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Denied visitation

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tnchick416

Guest
What is the name of your state? maryland
my ex has denied my court ordered visitation for 5 years now. Over the course of the five years I have constantly called and emailed her about seeing my daughter. She has completely denied it. I haven't taken her to court thus far because during our custody battle I spent $10,000 on two attorney's who in the end told me that I could fight her when she broke the court order which at that point was every other weekend but that the judge would never rule in my favor or repremand her for her behavior. I pay the court ordered child support and my daughter lives with her grandmother. My ex moved back in with her mother after the divorce and the grandmother raises my daughter. My ex only makes minimun wage at a skating rink while I have moved on to a better job, have remarried, have bought a home, my wife stays home full time with our three children. The last time I talked to my daughter, she didn't even have a bedroom...she had a bed in the family room in the basement. What are my options? Why is it fair to be expected of me to pay child support and not be expected of her to obey the court order for visitation? If I violated paying child support I would be in jail, yet nothing happens to her for violating visitation. It seems there is a double standard for men. Can I sue for full custody? Can I sign my rights over? If I sign my rights over does that mean I still have to pay child support? Dont get me wrong, I dont mind paying for my daughter...what I mind is not seeing my daughter and her mother having a brand new car while making next to nothing working the same job she had as a teenager at a skating rink. Please help! Thanks!!
 


The It

Member
If you are in different states or counties, you can have the divorce decree and visitation order filed in her county and state and the police should help you enforce it.

I don't understand how you could let it have been 5 years since you saw your daughter without court intervention, but document all of your visit attempts and attach them to your decree and either hire a real attorney or brush up on the law yourself.

If you have been denied contact without cause, then you should be able to get a contempt ruling which further alerts the authorities and they will help enforce the order. You might also be advised to consider a "change of circumstance" which puts the whole custody deal on the table.

Good luck.
 

kat1963

Senior Member
Your words: Can I sign my rights over? If I sign my rights over does that mean I still have to pay child support?

My answer: YES, you would still have to pay child support. It only terminates your right to ever have visitation or custody, but does not void your obligation to support.

Your words: Can I sue for full custody?

My answer: Probably not a good bet until you establish a relationship. You allowed it to go on to long without doing anything about it. Therefore, I suggest the following:

If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to know which county this was is in MD. You can e-mail me if you wish to keep it private.

Okay, pretty much, unless you are a danger to your children, you lawyer about sucked. Can’t help wonder if it wasn’t one of the free ones that are provided to state employees.

Anyway, while I’m not a lawyer, I would suggest the following to you considering the circumstances that you posted. You stated that you had court ordered visitation: 1. Two weeks before visitation, send bio by certified return receipt mail a letter titled “INTENT ON VISITATION” (big letters on top!!). This of course would be before you scheduled visitation, if after this long you can figure out the dates, if not, chances are she can’t either. Keep everything polite and to the point. Do NOT stray. I intent on taking visitation with my children on the week end of, times ect according to the court order dated yadda, yadda (enclose a copy of it). If there is a problem with this date and/or time, you are advised to contact me immediately by certified mail. (as of now, try to keep everything WRITTEN). If you don’t hear from her, show up. Chances are, she’s not going to be there..okay, you send a DENIAL OF VISITATION letter, the same way. Visitation was denied to me… Do NOT scrimp on sending these letters, you need documentation. I would send about 3 intent & denial letters before I filed a motion to show cause/contempt against her if she doesn’t respond and isn’t home when you go for your court ordered visits.

Work from there. Do see a DIFFERENT family lawyer immediately for his/her advice on your situation.

KAT
 
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tdbird

Guest
not knowing your surcomstance It is a shame you have waited so long to visit with your daughter. As long as you have visitation with her and order to do so, you can not be stopped unless there was a valid reason to do so. She can not stop visits unless you just did not want to enforce your right.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
tnchick416 said:
Why is it fair to be expected of me to pay child support and not be expected of her to obey the court order for visitation? If I violated paying child support I would be in jail, yet nothing happens to her for violating visitation. It seems there is a double standard for men.
Did you file a motion to have her found in contempt? If you didn't take action to enforce your rights - don't blame the system. Blame yourself.
 
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tnchick416

Guest
Mama-tiger ... you missed the point! I'm not blaming the system, I'm merely stating a fact and an observation I have observed first hand.

I see a lot of "why have YOU waited so long" not one thing about my rights as a father being stepped on. Life happens and I dont know about any of you but $ makes the world go round...I can only hire an attorney if I have the $ to. Just because I cant afford to bankrupt myself or my family doesnt mean that I dont love my daughter or think of her daily!
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Simple answer - child support is the right of the child. Visitation is the right of the NCP - if you are not getting what the order specifies, it is up to you to file against her for contempt, etc. She *should* be held accountable - but you're the one who has to take the steps to get the ball rolling.
 

haiku

Senior Member
I don't know of to many family law lawyers who would charge you 10000.00 to tell you you cannot sue for contempt, when the CP denies court ordered visitation.

You screwed up, now get to work, if you want visitation.
 
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tnchick416

Guest
Maybe you didn't read my thread...I asked for advice. Which you obviously dont have, so why waste both of our time.

Wake up already! There are some attorney's out there in it for the money. I have the bill to prove it.

It's real easy to judge without the facts of the situation.

Aside from one person, no one has given any sound advice...this website is a joke!

P.S. Screw yourself haiku!
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I'm sorry, but.....

It's a little hard for me to get worked up over 10k when I spent more than double that in my own divorce. If you're not getting the visitation you're ordered to get, your ONLY recourse is to file against her - with or without a lawyer.
 
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WilliamPatrick

Guest
If you can't afford an attorney and you want justice then you have to do it yourself. Go to the court house and spend some time in the law library. In Texas there is the Texas Family Law practice manual. Shows you what papers to file, how to file them and explains what information need to go in them for many family law issues.
Being a Pro Se litigant is very do-able. The difficult part is figuring out what to file and with whom. Spend the time, you should want to fight for your rights no matter what it takes.
It's a bit dauting at first but after 10 or 12 hours of research you start to understand how the laws work and are applied.
You can do it!
 

bugaboo

Member
The It said:
If you are in different states or counties, you can have the divorce decree and visitation order filed in her county and state and the police should help you enforce it.

I don't understand how you could let it have been 5 years since you saw your daughter without court intervention, but document all of your visit attempts and attach them to your decree and either hire a real attorney or brush up on the law yourself.

If you have been denied contact without cause, then you should be able to get a contempt ruling which further alerts the authorities and they will help enforce the order. You might also be advised to consider a "change of circumstance" which puts the whole custody deal on the table.

Good luck.
How could he have let 5 years go by??? Are you serious? Did you ever stop to think that he has an ex much like Rad's who REFUSES to allow visitation NO MATTER WHAT THE COURTS SAY!!

How can you sit there and give advice to someone when you live with a "mother" who denies visitation?

Oh by the way, thanks for the advice...
 

bugaboo

Member
tnchick416 said:
Maybe you didn't read my thread...I asked for advice. Which you obviously dont have, so why waste both of our time.

Wake up already! There are some attorney's out there in it for the money. I have the bill to prove it.

It's real easy to judge without the facts of the situation.

Aside from one person, no one has given any sound advice...this website is a joke!

P.S. Screw yourself haiku!
tnchick, I tried to email you but you have your email disabled. Please email as soon as you can. Just click on my profile, that click on the like where it says to email me. There are some things that I cannot write on this board...
 

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