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Divorce

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A

Aelksgamer

Member
Virginia


I found my wife is doing shop lifting it's over about a month ago. She agreed that she won't do it again, but now she is doing every week and stealing clothes/items from stores like target,kohls other stores. I have 3yrs old daughter and my wife is 7 months pregnant. She is keeping that pregnancy as a cover and stealing stuff from stores.
Im decided to work on separation after the baby delivery is over and moved to INDIA ,because she is not trust worthy and she is ready to do anything if i move to INDIA as well.

I need advice on how can i stop her from stealing these items.
 


Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Aelksgamer said:
Virginia


I found my wife is doing shop lifting it's over about a month ago. She agreed that she won't do it again, but now she is doing every week and stealing clothes/items from stores like target,kohls other stores. I have 3yrs old daughter and my wife is 7 months pregnant. She is keeping that pregnancy as a cover and stealing stuff from stores.
Im decided to work on separation after the baby delivery is over and moved to INDIA ,because she is not trust worthy and she is ready to do anything if i move to INDIA as well.

I need advice on how can i stop her from stealing these items.
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If she is caught shoplifting and your daughter is with her, expect to lose your daughter as CPS will step in. Also, you may not be able to move to INDIA with the child. Not without permission of the court.
 
Ohiogal

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Aelksgamer said:
My daughter is india born and CPS will have authority to hold my daughter?
My wife goes alone for shopping and will hide the dresses/items and will use it when i'm not in home.



On this case,She agreed to the cops and court that she put the false allegation on me and we have compromised this case in the court.
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Is she in this country? If so, then yes. CPS could step in and remove your daughter if she is with your wife. Or if your wife is arrested it is possible they could try. Also if your wife is caught and jailed while pregnant, that could give CPS the reason to start an investigation.

While you say you are going to get a divorce and move with the children to India, you might not be able to do that if mom argues against it.
 
A

Aelksgamer

Member
As a father,I don't want any harm to happen to my kids because of her behavior and she is not ready to attend any family consultations .
 
T

t74

Member
I assume you are on H-1B and she and child are H4.

You should consider leaving your US job and return to India. Their status then becomes invalid. Consult with an immigration attorney to see if you can take your child with you since she will no longer be legally in the US. File for divorce in India ASAP.

I suggest this because it will be easier to resume your work in the US without a criminal record than to continue with one.

If you have not moved out of the house, do so. You will have to support the household, but this will protect yourself from domestic violence charges and protective orders. I am sure you have a friend with a sofa you can use until you can relocate.

If you fear for your child, call child services. They will do a welfare check. If the child is in danger, she will be removed from the home. You will then have to deal with that problem, but she will be safe. I do not know about child services in your state, but in mine, I would report her actions to them. Get the opinion of a family law attorney in your area who deals with child custody issues for advice as how best to protect your current and unborn children.

Since you will lose your health insurance when you leave your job, your wife will find it difficult to get a private physician and would have to use Medicaid for delivery. This is a black mark against her. A US born child grants her no privileges to remain in the US.

Please post back and let us know how you and your child are doing.
 
not2cleverRed

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Aelksgamer said:
My daughter is india born and CPS will have authority to hold my daughter?
My wife goes alone for shopping and will hide the dresses/items and will use it when i'm not in home.
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Yes: CPS can remove your child and place her in foster care if they believe that is necessary. Her citizenship i not a factor - whether they believe she is being abused is the primary criterion.

Aelksgamer said:
As a father,I don't want any harm to happen to my kids because of her behavior and she is not ready to attend any family consultations .
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She's not ready, but you have concerns - get help for yourself.

You work on you. You cannot make her change; you can only change how you react to the situation.
 
quincy

quincy

Senior Member
bcr229 said:
Short of monitoring her 24/7 you can't stop her.

Have you contacted your wife's OB/GYN to discuss this sudden behavior change?
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I think bcr229’s suggestion is a good one. The wife should have a discussion about the thefts with her doctor. The wife may be suffering from an uncontrollable urge to steal items.

Kleptomania is a mental health problem and should be treated as such.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9878-kleptomania
 
Zigner

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
t74 said:
I assume you are on H-1B and she and child are H4.

You should consider leaving your US job and return to India. Their status then becomes invalid. Consult with an immigration attorney to see if you can take your child with you since she will no longer be legally in the US. File for divorce in India ASAP.

I suggest this because it will be easier to resume your work in the US without a criminal record than to continue with one.
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I'm not sure that it's wise to suggest that the OP flee the country at this time.
 
Z

zddoodah

Active Member
Aelksgamer said:
I need advice on how can i stop her from stealing these items.
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You can follow her around all the time. You can go to the stores you mentioned and give the store managers her picture and tell them to be on the lookout. I'm sure there are a good handful of other ways, including many that wouldn't be legal.


Aelksgamer said:
My daughter is india born and CPS will have authority to hold my daughter?
Click to expand...
Hold her for what purpose? Her place of birth isn't relevant, by the way.


Aelksgamer said:
Is it ok to discuss with my wife's OB/GYN about her sudden changes[stealing] ?
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There is no law that says you may not do that. Of course, it will be up to the doctor to participate in the discussion (or not).

Obviously, you should be consulting with a divorce attorney.
 
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