Do I have a case? Gave money to someone who lied to me in Florida.

[ADR123]

How soon after the "engagement" did you hand over the car and the money? How soon after that did he end things?

ETA: How long did you know him before the "engagement"?

2 1/2 years. We lived together for 1 1/2 years of that time.

 

[Just Blue]

2 1/2 years. We lived together for 1 1/2 years of that time.

Does his wife know about you and the baby?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

If he bought a home that was to be for the two of you why were you not living in it or at least visiting from time to time?

 

[ADR123]

Are you saying that you were living together for nearly a year after you gave him money for the down payment on the home? Did you not inquire in all that time about the money?

No we lived together for 1 1/2 years in a rental that was in his name. When I became pregnant and we got engaged we looked for a town home to purchase. He purchased it in his name and needed $3000 (that I had saved for my maternity leave) to apply it to the down payment. I gave the money to him for the down payment with the assumption it was going to be our house once we were married.

 

[ADR123]

Does his wife know about you and the baby?

Yes. She knew about us. I did not know they were still married. They were separated but legally married and they both lied to me. Apparently I was the only person who did not know because I have since found out that the other members of his family knew this. It was a secret they all kept from me. It really sounds like a movie. The more I discuss it I am reminded of how stupid I was for trusting this man.

 

[ADR123]

If he bought a home that was to be for the two of you why were you not living in it or at least visiting from time to time?

His wife did not live in this home. Her name was on the paperwork I found through a public search and listed them as a married couple. He did not buy the home for her. She never lived in it. I lived in the home with him for 5 months before the baby and I left. I found out that he was married and purchased the home with his wife listed on the paperwork after I left.

 

[Zigner]

His wife did not live in this home. Her name was on the paperwork I found through a public search and listed them as a married couple. He did not buy the home for her. She never lived in it. I lived in the home with him for 5 months before the baby and I left. I found out that he was married and purchased the home with his wife listed on the paperwork after I left.

Boy, it sure would have helped if you had included that tidbit from the beginning. At this point, the money might be viewed as rent. Her name may have had to be on the unit with him since they were married. The same thing could have happened if you had moved in to his house that he had already owned with her before you met. As it stands, she still doesn't live there, so it sounds like they're still separated. Your chances at recovering that money are less than I had assumed previously.

 

[Just Blue]

Yes. She knew about us. I did not know they were still married. They were separated but legally married and they both lied to me. Apparently I was the only person who did not know because I have since found out that the other members of his family knew this. It was a secret they all kept from me. It really sounds like a movie. The more I discuss it I am reminded of how stupid I was for trusting this man.

Actually it seems link a long term con.

Look on the bright side...you didn't marry this scumbag POS. Take it to SMC and sue for both the 3k and the money for the car...you have nothing to lose and everything to win. After the case is over, win or lose, let the anger and hurt go. Keep in mind that you have a child together and it isn't in the childs best interest to witness contention between his/her parents.

Will you post back and let us know how this works out?

 

[ADR123]

Boy, it sure would have helped if you had included that tidbit from the beginning. At this point, the money might be viewed as rent. Her name may have had to be on the unit with him since they were married. The same thing could have happened if you had moved in to his house that he had already owned with her before you met. As it stands, she still doesn't live there, so it sounds like they're still separated. Your chances at recovering that money are less than I had assumed previously.

Yes, I believe her name had to be listed on it. It is still dishonest. I would have never given him the money if I knew he was married. I would have never been engaged or had a child or lived with him. Does his intent to be dishonest with me and take money from me matter in the court's eyes?

 

[ADR123]

Actually it seems link a long term con.

Look on the bright side...you didn't marry this scumbag POS. Take it to SMC and sue for both the 3k and the money for the car...you have nothing to lose and everything to win. After the case is over, win or lose, let the anger and hurt go. Keep in mind that you have a child together and it isn't in the childs best interest to witness contention between his/her parents.

Will you post back and let us know how this works out?

That is how I feel. I feel like I was scammed. Thank you for your advice. Just having an outsider listen to my story has helped me. I will keep you posted. We are currently in a child support case where he doesn't want to pay and he wants 50/50 custody to avoid paying.

 

[Zigner]

I disagree about this being a long-term con. Not in the sense that he met her with the sole intent of fleecing her by getting her pregnant and then getting $5k out of her.

 

[Just Blue]

That is how I feel. I feel like I was scammed. Thank you for your advice. Just having an outsider listen to my story has helped me. I will keep you posted. We are currently in a child support case where he doesn't want to pay and he wants 50/50 custody to avoid paying.

I do have to agree with Zig...Your followup post regarding the home makes it a harder case...but again it doesn't hurt to try. Best of luck to you and congrats on your new baby!! Keep in touch...

Blue

 

[Just Blue]

I disagree about this being a long-term con. Not in the sense that he met her with the sole intent of fleecing her by getting her pregnant and then getting $5k out of her.

OP's follow up post regarding the home changed my opinion.

 

[Zigner]

... he wants 50/50 custody to avoid paying.

Or maybe because he wants the chance to be a father to his child. Just sayin'

 

[Zigner]

This, to me, is beginning to sound more and more like a guy who simply got his live-in girlfriend pregnant while he was still married to his estranged wife. I'm not convinced that the guy is the pond-scum that the OP presents him as (well, not quite as much).