Did I do something wrong?

[MJA89]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

After 19 + years my estranged wife and I are physically separated. I am in the military overseas, she is back in the States with our daughter (13yo). My wife went spend crazy, racking up unbelieveable debt. She hasnever had steady employment, but has a college degree from a prestegious school albeit a long time ago. She is fluent in three languages. She has a "home business" selling books. I have no idea if she is making any money. At time she claims yes, when I ask for her to contibute, she says no. In Nov at the first mention of divorce from me, she cleared out our money market accountand ran up a HELOC which was on our house- total 15,000. In Jan she cleared out the joint bank account (2900.00) and let it go into over draft-I transfered money (my "allowance" ) from a another account to keep it from bouncing checks. I finally established my own account and have my direct deposit going there. I had her give me a budget for the 1st and 15th. I cut some of the luxury items from her list, but left the pool cleaner, lawn service, etc. I transfer that money to her account. She now claims that it's not enough as she has receipts for things above what I am giving her. She is threatening me with a Petition for Spousal Support. She still has money in her personal account which she took from our joint account. She stated that she has no intention of getting a real job and, since it will mean more alimony for her upon divorce, she does not even intend to sell any books. I am currently funding her for paralegal school (5000.00). Once again she threatened to fail the course/certification so that she will not be considered as employable upon divorce.

What are my options,?
Do I owe her an explanation of what I am doing with the rest of my pay ?
Am I doing something wrong by not giving her access to my entire paycheck?
How will the court look at her refusal to work/threats to fail the course when assessing support?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

After 19 + years my estranged wife and I are physically separated. I am in the military overseas, she is back in the States with our daughter (13yo). My wife went spend crazy, racking up unbelieveable debt. She hasnever had steady employment, but has a college degree from a prestegious school albeit a long time ago. She is fluent in three languages. She has a "home business" selling books. I have no idea if she is making any money. At time she claims yes, when I ask for her to contibute, she says no. In Nov at the first mention of divorce from me, she cleared out our money market accountand ran up a HELOC which was on our house- total 15,000. In Jan she cleared out the joint bank account (2900.00) and let it go into over draft-I transfered money (my "allowance" ) from a another account to keep it from bouncing checks. I finally established my own account and have my direct deposit going there. I had her give me a budget for the 1st and 15th. I cut some of the luxury items from her list, but left the pool cleaner, lawn service, etc. I transfer that money to her account. She now claims that it's not enough as she has receipts for things above what I am giving her. She is threatening me with a Petition for Spousal Support. She still has money in her personal account which she took from our joint account. She stated that she has no intention of getting a real job and, since it will mean more alimony for her upon divorce, she does not even intend to sell any books. I am currently funding her for paralegal school (5000.00). Once again she threatened to fail the course/certification so that she will not be considered as employable upon divorce.

What are my options,?
Do I owe her an explanation of what I am doing with the rest of my pay ?
Am I doing something wrong by not giving her access to my entire paycheck?
How will the court look at her refusal to work/threats to fail the course when assessing support?

You need to file for divorce and let her request temporary support. It is not likely to be any more than you're voluntarily paying.

You do not need to give her access to your entire paycheck. You COULD be in trouble if you don't give her enough for reasonable living expenses, but that doesn't sound like the case (a pool cleaner is not a reasonable living expense).

The court can not make her work, but they will expect her to make a reasonable effort. If you can document those threats, it won't look good for her. Basically, they will impute an income. That means saying "OK, you don't have to work, but we're going to assume that you could be making $xxxx, so we'll use that figure in the calculations". She's only hurting herself if she intentionally fails a course because she's eventually going to have to support herself. If you have evidence that she fails the course intentionally, the court might well impute income of a paralegal which is higher than they would impute for someone with less education.