DM went above authority and decided relocation case

[Zigner]

The woman and I just crossed paths about 2 weeks ago and she asked how things were going. Then the topic got brought up about her not responding she was dumbfounded and said no one had ever tried contacting her

It's also possible that she just never got the message. That doesn't mean that an attempt (or attempts) were not made.

 

[Just Blue]

The courts hired a 3rd party and he was charged with it you big mouth

Then, as I said, you knowingly placed your 7 year old in the primary custody of an abusive father and moved hundreds of miles away. That you would do that makes you unfit.

If you go to court and start slinging the mud at dad, expect to get some splash back at your terrible and selfish choices.

 

[justiceforb]

No the child wants to move with me and doesn't like his life at fathers. Father consistently yells at him

 

[justiceforb]

It's also possible that she just never got the message. That doesn't mean that an attempt (or attempts) were not made.

and boys are extremely close talk multiple times a day. play games online together.

 

[Just Blue]

Which really proves nothing. She doesn't remember, she didn't get the messages, she's lying to you, etc.

I am assuming that your husband's child lives in NE. What your son sees is that you put your husband and his child ahead of your own. True or not, in the eyes of a child...

Based on OP's posting it's sadly true.

 

[Zigner]

No the child wants to move with me and doesn't like his life at fathers. Father consistently yells at him

Have you told your son that you were going to try to get him to come live with you?

 

[justiceforb]

It's also possible that she just never got the message. That doesn't mean that an attempt (or attempts) were not made.

when questioned the DM could not recall how he attempted to contact her a week after his decision

 

[Zigner]

when questioned the DM could not recall how he attempted to contact her a week after his decision

I thought this came up two weeks ago...

 

[justiceforb]

Crossing paths with her did but when questioned 4 years ago he did not recall

 

[Just Blue]

No the child wants to move with me and doesn't like his life at fathers. Father consistently yells at him

How did you explain to your (at the time) 7 year old that you were going to move away without him and leave him with the abusive father he fears? How does one explain that to a little boy?

 

[Just Blue]

Crossing paths with her did but when questioned 4 years ago he did not recall

Perhaps 4 years later the ex GF doesn't recall correctly.

 

[stealth2]

How did you explain to your (at the time) 7 year old that you were going to move away without him and leave him with the abusive father he fears? How does one explain that to a little boy?

Honestly, even absent abuse, kids don't understand adult reasons for being left behind - nor should they have to. That'ssomething the moving parent owns. Period.

Perhaps 4 years later the ex GF doesn't recall correctly.

If I understand correctly, OP asked the DM four years ago, and he couldn't remember how the ex-g/f was contacted. OP ran into ex-g/f two weeks ago. (and may well not remember clearly at this point...)

 

[not2cleverRed]

No the child wants to move with me and doesn't like his life at fathers. Father consistently yells at him

Have you ever heard the phrase, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"?

Your child is a tween. Even if Dad were Dad of the year material, it is likely that your child would rebel.

(Frankly, if you asked my teen, my teen would say that I yell at her constantly.)

when questioned the DM could not recall how he attempted to contact her a week after his decision

You HAVE to stop dwelling on this. Regardless of what the DM did, it was 4 YEARS AGO. Any change you wish to pursue has to be based on the current circumstances.

If you are serious about wanting to be more involved in your son's life, move back to CO; the current order is out of CO, and CO retains its jurisdiction. Anything you'd want to file, you would have to file in CO, and that's easier to do if you are living in CO.

Exercise your parenting time to the fullest, realizing that most courts would realistically not ding a parent for following local, state, and/or CDC guidelines during a pandemic. Become involved in the parenting groups related to your son's activities, both in and out of school.

Age/time passed can be a change of circumstance, but you have done nothing to improve how you would look in court. You CANNOT go in and say "I want a change in custody because the DM got it wrong 4 years ago." That's water under the bridge and will not fly. You CANNOT allege abuse without RECENT proof, because you've left the kid there for 4 years. It's not like you've got a founded case with CPS and Dad's on the child abuse registry. (And no sane parent wants that.)

I hope you have been in therapy. In fact, therapy would be good for the whole family.