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Desperate for advice - sole legal custody

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Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? TX
Married in 98, had son in 99 (6now) separated in early 2001. Never rushed to get divorced, just needed to get away from each other - he had a sexual addication to hookers and massage parlors (which continued til at least this spring - based on evidence found in the apartment)- we sought couples therapy 3xs nothing worked. I pleaded with his family for help, they said it was none of their business what he and I were going thru. (He's the golden son). He never (and still doesnt) paid anything towards support when he moved in with his mother - saw our son 2xs a month because grandma insisted. We remained cordial - and dated other people.He remained on my health insurance and refused to get his own and add our son for additional coverage.

December of 2003 he was being transferred to Dallas, TX - begged to get back together. We began slowly dating - he flew from TX to NY every other weekend to court me (I found out later on the company dime). In June I finally consented and gave notice at work (executive position in NY) - they countered with an amazing offer to extend my contract one year (8/04-5/05), but I would have to work 12 hr days 6-7 days a week. I moved all my/my son's belongings to TX and moved in with a roommate in NY. He agreed to pay for me to commute 1-2xs a month to slowly get settled in TX and find a job while still employed in NY. Everything in the TX apartment was mine - leaving me with a bed and dresser in NY.
I was back in NY no more then 48 hours before he tells me he was just kidding - he's been dating someone else for over 6 months - and he only wanted our son for the year, and he knew I would never let it happen unless we got back together. He then refused to pay for my trips back and forth and insisted I pay afterschool and lunch costs.
I had no back up plan for my son in NY and it was too difficult to find a place at the last minute that would house us both - AND I couldnt afford to move everything back to NY.

SO I flew back and forth every other weekend - his girlfriend was uncomfortable with me staying at the apartment - so I stayed occassionally at local motels. Note : he had/has a tendancy towards physical violence, and whenever I would threaten to tell someone, (police) he would threaten to lie and say I assaulted him as well, knowing we would BOTH be arrested.
I was finally able to terminate him from my health ins in spring of 05 after much difficulty - but not until after he was treated for various STDs on my plan.

I paid the cost for my son's care until May 2005, when he returned to NY with me. My contract was ending in NY, I worried about the school system I would be putting him into after he loved TX's so much. I made several friends and even had job offers in my trips back and forth to Dallas - so I made the decision to move (since all my stuff was in storage now down there). He has since decided to obtain an at-home divorce kit and is trying to convince me to just sign it (not happening) - but he has clearly noted he wants joint legal custody. I want full legal and physical custody, and am open to regular visitation. I'm not even asking for a dime from him (though I know for my son's care I need to).
I am terrified that if I don't have full legal custody he will pull some stunt with a new girlfriend that now wants family, or that his family insists he take my son full time. He had no say in my move to TX and never asked any details. He is now unemployed and lives with a woman - he reports he collects unemployment from NY and TX, but can't give me any money. He is hoping to receive money from his family, but his mother advised him (and also told me) she will not give it to him unless we are divorced so I won't get anything.
I have no family - and have been a single parent to this child for 6+ years. I took a huge pay cut and left a life in NY behind for a better environment for him - also note: this is not some jilted wife issue - I am in a very loving relationship - my son and are very happy (50miles from his father).

On what grounds would I NOT be able to obtain sole legal custody...is this a losing battle ?
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