Dismissing Show Cause

[VA_Mom]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? VA

If both DCSE and I have filed a show cause for non-payment against the NCP, is it possible for me to draft an agreement so that the arreages may be reduced? Or will it not matter now that DCSE is involved?

I'm asking because we have been to court in the past couple of months several times and I would like to just move on with life so that we can work on creating a decent parenting relationship.

It would probably work out best if the arrearages were reduced and we work out a payment plan vs. setting the amount so high that he feels overwhelmed. I know this is strange to even request this but my main concern is steady, ongoing support and not having the NCP become so frustrated that he feels it's not even worth making any effort. (FYI...his wages were previously garnished but now he works as an indep. contractor so garnishing his income is no longer an option.)

 

[brisgirl825]

You can, at any time, reduce or forgive all arrears. You need to simply hve notarized paperwork sent to CSE, usually. I would ask your case worker what they need.
If any of the arrears are due to the state for your having been on welfare, you will not be able to forgive those.

 

[VA_Mom]

Nope...not on welfare. So I'll contact his attorney and see if he would like reduce it.

Now we have a case coming up very soon. Will both of us have to still show up for the case or will his attorney be able to represent him with the notarized paper? He lives out of state.

 

[brisgirl825]

Nope...not on welfare. So I'll contact his attorney and see if he would like reduce it.

Now we have a case coming up very soon. Will both of us have to still show up for the case or will his attorney be able to represent him with the notarized paper? He lives out of state.

If you were told to show, you should show. The judge may want to make sure that it is yout intention to reduce arrears and make sure you understand what that means, etc.
Dad's atty will let him know what to do.

 

[betterthanher]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? VA

If both DCSE and I have filed a show cause for non-payment against the NCP, is it possible for me to draft an agreement so that the arreages may be reduced? Or will it not matter now that DCSE is involved?

Unless I am mistaken, a child support enforcement agency should not be bringing action against a parent. It's the obligee who should be bringing the action against the non-paying obligor. The DCSE (or any child support enforcement agency) does NOT "work" for the parent recieving support.

DCSE is not a private party in this case, plus they have an economic interest in the case.

 

[VA_Mom]

Well, I contacted the NCP who has stated that he is not making a deal. His claim is that since we lived together for about 6 months while trying to "work it out" (support order was still valid) that he should not pay a dime because the place was in his name. I informed him that he did not pay any of the rent during that time which lead to an eviction. He says it doesn't matter and that he is pretty sure the back support during that timeframe will be dismissed or him recieving enough credit for the judge to reduce it to less than half and just to give him a slap on the wrist.

If that is true, I don't think it is fair because I made almost twice his salary during that time and paid for all of this children's childcare, medical, groceries, etc. and all I asked for was him to send the support and I would send a check to pay the rent (I handle the bills) which he refused to and said he would pay the rent instead but never did and I didn't know until a notice from the sherriff was posted on the door.

 

[brisgirl825]

Unless I am mistaken, a child support enforcement agency should not be bringing action against a parent. It's the obligee who should be bringing the action against the non-paying obligor. The DCSE (or any child support enforcement agency) does NOT "work" for the parent recieving support.

DCSE is not a private party in this case, plus they have an economic interest in the case.

What are you talking about? Of course, CSE will take a NCP to court. They do it all the time.

 

[brisgirl825]

Well, I contacted the NCP who has stated that he is not making a deal. His claim is that since we lived together for about 6 months while trying to "work it out" (support order was still valid) that he should not pay a dime because the place was in his name. I informed him that he did not pay any of the rent during that time which lead to an eviction. He says it doesn't matter and that he is pretty sure the back support during that timeframe will be dismissed or him recieving enough credit for the judge to reduce it to less than half and just to give him a slap on the wrist.

If that is true, I don't think it is fair because I made almost twice his salary during that time and paid for all of this children's childcare, medical, groceries, etc. and all I asked for was him to send the support and I would send a check to pay the rent (I handle the bills) which he refused to and said he would pay the rent instead but never did and I didn't know until a notice from the sherriff was posted on the door.

He had an order and didn't get it modified, he is out of luck. Had he gone to court to reduce or stop the cs order, he would have been able to do that. He didn't, so the order was in effect and it is owed.

 

[betterthanher]

What are you talking about? Of course, CSE will take a NCP to court. They do it all the time.

I was under the impression that the obligee would have to do the file of show cause for contempt. CSE should not be "working" for the obligee. That's what a lawyer would be for.

And I am not talking about when the CSE will take action when someone is in default according to state statutes.

 

[brisgirl825]

I was under the impression that the obligee would have to do the file of show cause for contempt. CSE should not be "working" for the obligee. That's what a lawyer would be for.

And I am not talking about when the CSE will take action when someone is in default according to state statutes.

They don't work for the obligee, they work for the state. It is in the state's interests to make sure that the NCP pays support so that the CP isn't on welfare.
It is also not a free deal. When I finally got CS from my ex, CSE garnished a % to pay for their services. There was NO way I could afford an atty, even if I was getting cs but he got a public defender since he was up for criminal charges for contempt of court. So it was a good deal for everyone involved. He didn't get shafted by not having an atty and neither did I.

 

[VA_Mom]

He was in default and DCSE had been looking for him for two years. Whenever they would garnish his pay, he would quit his job. That's why I foolishly tried working it out with him because I was constantly behind in my bills without any support and DCSE said they were frustrated because he kept running. He offered me an ultimatum to work it out or he would just keep job hopping. I know that sounds shallow but I was in a bad situation. I guess that would sound horrible for me to say in court.

 

[brisgirl825]

He was in default and DCSE had been looking for him for two years. Whenever they would garnish his pay, he would quit his job. That's why I foolishly tried working it out with him because I was constantly behind in my bills without any support and DCSE said they were frustrated because he kept running. He offered me an ultimatum to work it out or he would just keep job hopping. I know that sounds shallow but I was in a bad situation. I guess that would sound horrible for me to say in court.

And you wanted to help out someone who doesn't care enough about the kids to help in their financial support?

There's a difference between getting hurt, laid off, etc. and just being irresponsible. You should not condone the behavior by letting him know that everytime he gets busted, you are going to bail him out. You do nothing but make the child and yourself suffer.

Let the judge deal with him.

 

[VA_Mom]

I know what you are saying but trying to raise young children alone on one income is very hard. I am facing losing my job because I can no longer pay my daycare provider. It is depressing and I was hoping that if I reduced the amount and schedule a payment plan where the first payment be due in two weeks I could salvage my childcare situation and at least have Christmas presents for the kids. He has made some payments but never the full amount or consistently.

My family feels the way you do - just let the legal system deal with him. Plus, I need to go back and have the order amended because currently it is only for one child not two (I made a mistake on my filings) but I'll just have to deal with that after the holidays.

 

[brisgirl825]

I know what you are saying but trying to raise young children alone on one income is very hard. I am facing losing my job because I can no longer pay my daycare provider. It is depressing and I was hoping that if I reduced the amount and schedule a payment plan where the first payment be due in two weeks I could salvage my childcare situation and at least have Christmas presents for the kids. He has made some payments but never the full amount or consistently.

My family feels the way you do - just let the legal system deal with him. Plus, I need to go back and have the order amended because currently it is only for one child not two (I made a mistake on my filings) but I'll just have to deal with that after the holidays.

I know exactly how you feel.

I was working, living on my own, and had no car. I was netting about $800 a month and had to pay daycare $600. As you can imagine, it didn't take long before I was running into the hole. I was getting rides to work by my ex step-fahter. When he and my mom divorced, he left with the car and I had no way to work or to daycare. As luck, fate, Karma, would have it, Bri proposed to me and I moved in with him a couple wks later, after our elopement.

I know 100% what you are going through. Had Brian not been there, I would have been on the street and the ex didn't care.

If you need to, ask for welfare services. You may qualify for daycare programs, that in itself is a huge benefit.

 

[betterthanher]

They don't work for the obligee, they work for the state. It is in the state's interests to make sure that the NCP pays support so that the CP isn't on welfare.
It is also not a free deal. When I finally got CS from my ex, CSE garnished a % to pay for their services.

I believe every state has the CP pay a "processing" or "administrative" fee. And the state's also have a monetary interest in collecting CS. It was just recently announced the states that collected the most child support. And Ohio was #1. The states treat collecting child support like it's a contest because state's stand to get billions of dollars from the Feds.