Divorce, Adoption, Custody with step child

[SujuSarang]

What is the name of your state? Wyoming
Husband and I are split up, haven’t legally divorced yet or submitted any paperwork. He has a biological daughter, she is 10. I have raised her with him since she was 2 and bio mom has never asked or exercised her visitation. We were beginning the process of trying to prove abandonment to strip her mother’s parental rights and allow me to adopt when we split up because of infidelity on his part. Our daughter is aware she is not biologically mine but only knows me as mom and hasn’t spent time with bio mom since she was 1. Husband wants me to have rights and still coparent and we have so far been amicable. How do we do this when we are divorcing? Out daughter is living with me and attending school and I have power of attorney only to make educational and medical etc decisions on her behalf, given to me by husband, but I know this is not the same as custody. I am not looking to take away his rights, just give me rights too through, before, and after this divorce. He is more than willing to work with me and wants me to be in her life and have her continue living with me. Help?

 

[Zigner]

It is offensive that you refer to the child's mother as the "bio mom" - she is the mother.

The child is not yours. You have no legal rights to the child. You and the child's father can agree to you spending time with the child, but it is not the court's place to order that. Frankly, it is foolish for you (and the father) to think you will be able to continue the charade you have had in place for the last 8 years...I can guarantee you that dad's next partner is not going to be happy with this.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

We were beginning the process of trying to prove abandonment to strip her mother’s parental rights and allow me to adopt when we split up because of infidelity on his part.

If you lead the court to believe that you and the father are in a happy marriage in order to first strip the mother of rights and then adopt the child that would be considered a fraud upon the court.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Wyoming
Husband and I are split up, haven’t legally divorced yet or submitted any paperwork. He has a biological daughter, she is 10. I have raised her with him since she was 2 and bio mom has never asked or exercised her visitation. We were beginning the process of trying to prove abandonment to strip her mother’s parental rights and allow me to adopt when we split up because of infidelity on his part. Our daughter is aware she is not biologically mine but only knows me as mom and hasn’t spent time with bio mom since she was 1. Husband wants me to have rights and still coparent and we have so far been amicable. How do we do this when we are divorcing? Out daughter is living with me and attending school and I have power of attorney only to make educational and medical etc decisions on her behalf, given to me by husband, but I know this is not the same as custody. I am not looking to take away his rights, just give me rights too through, before, and after this divorce. He is more than willing to work with me and wants me to be in her life and have her continue living with me. Help?

You have no rights to this child. You would have to serve MOTHER to get any rights to this child. She is NOT your daughter.

 

[stealth2]

The long and the short of it is that you will not be given any sort of parenting time or custody by the court - you are not a parent. Period. Your time with this child will be at Dad's pleasure. And yes, you may find that such an arrangement end once he has a SO. She will not be amused at his entanglement with you. Sorry, but that's how it goes.

You could, of course, work with Dad and a therapist to try to stay together for the child's sake. You're adults and can suck it up for 8 more years.