last name-my last name, but mom left mine off.

Sometimes I wonder why I spend so much time on this site helping people out. Then I see a post like this one - and realize that one of the biggest benefits is that it constantly reminds me how easy I have it. My ex was a royal PIA while we were going through divorce, but she has turned into a reasonable co-parent and we really don't have many conflicts these days (and no major ones).

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

It has been 14 years of co-parenting hell. I have learned to pick my battles with my ex. I let most things go, but being denied any information about my daughter at school is one issue that I will not let go. The last name may not seem like a big deal for some, but I want my daughter's HS diploma to have her whole last name, not just her mom's. I can either deal with it now, or I can try to deal with it in four years when she is graduating.

In the end, I know it's not the small things that matter. I know that mom getting her on what is supposed to be my weekend isn't going to ultimately affect my relationship with my daughter. Our relationship is strong enough to where I am able to let the petty things go. I realized a long time ago that it is my daughter who ultimately suffers when her mom and I bicker about the small S...

Sorry for the rant..

 

[CSO286]

Do let us know what happens at the school, hmm?

 

[CJane]

Are there currently any modifications pending?

If not, providing the information to your attorney is pointless.

If there is no language in the order regarding access to records, your ex is being a jerk, but she is not in contempt.

Is the school your daughter attends a public school?

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

Are there currently any modifications pending?

If not, providing the information to your attorney is pointless.

If there is no language in the order regarding access to records, your ex is being a jerk, but she is not in contempt.

Is the school your daughter attends a public school?

Nothing is currently pending with the court. I thought maybe the school receiving a letter from my attorney would prompt them to be more cooperative with me. I am going to try to go in there with a print out from the FERPA website, and if that doesn't work, I will resort to my attorney.

No, she is in private school and has been since pre-school. Her mom has always been very active with the school and sometimes helps out in the office. This has always made it very difficult for me to get any kind of information from the school. I was really hoping that starting a new school this year would would be a different story, but that doesn't appear to be the case.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

Off to the school now. I will post an update when I return.

Thanks again for all of your help

 

[CSO286]

Are there currently any modifications pending?

If not, providing the information to your attorney is pointless.

If there is no language in the order regarding access to records, your ex is being a jerk, but she is not in contempt.

Is the school your daughter attends a public school?

I think the problem here is more the school's, rather than Mom's. The school does not need Mom's consent to provide info the Dad. They are the ones violating FERPA by insisting on it.

 

[CJane]

I think the problem here is more the school's, rather than Mom's. The school does not need Mom's consent to provide info the Dad. They are the ones violating FERPA by insisting on it.

They're NOT violating FERPA. Private schools, almost without exception, are not bound by FERPA.

This is one reason I would fight my ex's desire to send our kids to parochial school even if I didn't have other objections.

That's why, when Dad said 'they acted like they'd never heard of FERPA', I asked if this was public school.

It's likely they really never have heard of it. This is one detail full of devils.