Desperately need advice!!

[titansfan]

how ex raises daughter is none of your business

unless the bf is abusing YOUR kids, mom can allow her daughters bf to sleep over, and its none of YOUR business. she is NOT your daughter,and you have no say where her daughter is concerned.

 

[singledaddytwo]

Thanks for your 2 cents titansfan but my point is that my children being raised around this type of behavior is my conern and interfere with my goals of teaching them right from wrong. I could care less if she lets her daughter screw the whole state of PA but just not in front of my kids or with their knowledge that she did. It's obvious that this forum is constructed of nothing but LOSERS except for ONE and she/HE knows who they are. I am a honest hardworking parent who is trying to raise his children in a society that is so F##KED its pathetic. So sue me for caring for my children. You could take every dime I have.........but the CARING IS NEVERENDING and until the majority of the parents in this USA get their head out of their AZZ, and become more responsible in how they raise their children, my fight for my children to grow up with values , respect and everything else is in a sense a losing battle but one battle I intend to fight til the very end because I owe my children that. I don't brag about cussing like a sailor in front of my children like some have on here.......How very proud they must be. Some of the responses on here proves nothing more than the fact that I am dealing with the wrong class of people. Someone show me to the door where the morally stable individuals are located.

 

[singledaddytwo]

To Blond Lebinese

Quote:
How lame that comment sounded. "You can't expect for her to be with them the whole time.....one week". How hard is it really......unless your selfish??


Blonde Lebinese wrote:Lame ? Get a reality Check . The kids do go to school right .

I tried to let it go Blondie but I couldn't. Yes, my children go to school, and the mother works all day which is just one more reason why I feel her "play time" should be done on her "off weeks". It has worked for me for 2 1/2 years, what is the big deal? Every other week, I am watching my two children go stay with their mother who I KNOW is working 5 days and 3 nights a week and going out Friday and Saturday night. Ok, if the math is right, at 1 night a week with the children, 3 nights working, and Friday and Saturday going out,
I am disrupting the lives of my children by transferring them every other week
to allow her to give them...in essence, a measily 2 nights a month of her time? If that sounds like a mother to you, then you need to take that "role" you wear so proudly and flush it because that is as poor of an excuse for a mother as I have ever heard. My children have even said, "Why go to mom's, all she does is works or go out drinking". If a 12 yr old can see that..why can't you? Maybe your ashamed of your own parenting and that is why you choose to defend ones that are clearly not living up to the "responsibilities" the role of a parent comes with.If that isn't the case, then I guess their is real meaning to the "blonde comments" made by people. It's funny , of all people to pick YOUR quote. HAAAA!! Again, she was awarded 2 weeks a month that she chose to dwindle down to 2 days as a result of her "high class" lifestyle wannabe. This is what makes a case along with the "setting a poor example" for my children by letting her 16 yr old sleep with the 20 yr old bf, per my attorney. For him to say he will resign his license to practice law if I walk out with LESS than PRIMARY custody, he must feel that I have legitimate concerns and if this is a LAW ADVICE forum, I want to know which one of you clowns wrote the lawbooks. So I guess when I get PRIMARY custody, I'll come back on here just to let ya know that your advice.... well.......read your quote.

 

[Mbarr]

Hello, I am a single father of two children ages 4 and 12, both are girls. I suggested to my ex ( never married

Hey, great thing you've developed some morals. You obviously didn't have them during the 8 years you subjected your 12 year old to living with you and your partner in fornication. If you think an attorney representing your ex won't be able to use that info, you are living in a dream world.

The strong point in your favor is mom not spending time with the kids during her custodial periods. I agree that during custodial periods, the first priority (after employment) is the kids. Certainly there will be occasional times when adult plans are made during those times, but that should be the exception rather than the rule.

 

[tigger22472]

Quote:
How lame that comment sounded. "You can't expect for her to be with them the whole time.....one week". How hard is it really......unless your selfish??


Blonde Lebinese wrote:Lame ? Get a reality Check . The kids do go to school right .

I tried to let it go Blondie but I couldn't. Yes, my children go to school, and the mother works all day which is just one more reason why I feel her "play time" should be done on her "off weeks". It has worked for me for 2 1/2 years, what is the big deal? Every other week, I am watching my two children go stay with their mother who I KNOW is working 5 days and 3 nights a week and going out Friday and Saturday night. Ok, if the math is right, at 1 night a week with the children, 3 nights working, and Friday and Saturday going out,
I am disrupting the lives of my children by transferring them every other week
to allow her to give them...in essence, a measily 2 nights a month of her time? If that sounds like a mother to you, then you need to take that "role" you wear so proudly and flush it because that is as poor of an excuse for a mother as I have ever heard. My children have even said, "Why go to mom's, all she does is works or go out drinking". If a 12 yr old can see that..why can't you? Maybe your ashamed of your own parenting and that is why you choose to defend ones that are clearly not living up to the "responsibilities" the role of a parent comes with.If that isn't the case, then I guess their is real meaning to the "blonde comments" made by people. It's funny , of all people to pick YOUR quote. HAAAA!! Again, she was awarded 2 weeks a month that she chose to dwindle down to 2 days as a result of her "high class" lifestyle wannabe. This is what makes a case along with the "setting a poor example" for my children by letting her 16 yr old sleep with the 20 yr old bf, per my attorney. For him to say he will resign his license to practice law if I walk out with LESS than PRIMARY custody, he must feel that I have legitimate concerns and if this is a LAW ADVICE forum, I want to know which one of you clowns wrote the lawbooks. So I guess when I get PRIMARY custody, I'll come back on here just to let ya know that your advice.... well.......read your quote.

Ok.. Let me ask you something. When you children make these statements what is your response to them?

Secondly, I'm telling RIGHT now. You better think long and hard about this because you were lucky in the first place to get 50/50. Had she not agreed, you likely wouldn't have had that as society doesn't like 50/50... PERIOD. I can tell you this from experience and NEITHER do judges. Also reality is you are male. Sadly as it sounds this country is still VERY pro mom and unless you have proof of ILLEGAL things going on in mom's house, including neglect (her working is not likely to be nearly enough) or abuse you are in for a full fledged fight that you will need WAY more than you have stated here to work for you. On top of all of this, if if you WERE to win primary custody you are NOT going to prevent how mom runs her house and you are not going to prevent your children from being exposed to this. Primary custody will do NOTHING for this. On top of that, you don't realize really how good you do have it. Your children are obviously seeing this and see that it's not necessarily right. Give mom every other weekend and you're looking turning mom into a martered victim. At this point those kids are learning what they don't want to be like. Again the fact that neglect and abuse are absent here you actually are gaining in the long run and you are just so worked up with emotion you can't see that.

 

[stealth2]

And you're still not getting it - how you feeeeel is moot. All that matters is the law. Courts do not like to get involved in the morality of issues, because that's about people's feeeeeeeeeeeeelings, not about the law. None of what you said Mom is doing is illegal. Period.

That said, the place to focus is on her not spending much time with the kids, as MBarr said. THAT is your strong point in the case. Not her 16yo's boyfriend, not the cussing, etc.

 

[singledaddytwo]

To Stealth2 : And WHY should I JUST focus on the mom spending too little time with the kids? Per the footnote below, the "legal age of consent at 16 in PA is based on the male being 21, NOT 20....so YES, it is an illegal act at this point and seeing how he just turned 20 and has already been living there for 6 months, yeah..I'm focusing on that too as that would have made her 15 and him 19. But thanks anyway for your uneducated advice.

STATE AGE
Alabama 16
Alaska 16
Arizona 18
Arkansas 16
California 18
Colorado 15
Connecticut 15
D.C. 16
Delaware 16
Florida 16/18 (bill pending)
Georgia 16
Hawaii 14
Idaho 14
Illinois 16/17
Indiana 16
Iowa 18
Kansas 16
Kentucky 16 - [1]
Louisiana 17
Maine 16
Maryland 16
Massachusetts 16/18
Michigan 16
Minnesota 16
Mississippi 16 - [2]
Missouri 17
Montana 16
Nebraska 16
Nevada 16
New Hampshire 16/18
New Jersey 16/18
New Mexico 17
New York 17
North Carolina 16
North Dakota 18
Ohio 16
Oklahoma 16
Oregon 18
Pennsylvania 16
Rhode Island 16
South Carolina 14/16
South Dakota 16
Tennessee 18
Texas 17
Utah 16/18
Vermont 16
Virginia 15
Washington 16
West Virginia 16
Wisconsin 18
Wyoming 16
Puerto Rico 18

FOOTNOTES:
[1]Age 16 if the man is 21 or older.
[2]If the female is over 12, the status applies only to virgins.

 

[stealth2]

God, you're an idiot. No, if the guy is younger, it does NOT make it statutory rape or invalidate the consent. Please - go ask your lawyer before you make a fool of yourself in court. On this and other issues.

 

[TNBSMommy]

just one more reason why I feel her "play time" should be done on her "off weeks".

Once again, it really is NOT your place to decide how she spends HER time in HER house!!!!

Have you thought about just making her a calendar with dates marked that you feel are acceptable for her to go out? You could highlight blue~she can go out. Pink~She isn't allowed.

poor of an excuse for a mother as I have ever heard.

Well, you picked her! And by your own admission, you picked her with no intentions of spending the rest of your life with her... bet your children are proud to know THAT!

 

[TNBSMommy]

God, you're an idiot. No, if the guy is younger, it does NOT make it statutory rape or invalidate the consent. Please - go ask your lawyer before you make a fool of yourself in court. On this and other issues.

Whew, I thought maybe I was the nutty one for thinking that way, lol..

 

[stealth2]

All this thread indicates to me is that you desperately need a lawyer to represent you. You are emotionally too close to the situation to do a good job of it yourself. Retain the attorney (LOL but don't be shocked if you find out later that the "great case" he thinks you have was dollar signs in his eyes), and let him do the talking in court - keep your mouth shut unless specifically spoken to.

 

[singledaddytwo]

Tigger, as far as what I tell the children when they say what they say about going to mom's, I tell them that they need to tell her where her actions are upsetting them. The only thing is, the 12 yr old won't because she is scared of her mothers "temper". With that said, I personally told her what they tell me and also forewarned her NOT to take her anger of their opinions of her actions out on them. To this day, she hasn't, but she also hasn't done anything to change the way my children feel about going there. Could it be a "could care less" issue?

As for the rest of your post......see message posted to stealth. I agree that courts are more concerned about the law than feelings but just as my attorney told me, the more that is SAID in a court room which could very well be full of people as it would be a public hearing, the more this judge has to ask himself. " How can I really declare that she has the childrens best interest at heart with what was said, and convince all these people in this room listening". Ruling in favor of someone like her over someone like me is a job that I would not want if I was a judge..thats a given.

You see, it's a society where it's believed that "Momma can't do no wrong" so it's going to take honest, caring men like myself to PROVE.....OHHHH YES THEY CAN !!!

I have seen more FIT fathers than mothers in my lifetime and to this day.....the momma being the "first choice" in a custody battle is a crock, and I proved that when I stated my case to get the 50/50 I already got. The funny thing is....she didn't say 1 word in the courtroom because she knew I was being generous to even give her that......knowing all the hell we went through regarding "parenting" prior to splitting up. Yes, my children come first in my life and you can be assured that I will stop at NOTHING to see that they are cared for EVERY day of their life...NOT every other week.

 

[singledaddytwo]

This attorney specializes in child custody cases and he has a "fabulous " record. I have told him nothing more than I've told in this thread so now I guess it's a matter of listening to him.....A 30 yr professional, or you people in here, who are obviously not seeing the picture he is. And besides this......he told me that he will take this case for $1100.00. You know, personally, $1100.00 is not a whole lot of money when your talking about the livelihood of 2 children you love dearly. And he said this money is payable upon WINNING the case. If he loses and worse case scenario, things remain as they are, I owe him nothing as he has done nothing. Now I don't think that is a MAJOR risk on my part.....but I guess it depends on how much you love your children. The only thing I got from these threads is that I'm willing to FIGHT alot harder for my kids than most in here are. Thats not my problem..thats YOURS. As far as idiot? We shall see but one thing is for certain....I'm not going to take the word of a forum full of people who condone what is going on, who brag about their language around their children and who think that because "they say so" I should give up on my children.

 

[stealth2]

but I guess it depends on how much you love your children. The only thing I got from these threads is that I'm willing to FIGHT alot harder for my kids than most in here are.

You have no idea on what you're talking about.

And yes, if you think that because the guy's not 21 it's statutory rape - you're an idiot.

 

[TNBSMommy]

This attorney specializes in child custody cases and he has a "fabulous " record. I have told him nothing more than I've told in this thread so now I guess it's a matter of listening to him.....A 30 yr professional, or you people in here, who are obviously not seeing the picture he is. And besides this......he told me that he will take this case for $1100.00. You know, personally, $1100.00 is not a whole lot of money when your talking about the livelihood of 2 children you love dearly. And he said this money is payable upon WINNING the case. If he loses and worse case scenario, things remain as they are, I owe him nothing as he has done nothing. Now I don't think that is a MAJOR risk on my part.....but I guess it depends on how much you love your children. The only thing I got from these threads is that I'm willing to FIGHT alot harder for my kids than most in here are. Thats not my problem..thats YOURS. As far as idiot? We shall see but one thing is for certain....I'm not going to take the word of a forum full of people who condone what is going on, who brag about their language around their children and who think that because "they say so" I should give up on my children.

No one here "condones" mom's lifestyle... but no judge in his right mind is going to allow you to dictate how mom spends her time!! Whether the children are there or not!