divorce after 12 year seperation

[jimmer732]

Hello, maybe someone can help me. I live in NJ and have been seperated from my wife for 12 years, she lives in NC. What would be the easiest or best method of divorse. We have a son and he has always lived with me. He is 19 now and in college. Any information would be deeply appreciated.
.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Hello, maybe someone can help me. I live in NJ and have been seperated from my wife for 12 years, she lives in NC. What would be the easiest or best method of divorse. We have a son and he has always lived with me. He is 19 now and in college. Any information would be deeply appreciated.
.

My response:

Well, the "best" way is to always hire an attorney.

If money is a problem, you can do it yourself by buying a book on the subject at Barnes & Noble Booksellers.

IAAL

 

[neverendit]

Ah...I beg to differ!

So that IAAL doesn't climb down my throat, I'll preface this response stating that I am not an attorney, and only base this opinion, on my personal experience.

My humble opinion only, is that the best way is for you to contact your wife in hopes of coming to an equitable divorce agreement prior to contacting an attorney, and keep it out of court!

My second choice would for you both to visit a qualified mediator together in hopes of keeping it out of court.

My last choice would be to hire attorney's and battle it in court.

Much depends on your state law, circumstances, etc.


Okay IAAL, let me have it! It's been almost a day since a good attorney has taken their shot at my hide.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Okay IAAL, let me have it! It's been almost a day since a good attorney has taken their shot at my hide.

My response:

Just what the hell is wrong with you, anyway? "Contact the wife, get a mediator" - - for what? To waste time and energy?

Can't you read?

These two haven't been together for 12 years ! They don't even share any property, or our writer would have said so. Hell, after so many years, I would suspect that they don't really even "know" each other anymore, with the exception of their memories from the distant past.

They have an adult child, so there's no issues of "custody" or
"support" in this matter.

All our writer wants to do is "move on" with his life; and, the way to do that is to hire an attorney to file the proper Petition, or to buy and good book and do it himself. There's NOTHING to mediate after 12 years of separation !

The issue of divorce, once filed, is a foregone conclusion, and will be granted. So there's nothing to mediate in that regard.

And, just what the heck do you mean by, "keeping it out of court"? Where did you think divorce decrees come from, a cereal box? Someone is going to have to go to court to make an appearance in court at some point, and that "someone" is usually the Petitioner - - at the very least !

How's that for taking a chunk out of your hide?

IAAL

 

[neverendit]

Thank you sir! May I have another!

Keeping it out of court simply meant not allowing the blood thirsty attorney's who just love to spin the meter at our expense, especially by taping into the emotional aspect of the case, causing both parties to fued. If both parties can agree on the terms of the divorce, then there's no need for you then is there?

Your comment, "well the best way is to always hire an attorney". That's not at all self serving now is it?

Admit it buddy, you're a certified expert at it. How many times have you thought about pushing the right emotional button in order to cause the case to run just a bit further, get the paying customer to fight just a bit harder, open up another aspect of the case. Hell, it's part of your training!

How many times do you go to bed at night thinking about the children in a family law case with a custody dispute? How often can you even remember the names of the kids involved?

By the way, I happen to have the rare attorney who does know my kids.....personally! She in fact does take great pains to keep a lid on costs, and is extremely ethical. And....I have won every court appearance before me. The problem is.....the 99% in the "other" catagory referred to above.

Now, let's just see if you'll address the facts here, or use your talent and experience to detract from the real issue. What personal attack can you employ to argue your position and steer away from the truth?


Give it to me buddy.......I love a good beating! Especially when it's free!

ps: Does this mean you won't offer me any more advice in the future?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

You have no idea what you're talking about - - in terms of the writer's original post - - and I'm not going to argue or discuss your agenda, e.g. "I happen to have the rare attorney who does know my kids.....personally! She in fact does take great pains to keep a lid on costs, and is extremely ethical. And....I have won every court appearance before me."

What the hell has THAT got to do with the original writer's post?
You're obviously not reading or unable to comprehend. The writer said his son is 19 years old - - an adult ! So, why are you bringing up YOUR situation, when you and your children have NOTHING to do with an adult child of our writer's marriage?

Our writer simply asked - -
"What would be the easiest or best method of divorse (sic)", and I responded, "hire an attorney" or "buy a book."

Reread the writer's post, and then YOU tell me WHY your last response is cogent to any of THOSE issues in the writer's post. Stick to the issues of our writer's post - - not YOUR issues.

IAAL

 

[neverendit]

Ah yes.....That was easy!

Simply put, the writer asks for the easiest or best method for divorce. Hiring an attorney is not necessarily always it.

If they both agree, they do it themselves and keep it from being litigated.

Hiring an attorney right out of the gate allows for a great deal of liability in terms of possible fees if either attorney pushes the right button and gets the fight going. That's what's "cogent" about my post.

Now.....care to deal with the issue?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Issue is closed. You're an idiot, and there's no reason for me to continue a dialog with an idiot.

IAAL

 

[neverendit]

Maybe.....


or maybe there's just a bit of truth to it, and you can't debate it. To be perfectly honest, my post was for those you've torn into in the past.

It's been fun.


ps: Better a rich idiot, than a poor & ignorant defendant!

 

[Gilly Bean]

Hello, maybe someone can help me. I live in NJ and have been seperated from my wife for 12 years, she lives in NC. What would be the easiest or best method of divorse. We have a son and he has always lived with me. He is 19 now and in college. Any information would be deeply appreciated.
.

Well, just as an observer... if you two have been seperated for that long, I would think it would be easy enough to both agree to a quick divorce. I mean, you don't have the every day interaction with each other, you live seperatly, pay bills seperatly, etc. Contact her, see what she wants to do about the situation. Could be that she just wants it over with just as quickly as you do. Once that is done, contact one lawyer together who might be able to over see everything quickly. I am not sure if that's allowed where the both of you are, but hey, it's just my oppinion on what I would do in that situation. Don't look for ways to make it harder then it has to be. Look first for the quick painless route. If it doesn't work.. hey, no harm in trying, is there?