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Dividing Up Property when You Were Not Married

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Rose214

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

My significant other and myself have been in the process of splitting up since December of 2010. We are not married. He is an alcoholic and in December had grabbed me and twisted my arm and I asked him to move out which he did. I have been living in our home since then without him. He originally owned the house and we were suppose to buy another home but decided verbally that we would put an addition on the house he previously owned (which was 900sq ft.) of 2,000 square feet and the house would be ours equally in 2007. Both our names have been on the mortgage since then but the deed was not in both our names until November of 2010. That was a mistake on the part of the title company which we rectified in November.
Since our split he had wanted me to buy him out of the house but now it seems he is changing his mind. The market is extremely bad and he realizes if I buy him out he won't get much money. He wants me to stay in the house until my son graduates from high school in June of 2012. Then he wants me to move out and give the house back to him. He says the reason for this is because he owned the house prior and has more equity in it than I do. I have put every penny I have into this house and so did he while we were together. Stupidly we entangled our finances and have a few credit cards together. We lived financially like we were married. There was even one year where he was unemployed for almost 6 months and his income was limited and I paid the bulk of the bills just like any "wife" would do.
I just want things to be fair. He had come up with the solution of me buying him out when I originally told him that when my son graduates high school we could put the house up for sale. That was another verbal agreement we had when we decided to get a mortgage together, that if we ever did split up my son and I would stay until he finished high school.
Emotionally and verbally we had agreed the house was ours together or I would never have agreed to the addition on this home and would have preferred to build or buy another home.
Legally what would be decided? I am at the point where I feel I might need to get an attorney but would like some advice.

Thank you in advance.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


ecmst12

Senior Member
Since you were not married, the process is quite different. You can't go through family court to settle it, it is just a real estate matter between unrelated people. How is the title currently worded?
 

Rose214

Junior Member
I am heading to see the county clerk tomorrow about filing a PFA because he threatened to just move back in and I am terrified of that. While I am there I will go and get a copy of the deed. I do appreciate your replies and thank you.
 

Banned_Princess

Senior Member
I am heading to see the county clerk tomorrow about filing a PFA because he threatened to just move back in and I am terrified of that. While I am there I will go and get a copy of the deed. I do appreciate your replies and thank you.
Oh if it is deeded to him as well, he can definitely move back in.

I really don't think threatening to move back in is threat enough for a TRO or PFA. wait. by PFA, you mean a restraining order right?


Have you ever had him arrested for actual battery before?
 

Rose214

Junior Member
PFA Protection from Abuse

When I spoke to the woman at the clerk's office I gave her the history which was emotional abuse, verbal, and then lastly it got physical. I know in the eyes of the law with distribution of property, abuse does not mean anything. But am I afraid of him, yes.
Did people witness his verbal abuse; many times.
She said that even without a police report it would probably be granted. I know I can't live and breath with him in the house again. I can't believed I ever lived like that.
 

Banned_Princess

Senior Member
PFA Protection from Abuse

When I spoke to the woman at the clerk's office I gave her the history which was emotional abuse, verbal, and then lastly it got physical. I know in the eyes of the law with distribution of property, abuse does not mean anything. But am I afraid of him, yes.
Did people witness his verbal abuse; many times.
She said that even without a police report it would probably be granted. I know I can't live and breath with him in the house again. I can't believed I ever lived like that.
as I suspected...

well, let us know if the PFA (i couldn't remember what the letters stood for,but I knew what it was. NY calls them RO, TRO, RFO, ect...) goes through or not, because that will be what keeps him out.

I am sincerely concerned you wont get a restraining order, unless it is a refrain from order, that keeps him out of his house...
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
Did you report the physical abuse? Did you go to the ER? Were there documented injuries? Witnesses? If not, I think a restraining order is unlikely. Certainly not for verbal abuse. It's his house too, he has as much right to live there as you do. There are no good options to dividing a house if one party won't agree to let the other buy out. You can put the house up for sale and split the proceeds or you can file a partition suit which pretty much makes no one happy (from my understanding). You can't force him to move out and he can't force YOU to move out. And most likely unless one of you can refinance the loan in your name alone, the other person won't be able to get out of the loan obligation. I think selling the house is going to be the only good option. You may wish to consult a real estate lawyer.
 

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