Do I have a chance to reform my life?

[depressedsoul38499]

What is the name of your state? New York

I am bedridden. I have severe scoliosis and I sit the whole day watching TV and reading in my wheelchair. I can't move. It is downright depressing.

I troll and make up stuff all the time posting it online. I admit it. Why? I can't use my imagination for anything else. I can't have a job, I can't date, I can't travel, I can't have fun. I am a hopeless human. I am dumb. I am hopeless. I have nothing to live for unlike you guys but I do so because I don't have the will to kill myself.

This right here is my social interaction for the day. This message I am sending you guys is my social life. Nobody wants to be friends with a disabled man like myself. When people message me, when people ban me, and when people comment on posts I make online it feels like I have a voice and that people care about me. It is so hard to live this way and to spam sites just to be heard in this world. I am 25, I am disabled, and I am hopeless, and I am a troll. That is my life.

I have made 400-500 posts on a website called reddit. Mainly on the reddit forums related to legal advice but also on some other subreddits. That is the only place I have trolled on.

It has hurt for me to admit all of this.

However, I am trying to get help and I have been seeing a therapist for around two weeks via Skype. It is a service I found online and I want to help myself to recover from this depression. However, I am worried about my past activities online. I never made any threats, never harassed anybody, and never committed any crimes in reality. I just made a bunch of fake posts and fake stories online. Some were creepy but that is it. I got called some vile names by people, but that is about it.

As I try to reform myself and make the most out of my pathetic life situation do you guys think I should worry about these past posts online?

Thanks for your help in advance. I really appreciate it.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? New York

I am bedridden. I have severe scoliosis and I sit the whole day watching TV and reading in my wheelchair. I can't move. It is downright depressing.

I troll and make up stuff all the time posting it online. I admit it. Why? I can't use my imagination for anything else. I can't have a job, I can't date, I can't travel, I can't have fun. I am a hopeless human. I am dumb. I am hopeless. I have nothing to live for unlike you guys but I do so because I don't have the will to kill myself.

This right here is my social interaction for the day. This message I am sending you guys is my social life. Nobody wants to be friends with a disabled man like myself. When people message me, when people ban me, and when people comment on posts I make online it feels like I have a voice and that people care about me. It is so hard to live this way and to spam sites just to be heard in this world. I am 25, I am disabled, and I am hopeless, and I am a troll. That is my life.

I have made 400-500 posts on a website called reddit. Mainly on the reddit forums related to legal advice but also on some other subreddits. That is the only place I have trolled on.

It has hurt for me to admit all of this.

However, I am trying to get help and I have been seeing a therapist for around two weeks via Skype. It is a service I found online and I want to help myself to recover from this depression. However, I am worried about my past activities online. I never made any threats, never harassed anybody, and never committed any crimes in reality. I just made a bunch of fake posts and fake stories online. Some were creepy but that is it. I got called some vile names by people, but that is about it.

As I try to reform myself and make the most out of my pathetic life situation do you guys think I should worry about these past posts online?

Thanks for your help in advance. I really appreciate it.

Stop trolling here.

 

[depressedsoul38499]

I am not a troll. I need sincere advice. I am asking an honest question. I wish I could have somebody to talk to. I hate that I was destined to have such a shitty life. I feel like I was born lifeless.

When people look at me they don't want to talk to a man in a wheel chair who is slouched over, crippled and hopeless. I am trying to make the best out of the situation I am in and trying to at least change my life by living the right away, even if I can't live it like I wanted to. I am just asking for a little advice. I want to fix myself.

 

[adjusterjack]

do you guys think I should worry about these past posts online?

No, not a bit. What's past is past. Forget about them. Just don't do it again and, certainly, don't do it here.

This site is for legal issues, not emotional issues.

However, I am sympathetic. My sister spent the last year battling breast cancer and now has a torn meniscus to address. At age 60 she is relatively unemployable if and when she recovers.

You're not the only one with serious problems.

I have a college friend that always worked "under the table" in his father's business. No records were kept. No FICA paid in. When his parents died he inherited their condo and some money that he lives on. No Social Security. He has to watch every penny he has. He has no car, can't go anywhere or do anything. He can't even afford to pay for long distance phone service. To my mind he is even more disabled than you are.

You're on the right track with your Skype therapist. Keep it going. Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward resolving it.

Meantime, if you want to channel your mind into something useful, go on Amazon, open a kindle account (it's free) and download kindle books to your computer. There are 100s maybe 1000s of books available for free on just about any topic you can imagine.

Start reading and keep reading. Read every day. Read every night. Read for fun. Read to learn.

If you can't do even that, I don't know what to tell you.

 

[depressedsoul38499]

Thank you adjusterjack.

It means a lot that you empathize with me. It is hard to find people who understand what I am going through. I know it is hard to believe and I understand that Just Blue thinks I am some fool, but I am being honest with you guys.

I will never make these posts again like I did on reddit and I respect this forum and will never do it here. I promise.

Thank you for the advice regarding Amazon and the kindle books. That is a great idea and I am trying to find ways to help occupy my mind.

I know this is a legal advice forum and that is why I came to ask about my posts and whether I should worry about them as I try to move on and fix whatever is left of myself.

I got the therapist for the emotional stuff, lol.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I know this is a legal advice forum and that is why I came to ask about my posts and whether I should worry about them as I try to move on and fix whatever is left of myself.

Without knowing the nature of your posts there is no way we can access the potential legal ramifications of them. But if law enforcement hasn't shown up at your house you a probably OK.

 

[adjusterjack]

Thank you for the advice regarding Amazon and the kindle books. That is a great idea and I am trying to find ways to help occupy my mind.

Consider investing in a Kindle Fire. It's a tablet on which you can read Kindle books rather than sitting in front of the computer. I have about 100 books on mine. I read in bed and I take it with me when I know I'll have to sit and wait somewhere like at the dentist or doctor.

 

[depressedsoul38499]

Consider investing in a Kindle Fire. It's a tablet on which you can read Kindle books rather than sitting in front of the computer. I have about 100 books on mine. I read in bed and I take it with me when I know I'll have to sit and wait somewhere like at the dentist or doctor.

Thanks I will check that immediately today!

 

[cbg]

I love my Fire. It not only has books, but it has apps and games; I can watch movies on it; I can Skype, Facebook and other social media; I can do armchair travel and play music.