divorce settlement

[jean44]

I have been married for almost 2 years. My husband is an alcoholic, but I knew that before we married. I have manic depression, but have not had any problems with the disorder for the last three years. When my husband drinks, he becomes violent and physically hurts me. He also mentally abuses me frequently whether he is drinking or not. We moved into his home when we married and bought some land adjoining the home later. He refers to all of the land and home, money as ours until he goes on a binge, which is now. I have been told to take my things and get out of the house and he will leave me nothing. He said I should feel lucky to have had a roof over my head for the last two years. This is not the first time he has done this to me, but I am afraid and don't want to be hurt anymore. I keep his books for his business, write his checks, pay his bills, go to graduate school full time and teach a college class for little money. It will be extremely hard to leave because he has controlled what money I have since we were married. He told me he plans to take me to court and get it all. We had no prenuptial agreement, so I don't know what to do. The violence is getting worse though and I think it is because he believes I am stuck in his situation. I love my sober husband, but the one who is drinking is not only hurting me physically, but is pushing me toward a reoccurrence of my illness. What should I do? He plans to kick me out of the house tomorrow.I live in Arkansas, and there is medical documentation to prove his violent acts toward me. I have been in the ER once with a concussion.

 

[Tigres]

How does he plan on kicking you out? If he literally intends to drag you from the house, that is simple enough, call the police. Dear, you should have called the police and gotten a restraining order a long time ago. I don't care what hubby is like sober. I am not blaming you for what he is doing to you, but this is something that every abused person needs to realize one day. You are giving him permission to continue to abuse you by staying with him througout this. So, what's a little more pain?

Plant yourself somewhere (naked in the bath tub preferably as it makes him even more of a jerk if he does throw you out physically) and set up a tape recorder. First words out of his mouth threatening you physically, calmly get up (if you are naked, wrap a towel around yourself) go to the phone and call the police. Report your previously abusive spouse for threatening further abuse and then follow through with the temp rest. order and then a permanent one.

Leave the tape recorder on and no matter what he does, don't threaten a thing back.

That is what I would do in your situation anyway. Only you are actually in it and only you can decide what you will do with yourself.

Tig