southernandi
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? oklahoma
I don't know if anyone remembers, I posted here before. I told my husband I wanted a divorce in May. I was still living there and I started an affair. He found out, taped phones calls and had gps systems placed on my vehicle and the vehicle of the person I was having the affair with. He said he had video tapes and proof of everything. We discussed everything, we began the divorce proceedings June 22 and I moved out July 1.
We had discussed everything being 50/50, he then said he wanted me to agree to him being custodial. He said this would still mean everything was 50/50 he would just get to make medical decisions, etc. He said it didn't mean anything. He threatened me to not get a lawyer or he would tell everything and make my life miserable. We agreed on everything and I thought it would be ok.
The day they went to court to file, he said it would be really hard for me to be there, so I shouldn't come, I didn't. His lawyer brought papers in, in a very big rush, about 45 minutes before their court time. He said read it fast, sign, and then gave me a copy of something else entirely, not even a copy of what I signed.
I assumed everything was ok. We had joint visitation every 2 days and every other weekend since I left in July. The 1st of September he told me that he only wanted me to have standard visitation and that I was going to be paying him. He said because I was seeing people and going out with friends, that I had a lifestyle change. He has always been extremely controlling. His way was the only right way, he was responsible, he thought I wasn't. It didn't seem to be a problem when we were married.
So, I didn't say anything else about the visitation. I got a lawyer. I know he thought I couldn't afford it. I borrowed money. I told the lawyer that I had an affair, that my ex had sent several hundred emails since we split in July. Very harassing, and bullying me. He filed the motion to vacate.
I met my ex yesterday to pay a bill and he knew about everything. We are going to court Sept 28. He told me I better stop or I was going to be paying his legal bills. He said he had emails that proved I knew it was going to be him with sole custody. I told my lawyer this and he said he would look over what I gave him. He said it didn't matter, they presented it to me like everything would be 50/50. Will I have a problem with the motion to vacate? It was within 30 days and there were valid reasons.
I do go out with friends, but I don't bring people around my kids - ever.
I was with them at home for the first 3 years. I'm the only one who plays outside with them, takes them to baseball games, etc. Ex even admitted he hadn't been there for the first several years.
I just wanted this to be fair. I even paid 50 percent of his legal fees because i thought the lawyer was drawing the papers up to our agreements. I really got screwed. Do we stand a chance at 50/50 or does one of us have more ground to stand on?
I don't know if anyone remembers, I posted here before. I told my husband I wanted a divorce in May. I was still living there and I started an affair. He found out, taped phones calls and had gps systems placed on my vehicle and the vehicle of the person I was having the affair with. He said he had video tapes and proof of everything. We discussed everything, we began the divorce proceedings June 22 and I moved out July 1.
We had discussed everything being 50/50, he then said he wanted me to agree to him being custodial. He said this would still mean everything was 50/50 he would just get to make medical decisions, etc. He said it didn't mean anything. He threatened me to not get a lawyer or he would tell everything and make my life miserable. We agreed on everything and I thought it would be ok.
The day they went to court to file, he said it would be really hard for me to be there, so I shouldn't come, I didn't. His lawyer brought papers in, in a very big rush, about 45 minutes before their court time. He said read it fast, sign, and then gave me a copy of something else entirely, not even a copy of what I signed.
I assumed everything was ok. We had joint visitation every 2 days and every other weekend since I left in July. The 1st of September he told me that he only wanted me to have standard visitation and that I was going to be paying him. He said because I was seeing people and going out with friends, that I had a lifestyle change. He has always been extremely controlling. His way was the only right way, he was responsible, he thought I wasn't. It didn't seem to be a problem when we were married.
So, I didn't say anything else about the visitation. I got a lawyer. I know he thought I couldn't afford it. I borrowed money. I told the lawyer that I had an affair, that my ex had sent several hundred emails since we split in July. Very harassing, and bullying me. He filed the motion to vacate.
I met my ex yesterday to pay a bill and he knew about everything. We are going to court Sept 28. He told me I better stop or I was going to be paying his legal bills. He said he had emails that proved I knew it was going to be him with sole custody. I told my lawyer this and he said he would look over what I gave him. He said it didn't matter, they presented it to me like everything would be 50/50. Will I have a problem with the motion to vacate? It was within 30 days and there were valid reasons.
I do go out with friends, but I don't bring people around my kids - ever.
I was with them at home for the first 3 years. I'm the only one who plays outside with them, takes them to baseball games, etc. Ex even admitted he hadn't been there for the first several years.
I just wanted this to be fair. I even paid 50 percent of his legal fees because i thought the lawyer was drawing the papers up to our agreements. I really got screwed. Do we stand a chance at 50/50 or does one of us have more ground to stand on?
