What is the name of your state? CA
okay, nobody will have probably heard of something this odd happening. I called an educational attorney right after it happened , two of them actually just to make sure I was in the 'right', and they could not even believe how outrageous it was.
My son recently began sufferering from an anxiety disorder, it was related to an event that happened. He went to a doctor, it was disabling for a time and he missed some school. I would be called by the school when I dropped him off, telling me to come get him he was at the nurse's. I let the school know reason for his absences, and they knew bc they saw it happening. Around this time I went to a parent teachermeeting that is standard for all parents of kids who need educational assistance. The principal was ther,e and to make this brief, there's more to it but in a nutshell, the principal asked me reason for his absence. I told him, and said it is medical, the doctor already wrote a note. Principal just looked at me and said that he would like to 'hop in my car with me' after the meeting, and come to our home to 'take a look at my son' to 'confirm teh diagnosis'. I was like a deer in headlights, I never, in all his school years have been asked by a principal to allow them to 'come home with me' to confirm an illness. He has no attnedance problems all his years except for that short time that was medically excused. Everyone at the meeting was staring at me, waiting to hear my anser to his very oddball and unorthodox request. I stammered and stuttered out a meek reply that I would rather not do that. It sounded weak and unconfident, it was bc I was not prepared and couldnt think fast on my feet like that to give a strong confident reply. I wish I had gasped and said "excuse me? That is a bit unorthodox. Is that in school policy??? Let me phone my lawyer and check on that and i'll get back to you' but i just meekly said 'uh, well, uh, I'd rather not..." the principal seemed to gain momentum and I felt he was trying to put me on the spot, i felt very intimidated. He then said that he 'didn't know why I wold notwant to bring him home to be able to confirm her illness' I told him he already has a doctor, thank you. The meeting never got around to what it was intended- to plan his classes.
Next up, mr. principal calls and tells me to come to a second meeting. This time, I was smart enough to bring a support person. He went around the same loop again, that he 'needed to confirm his condition of anxiety'. I t old him that I prefer doctors to handle his medical issues, and frankly sir, you are not a doctor. A principal, yes. A doctor, no. He then began to bully me, saying that the doctors note the doctor wrote was 'not good enough' and I would have to ask the doctor to put details in it. He also said if I didnt want to let him come to my home, I could bring my son to his office so he could 'take a peek and make sure he has anxiety'. I told him doctors take 8 yrs in medical school to diagnose psychiatric illness, I could not do it, and presume that you realize you are not qualified to make medical diagnosis. He went on to say that if I didnt produce my son for him to confirm that he had an anxiety disorder he might have to call cps. My friend was aghast really at his boldness,...he seemed to be making up his own rules along the way. He really intimdiated me, and caused me a great deal of emotional upset, trying to bully or intimidate me by the threat of cps to confirm an illness.
He also did other things since. There was a before school meeting that I was told of in a voicemail message. The message said to just be at school in 6 days. This was over the summer. I was not called and asked to set up a mutual time. I called the principal and told him i could not make it that day, and needed to reschedule. He left a messageon answering machine simply saying "Ms. Brown, I'm sorry you aren't able to attend. I cannot reschedule that time, because I 'already scheduled' it...." I spoke with him briefly and he said that was the only time during the summer he had time, that one day and hour. I called the district and had to make several calls to a head honcho and let herknow what occured. SHe said ' oh, if you can't make that time, he is supposed to set up a mutual time you can...just send him in writing you need to reschedule..." I told her I already had sent it in writing too, but he refused to do so. She talked to him and it was rescheduled, with no apology or expalnation or call from him.
Last up, I droped off a custody paper at the office, he called me and said in that ****y tone again, "Mrs. Brown, I'm sorry, I 'm not able to honor this paper because sometehing was whited out.." I told him as I explained to the secretary the part he needed to know was clear, the only thing whited out was something unrelated to custody, none of his concern. I told him I would drop off a copy with no white out, because he said he refused to honor it, even though the part whited out was unrelated to anything he would need to know.
I dropped off the new paper, and left it w/ the secretary. I asked her to have him send me in writing he had received it, bc I need the confirmation he has now received it and understands it in writing for my own records. It has been about 5 days and he has not sent the written fax saying he received it.
Obvioiusly for whatever reason this principal enjoys or misunderstands using his power and likes to make up his own way of doing things. I have alot going on now, b ut at some point in the near future I have considered filing a lawsuit or at least a complaint against him, for the emotional distress he caused me. There is nothing more strssful as a parent than being bullied and told cps will be called, in order to do something NOT within school guidelines. Oh, the other thing, after I gave him teh second doctors note he demanded (not w/i school policy) I asked that he send me something stating his absence was now deemed offically excused. He called me back and said "mrs. brown, I am unable to deem it excused, because 'attendance is an ongoing matter for any student, and I cannot excuse future absences...'. I told him ,huh? I am not asking you to excuse future absences, I am asking you to state his recent absent is excused bc of the (two) doctors notes. He said in an ALice in Wonderland manner, that he cannot excuse the future. I was baffled and didnt know how to keep going around that loop with him saying he cannot excuse future absences. either he has some type of dyslexia that he does not understand what I said, or he was tryign to play games with me.
has anyone here ever had to file a complaint or lawsuit against a school official? Please tell me of your experiences and some advice.
It is a daunting thought going against a bigwig like him, but it seems like it would be wrong to just excuse the very unorthodox demands he made, the intimidation, really he was basically trying to blackmail me into letting him play doctor and confirm a diagnosis which would be irresponsible of me, and grossly unfair to my son.
okay, nobody will have probably heard of something this odd happening. I called an educational attorney right after it happened , two of them actually just to make sure I was in the 'right', and they could not even believe how outrageous it was.
My son recently began sufferering from an anxiety disorder, it was related to an event that happened. He went to a doctor, it was disabling for a time and he missed some school. I would be called by the school when I dropped him off, telling me to come get him he was at the nurse's. I let the school know reason for his absences, and they knew bc they saw it happening. Around this time I went to a parent teachermeeting that is standard for all parents of kids who need educational assistance. The principal was ther,e and to make this brief, there's more to it but in a nutshell, the principal asked me reason for his absence. I told him, and said it is medical, the doctor already wrote a note. Principal just looked at me and said that he would like to 'hop in my car with me' after the meeting, and come to our home to 'take a look at my son' to 'confirm teh diagnosis'. I was like a deer in headlights, I never, in all his school years have been asked by a principal to allow them to 'come home with me' to confirm an illness. He has no attnedance problems all his years except for that short time that was medically excused. Everyone at the meeting was staring at me, waiting to hear my anser to his very oddball and unorthodox request. I stammered and stuttered out a meek reply that I would rather not do that. It sounded weak and unconfident, it was bc I was not prepared and couldnt think fast on my feet like that to give a strong confident reply. I wish I had gasped and said "excuse me? That is a bit unorthodox. Is that in school policy??? Let me phone my lawyer and check on that and i'll get back to you' but i just meekly said 'uh, well, uh, I'd rather not..." the principal seemed to gain momentum and I felt he was trying to put me on the spot, i felt very intimidated. He then said that he 'didn't know why I wold notwant to bring him home to be able to confirm her illness' I told him he already has a doctor, thank you. The meeting never got around to what it was intended- to plan his classes.
Next up, mr. principal calls and tells me to come to a second meeting. This time, I was smart enough to bring a support person. He went around the same loop again, that he 'needed to confirm his condition of anxiety'. I t old him that I prefer doctors to handle his medical issues, and frankly sir, you are not a doctor. A principal, yes. A doctor, no. He then began to bully me, saying that the doctors note the doctor wrote was 'not good enough' and I would have to ask the doctor to put details in it. He also said if I didnt want to let him come to my home, I could bring my son to his office so he could 'take a peek and make sure he has anxiety'. I told him doctors take 8 yrs in medical school to diagnose psychiatric illness, I could not do it, and presume that you realize you are not qualified to make medical diagnosis. He went on to say that if I didnt produce my son for him to confirm that he had an anxiety disorder he might have to call cps. My friend was aghast really at his boldness,...he seemed to be making up his own rules along the way. He really intimdiated me, and caused me a great deal of emotional upset, trying to bully or intimidate me by the threat of cps to confirm an illness.
He also did other things since. There was a before school meeting that I was told of in a voicemail message. The message said to just be at school in 6 days. This was over the summer. I was not called and asked to set up a mutual time. I called the principal and told him i could not make it that day, and needed to reschedule. He left a messageon answering machine simply saying "Ms. Brown, I'm sorry you aren't able to attend. I cannot reschedule that time, because I 'already scheduled' it...." I spoke with him briefly and he said that was the only time during the summer he had time, that one day and hour. I called the district and had to make several calls to a head honcho and let herknow what occured. SHe said ' oh, if you can't make that time, he is supposed to set up a mutual time you can...just send him in writing you need to reschedule..." I told her I already had sent it in writing too, but he refused to do so. She talked to him and it was rescheduled, with no apology or expalnation or call from him.
Last up, I droped off a custody paper at the office, he called me and said in that ****y tone again, "Mrs. Brown, I'm sorry, I 'm not able to honor this paper because sometehing was whited out.." I told him as I explained to the secretary the part he needed to know was clear, the only thing whited out was something unrelated to custody, none of his concern. I told him I would drop off a copy with no white out, because he said he refused to honor it, even though the part whited out was unrelated to anything he would need to know.
I dropped off the new paper, and left it w/ the secretary. I asked her to have him send me in writing he had received it, bc I need the confirmation he has now received it and understands it in writing for my own records. It has been about 5 days and he has not sent the written fax saying he received it.
Obvioiusly for whatever reason this principal enjoys or misunderstands using his power and likes to make up his own way of doing things. I have alot going on now, b ut at some point in the near future I have considered filing a lawsuit or at least a complaint against him, for the emotional distress he caused me. There is nothing more strssful as a parent than being bullied and told cps will be called, in order to do something NOT within school guidelines. Oh, the other thing, after I gave him teh second doctors note he demanded (not w/i school policy) I asked that he send me something stating his absence was now deemed offically excused. He called me back and said "mrs. brown, I am unable to deem it excused, because 'attendance is an ongoing matter for any student, and I cannot excuse future absences...'. I told him ,huh? I am not asking you to excuse future absences, I am asking you to state his recent absent is excused bc of the (two) doctors notes. He said in an ALice in Wonderland manner, that he cannot excuse the future. I was baffled and didnt know how to keep going around that loop with him saying he cannot excuse future absences. either he has some type of dyslexia that he does not understand what I said, or he was tryign to play games with me.
has anyone here ever had to file a complaint or lawsuit against a school official? Please tell me of your experiences and some advice.
It is a daunting thought going against a bigwig like him, but it seems like it would be wrong to just excuse the very unorthodox demands he made, the intimidation, really he was basically trying to blackmail me into letting him play doctor and confirm a diagnosis which would be irresponsible of me, and grossly unfair to my son.