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Do I have a case? Challenging shared parenting

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miranda1

Junior Member
Here it goes. I am nervous. Never solicted online information regarding my situation before. Found this while googling to see if I have any options. I am in Ohio.

I have been divorced for 2.5 years. This divorce followed a 5 year affair that my husband had with a woman who he moved to my neighborhood from another state before I even knew the affair was occuring. This women joined my church, enrolled her child at my kids school, attended my work events, tried to continously contact me, followed me and visited my home while I was out of town. I think the background here speaks to my concern that I have regarding this woman and her abnormal behavior.

In addition, she was convicted of child endangering for leaving her young child alone and going out late at night. The child was found wondering outside. She returned 2 hours later and lied to police about having a babysitter.

Fast forward several years and she is now married to my ex. They have moved into my neighborhood where I have lived since I was 12 -I am now in my 40's. My point is that they are in my face despite many requests for distance which I feel is needed for peace. I feel this is harrassment and it is certainly not consistent with trying to create peace.

I really feel that this woman's behavior and history are very concerning. I fear her influence over my children is very detrimental. I feel my ex is very submissive to her and she is on some kind of plan to take over my life and kids.

My children are 13, 10 and 7.

She continously emails me despite being asked not to. She also contact my kid's teachers and stuff like that that i think is over-stepping.

She continuosuly tries to point to my parenting as being poor - things like my children not wearing proper coats when it is cold and wrinkeled clothes. Basically, ridiculous things that cause constant drama.

My ex and she have decided not to send kids (mostly my oldest son) to some extracurricular activities. Baseball, basketball, soccer, etc. - not really going over well for these guys. Unilateral decision without any discussion. They say it is because of grades although standards vary by kid. If grades are OK, they they point to attitude. This is mostly impacting my 13 old. He feels that they just don't want him to play because of the time commitment. Consequently, I have volunteered to handle all the running. And my son, does not want to be with his dad.

My ex will not even speak with me about anything so there is very poor communication. I have requested a parenting coordinator and he has refused. He tells me I have rehash issues and yell and scream. Early on this was true but it has not been true for more than 3 years. I just want peace and no matter what I do, I have chaos. If it isn't one thing, it is another. All the time. The stress in unbelievable and the anger for me and my children is growing.

I have engaged therapists to work with the kids and he refuses to let them go - revoked consent to treat. When asked why, he tells me the therapist "lied" to him but doesn't give more information.

I believe that this step parent is the reason for all of the continued problems. All email correspondance that we have, she is copied in on. She often then tries to engage me despite requests not to have to interact with her.

I want her interaction with me to stop. Do you think I am reasonable in my request and do I have a legal option and, if so, should I take it? I am desperate for some reprieve but son't want to make it worse if it could even be worse.

Do I have any possibility of a case that could change custoday? My children and I need peace and calm. This arangement perpetuates chaos and conflict. My previous attorney told me this would be difficult in court but I am really at my wits end. Any input woud be helpful.
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
Here it goes. I am nervous. Never solicted online information regarding my situation before. Found this while googling to see if I have any options. I am in Ohio.

I have been divorced for 2.5 years. This divorce followed a 5 year affair that my husband had with a woman who he moved to my neighborhood from another state before I even knew the affair was occuring. This women joined my church, enrolled her child at my kids school, attended my work events, tried to continously contact me, followed me and visited my home while I was out of town. I think the background here speaks to my concern that I have regarding this woman and her abnormal behavior.

In addition, she was convicted of child endangering for leaving her young child alone and going out late at night. The child was found wondering outside. She returned 2 hours later and lied to police about having a babysitter.

Fast forward several years and she is now married to my ex. They have moved into my neighborhood where I have lived since I was 12 -I am now in my 40's. My point is that they are in my face despite many requests for distance which I feel is needed for peace. I feel this is harrassment and it is certainly not consistent with trying to create peace.

I really feel that this woman's behavior and history are very concerning. I fear her influence over my children is very detrimental. I feel my ex is very submissive to her and she is on some kind of plan to take over my life and kids.

My children are 13, 10 and 7.

She continously emails me despite being asked not to. She also contact my kid's teachers and stuff like that that i think is over-stepping.

She continuosuly tries to point to my parenting as being poor - things like my children not wearing proper coats when it is cold and wrinkeled clothes. Basically, ridiculous things that cause constant drama.

My ex and she have decided not to send kids (mostly my oldest son) to some extracurricular activities. Baseball, basketball, soccer, etc. - not really going over well for these guys. Unilateral decision without any discussion. They say it is because of grades although standards vary by kid. If grades are OK, they they point to attitude. This is mostly impacting my 13 old. He feels that they just don't want him to play because of the time commitment. Consequently, I have volunteered to handle all the running. And my son, does not want to be with his dad.

My ex will not even speak with me about anything so there is very poor communication. I have requested a parenting coordinator and he has refused. He tells me I have rehash issues and yell and scream. Early on this was true but it has not been true for more than 3 years. I just want peace and no matter what I do, I have chaos. If it isn't one thing, it is another. All the time. The stress in unbelievable and the anger for me and my children is growing.

I have engaged therapists to work with the kids and he refuses to let them go - revoked consent to treat. When asked why, he tells me the therapist "lied" to him but doesn't give more information.

I believe that this step parent is the reason for all of the continued problems. All email correspondance that we have, she is copied in on. She often then tries to engage me despite requests not to have to interact with her.

I want her interaction with me to stop. Do you think I am reasonable in my request and do I have a legal option and, if so, should I take it? I am desperate for some reprieve but son't want to make it worse if it could even be worse.

Do I have any possibility of a case that could change custoday? My children and I need peace and calm. This arangement perpetuates chaos and conflict. My previous attorney told me this would be difficult in court but I am really at my wits end. Any input woud be helpful.
No, not in my opinion. I think you are being too sensitive, actually. Moving into "your" neighborhood, however long you've lived there, is an indication of willingness to co-parent most effectively.

Extracurricular activities are not to be scheduled on the other parent's time. That seems to be a basic problem for you parents. Also, the children don't choose when and whether they spend time with their parent/s.

ETA: You don't have to deal with Dad through Stepmom. That's a matter you can stand on: simply refuse and insist on speaking or emailing with Dad. Don't engage Stepmom.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Here it goes. I am nervous. Never solicted online information regarding my situation before. Found this while googling to see if I have any options. I am in Ohio.

I have been divorced for 2.5 years. This divorce followed a 5 year affair that my husband had with a woman who he moved to my neighborhood from another state before I even knew the affair was occuring. This women joined my church, enrolled her child at my kids school, attended my work events, tried to continously contact me, followed me and visited my home while I was out of town. I think the background here speaks to my concern that I have regarding this woman and her abnormal behavior.

In addition, she was convicted of child endangering for leaving her young child alone and going out late at night. The child was found wondering outside. She returned 2 hours later and lied to police about having a babysitter.

Fast forward several years and she is now married to my ex. They have moved into my neighborhood where I have lived since I was 12 -I am now in my 40's. My point is that they are in my face despite many requests for distance which I feel is needed for peace. I feel this is harrassment and it is certainly not consistent with trying to create peace.

I really feel that this woman's behavior and history are very concerning. I fear her influence over my children is very detrimental. I feel my ex is very submissive to her and she is on some kind of plan to take over my life and kids.

My children are 13, 10 and 7.

She continously emails me despite being asked not to. She also contact my kid's teachers and stuff like that that i think is over-stepping.

She continuosuly tries to point to my parenting as being poor - things like my children not wearing proper coats when it is cold and wrinkeled clothes. Basically, ridiculous things that cause constant drama.

My ex and she have decided not to send kids (mostly my oldest son) to some extracurricular activities. Baseball, basketball, soccer, etc. - not really going over well for these guys. Unilateral decision without any discussion. They say it is because of grades although standards vary by kid. If grades are OK, they they point to attitude. This is mostly impacting my 13 old. He feels that they just don't want him to play because of the time commitment. Consequently, I have volunteered to handle all the running. And my son, does not want to be with his dad.

My ex will not even speak with me about anything so there is very poor communication. I have requested a parenting coordinator and he has refused. He tells me I have rehash issues and yell and scream. Early on this was true but it has not been true for more than 3 years. I just want peace and no matter what I do, I have chaos. If it isn't one thing, it is another. All the time. The stress in unbelievable and the anger for me and my children is growing.

I have engaged therapists to work with the kids and he refuses to let them go - revoked consent to treat. When asked why, he tells me the therapist "lied" to him but doesn't give more information.

I believe that this step parent is the reason for all of the continued problems. All email correspondance that we have, she is copied in on. She often then tries to engage me despite requests not to have to interact with her.

I want her interaction with me to stop. Do you think I am reasonable in my request and do I have a legal option and, if so, should I take it? I am desperate for some reprieve but son't want to make it worse if it could even be worse.

Do I have any possibility of a case that could change custoday? My children and I need peace and calm. This arangement perpetuates chaos and conflict. My previous attorney told me this would be difficult in court but I am really at my wits end. Any input woud be helpful.
Miranda1, I have sent your link to an Ohio Attorney/GAL that posts on here.

Blue
 

miranda1

Junior Member
Thanks for posts so far.

We have a shared parenting arrangement but follow a schedule at the advice of my attorney to try to eliminate chaos often caused by negoitation and interaction. Children are with me about 65% of time.

About being over sensitive about the neighborhood - let me also tell you that she bought the same car I had, had her look transformed to mine, sought out my friends (via facebook) for relationships and joined my religion ( was another faith until she moved). Trust me - I am nowhere near over-sensitive. In fact, I let most things roll off these days. The neighborhood example was only one example. There are many many examples that I believe border on abnormal behavior. But that is not really my point - Like I said, I can let most things roll off at this point. I beleive this behavior is totally perpetuating chaos ---and that I beleive is the intent - to cause chaos. If they don't get a rise out me, they turn to something that impacts the kids. And that continues to get a rise out of me because it is harming them, I beleive.

I understand that each person is entitled to parent the kids as they see fit and commit or not commit to extracurricular activities. I included this because I beleive it is just one example of many of the ways that conflict is constantly perpetuated. When i said if it is not one thing, it is another, I really mean that. Yesterday, I had a chaotic interaction because my children did not wear winter coats to school - it was 50 degrees. It was stupid. but my kids were upset. They were driven to my house to get coats while I was not home and couldn't find them and so forth. It was ridiculous. It is almost like there is a constant need to have conflict with me. I can block this out. I can laugh it off. But it is seriously affecting my children. This not playing sports is contributing to major anger and resentment and possibly depression in my son. And I beleive the main motivation is to make me mad. And he feels he cannot meet their standards because if he does, they will raise the bar. And the therapist who knows the story and could help - has helped - is out of the equation because dad revoked constent to treat (I beleive because he didn't like the things the therapist was propsing which required Dad to do things differently).
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Here it goes. I am nervous. Never solicted online information regarding my situation before. Found this while googling to see if I have any options. I am in Ohio.

I have been divorced for 2.5 years. This divorce followed a 5 year affair that my husband had with a woman who he moved to my neighborhood from another state before I even knew the affair was occuring. This women joined my church, enrolled her child at my kids school, attended my work events, tried to continously contact me, followed me and visited my home while I was out of town. I think the background here speaks to my concern that I have regarding this woman and her abnormal behavior.

In addition, she was convicted of child endangering for leaving her young child alone and going out late at night. The child was found wondering outside. She returned 2 hours later and lied to police about having a babysitter.

Fast forward several years and she is now married to my ex. They have moved into my neighborhood where I have lived since I was 12 -I am now in my 40's. My point is that they are in my face despite many requests for distance which I feel is needed for peace. I feel this is harrassment and it is certainly not consistent with trying to create peace.
You share children with her husband. He is living near his children.

I really feel that this woman's behavior and history are very concerning. I fear her influence over my children is very detrimental. I feel my ex is very submissive to her and she is on some kind of plan to take over my life and kids.
So he was submissive to you?

My children are 13, 10 and 7.

She continously emails me despite being asked not to. She also contact my kid's teachers and stuff like that that i think is over-stepping.
If the children's father gives her permission, she can have contact with the children's teachers and stuff like that.

She continuosuly tries to point to my parenting as being poor - things like my children not wearing proper coats when it is cold and wrinkeled clothes. Basically, ridiculous things that cause constant drama.
And I read ahead -- you are pointing out that you think her parenting is poor.

My ex and she have decided not to send kids (mostly my oldest son) to some extracurricular activities. Baseball, basketball, soccer, etc. - not really going over well for these guys. Unilateral decision without any discussion. They say it is because of grades although standards vary by kid. If grades are OK, they they point to attitude. This is mostly impacting my 13 old. He feels that they just don't want him to play because of the time commitment. Consequently, I have volunteered to handle all the running. And my son, does not want to be with his dad.
So what does the shared parenting plan state regarding extracurricular activities -- redact personal identifiers but type it word for word.


My ex will not even speak with me about anything so there is very poor communication. I have requested a parenting coordinator and he has refused. He tells me I have rehash issues and yell and scream. Early on this was true but it has not been true for more than 3 years. I just want peace and no matter what I do, I have chaos. If it isn't one thing, it is another. All the time. The stress in unbelievable and the anger for me and my children is growing.
Stress for who? Are you in counseling?


I have engaged therapists to work with the kids and he refuses to let them go - revoked consent to treat. When asked why, he tells me the therapist "lied" to him but doesn't give more information.
And? Was he allowed to attend therapy?

I believe that this step parent is the reason for all of the continued problems. All email correspondance that we have, she is copied in on. She often then tries to engage me despite requests not to have to interact with her.
That is speculation quite frankly.

I want her interaction with me to stop. Do you think I am reasonable in my request and do I have a legal option and, if so, should I take it? I am desperate for some reprieve but son't want to make it worse if it could even be worse.
You have not listed a reason for shared parenting plan to terminate.

Do I have any possibility of a case that could change custoday? My children and I need peace and calm. This arangement perpetuates chaos and conflict. My previous attorney told me this would be difficult in court but I am really at my wits end. Any input woud be helpful.
Truthfully, get into counseling yourself.
 

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